Diplomatic Relations
by Eclipse9856
Summary: "A diplomat is a person who specializes in facilitating peaceful relations between different factions, often by serving as a negotiator or a neutral mediator of disputes." Pike forces Jim to go on a diplomatic training assignment and she encounters Sybok. The oldest son of Sarek, Sybok is a interesting Vulcan to say the least. He also happens to be just what Jim needs. FJim/Sybok
1. Chapter 1

AN: Another rare pair. Like really rare. FKirk/Sybok.

For those who don't know who Sybok is, which isn't hard because Star Trek V: The Final Frontier is 'muh', he's Sarek's first born son and Spock's older half-brother. In the prime timeline, he was banished from Vulcan and erased from all records. Eventually, he steals the Enterprise and ends up getting himself killed but that won't have much baring on this story. I don't know why he was omitted from the reboot like Kirk's big brother but I think it would've been cool to see either of them.

Since I like to have some kind of visual reference when I write my stories, I decided on Teresa Palmer (I Am Number Four, Warm Bodies, The Choice) for FJim and Matt Bomer (White Collar, The Normal Heart, Magic Mike & Magic Mike XXL) for Sybok.

*Fun Matt Bomer fact: He and Zachary Quinto went to Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh (my hometown) together and they appear to be really good friends. They're seriously adorable together too but that's beside the point.

That's enough randomness from me. On with the story.

* * *

 _A diplomat is a person who specializes in facilitating peaceful relations between different factions, often by serving as a negotiator or a neutral mediator of disputes. A diplomat who is a citizen of one power may be hired or appointed to professionally serve the interests of another power.  
Star Trek: The Next Generation 'The Price' (S03E08)_

* * *

"Do I really have to go on this stupid thing?" Jim Kirk groaned as her back hit the mat. "Spending two weeks dealing with politicians isn't really my area of expertise or my idea of fun. Besides, I'm sure there are other people who would kill for that spot. I'm a solider, not a diplomat."

"If you want to be a captain, you're gonna have to learn a little diplomacy," Captain Christopher Pike told her. Jim rolled to her feet and moved to attack. She delivered a right hook to his side. "Not every mission is gonna be tactical, Kirk."

"I know that," she said as she ducked under a swing and swept his legs from under her advisor. "I don't have to like it."

"No," he chuckled, "you don't. I think that's enough for today."

"Only because I'm kicking your ass," the cadet smiled as she reached a hand down to help him up. Pike wrapped his hand around hers before he gave her a tug and flipped her over him, onto the mat near his head.

"If you say so, Miss Kirk."

"Show off."

How was this her life? If someone had told her last year that she'd be joking around with a Starfleet captain, she would've told them that they were crazy. Then again, James Tara Kirk -Jim to most people- was considered crazy in her own right.

The daughter of the late Lieutenant Commanders George and Winona Kirk, Jim carried the weight of a family legacy on her back. Not that people gave a damn how she felt about being compared to a man she never met or the fact that people forget about the one parent she actually had. She tried her hardest to steer clear of Starfleet, going to out of the way universities after she came home from living off planet, but all it took was a bar fight with some idiot cadets and a conversation with a federation hero to get her here.

Pike is a crafty motherfucker if there ever was one. Most people would give her a list of reasons for her to join up. She's heard everything from "it's what your parents would've wanted" to "you're wasting your potential" and a lot of crap in between. Pike just dared her to be better than her parents. Being one to never turn down a challenge, Jim found herself strapping into a shuttle bound for Starfleet Academy the next morning with the few possessions she had to her name.

There are people who want to see her crash and burn but Jim is a lot smarter than her nepotistic party girl reputation gives her credit for. She had a master's degree in normative ethics, or moral philosophy, the study of ethical action and she was working on her second master's at Starfleet Academy Command School -under Pike's urging- in military science. Now, he was sending her on diplomatic mission on Vulcan.

"Look," Pike sighed, "you took the top spots in your survival strategy and tactical analysis classes. You aced Advanced Tactical Training. You help teach my hand-to-hand combat classes. You're being considered to teach Federation History one-oh-one next year. And you already have your commission. People can doubt you if they want but we all know you can handle yourself in battle. The problem is that you don't play well with others and being in command means that you have to do just that."

"So, I have to go?"

"Yes, you have to go."

"You know, I hate you sometimes," she chuckled.

"Good. Means I'm doing my job."

* * *

"How did you get assigned to this mission?" Cadet Nyota 'I won't tell you my first name but I didn't think about the fact that you could look it up' Uhura said as she sat in the seat across from Jim in the shuttle bound for the USS Republic. "Pull some strings or call in favors?"

"No. I was ordered to go on this trip, so like any good ensign, I'm going," Jim told the woman who hates her for no real reason. "I would much rather go with Bones to see his daughter. Or you know, go see my brother who I haven't seen in five years and meet my future sister-in-law. On top of that, I'm already pissed about having to play nice for credits. So, can you please save the righteous indignation for another day?"

"You have a brother?" Uhura asked.

"You mean you didn't know that?" Jim asked sarcastically before adopting a shocked look on her face. "I thought everyone knew everything about me." She shook her head, "People usually forget that he exists. Works for him, he gets to live in semi-anonymity even with our father's name. I mean, seriously, it always makes me laugh that people forget that there's another George Kirk."

Her brother, Doctor George Samuel Kirk junior, was a staff biologist in a Federation research facility off-planet. He was due to get married soon to one of the scientists he worked with. Jim hasn't had the chance to meet Aurelan but she did get to talk with her over vid-com.

"You really don't want to go to Vulcan?" Uhura asked, dropping the subject of Jim's family.

"I don't mind the planet. I don't want to have to sit quietly and watch a bunch of ass-kissing and passive aggressive arguments," Jim sighed as the shuttle started it's ascent. "I get enough of that at the academy. Why are you going on this trip, linguistics stuff?"

The other woman smiled, "Of course."

* * *

Apparently, diplomats have a thing for partying before their business. The Republic dropped off the group of cadets and officers in ShiKahr, Vulcan's capital, just in time to get dressed up and go to a 'diplomatic reception.' Everyone with half a brain knew that meant a party, and not a fun kind of party either. Being authorized to wear civilian attire -even a cocktail dress- was about the only thing Jim paid attention to in the "don't be stupid or screw things up" briefing they got before they were led to the home of the Vulcan Ambassador to Earth's home, where the shin dig was taking place.

Pomp and circumstance always rubbed Jim the wrong way and she lasted all of fifteen minutes before she excused herself from the handsy alien she was talking to and went out to one of the balconies.

"You don't seem like the diplomatic type," a voice said from her right side. Jim didn't say anything, so he took that as an invitation to continue. "If I had to make a hypothesis, I would say you specialize in combat."

"Why would you say that?" Jim asked, genuinely curious. Most people assume that she's a nurse or a yeoman, like those are the only jobs a beautiful blonde woman can do.

"Your hands," the man said as he stood next to her.

Jim looked up and found herself standing next to a Vulcan. He was taller than her, at least six feet, and handsome as all hell with a strong jaw and alluring eyes that seemed to see everything. Unlike the other Vulcans she saw, his black hair was pushed back and out of his face. He was also wearing a suit instead of the Vulcan robes like many of the others. As a matter of fact, without the ears and eyebrows he could probably pass for Human.

Not one to usually find Vulcan's attractive, Jim found herself genuinely intrigued, so she decided to play along. "What about my hands?"

"Those are the hands of someone who works with them. Your nails are short and there isn't any grease or dirt under them, so you're not an engineer. Though, that's not impossible, it's just unlikely. Your stance is casual but defensive and even though you're on a balcony, you managed to find the one spot where no one can approach you from behind. How'd I do?"

"Not bad," she smiled. "Tactician with a proficiency in hand-to-hand. Though, I can hold my own in engineering if I have to. Jim."

"Sybok, son of Sarek," he told her.

"The ambassador's son. I'm not gonna get into trouble for talking to you, am I?" Jim asked. Not that she cared about getting in trouble, she just remembered that part of their briefing was about not talking to certain people, she was pretty sure that Sarek's family was off-limits.

"Do you want to?" Sybok smiled.

She couldn't help but give him a look. He was happy about something and it showed all over his face. Any other Vulcan would give her -and everyone else- that cold, blank stare but he didn't.

"Maybe," she shrugged. "I'm always up for a little trouble."

"Well, then I'll be sure to shout it from the rooftops that I met you. How's that?"

"That'll work," Jim chuckled. "If you don't mind me saying so, you're not like any Vulcan I've ever met before." It wasn't a bad thing, just odd.

"Not the first time I've heard that," he told her before leaning closer to whisper. "My mother raised me to embrace my emotions. I hide my feelings around other Vulcans to protect my father, my brother and my step-mother but out here, I tend not to bother with the charade. No one can see me but the stars. You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"No. I have my own mask to wear, as it were," she sighed. "People expect certain things from me, that's what I give them. No need to be anything other than that. I save the special stuff for special people."

"That's good. I might have to use that sometime."

"Wouldn't most Vulcans think it illogical?"

"Most would. Many probably do. I'm not like them," he smiled.

"I can see that."


	2. Chapter 2

"Who was that guy you were with last night?" Uhura asked her at breakfast.

"Are we really having girl talk?" Jim looked across the table. "I must've missed the memo where we were friends."

"We are friends."

"No… I want to be your friend but you hate me."

"I don't hate you," the communications cadet said. Jim raised an eyebrow in that irritating way Bones, her best friend, does. "I don't. I don't like you most of the time but I don't hate you. Are you gonna tell me?"

"That I had a conversation with a Vulcan on Vulcan. Somebody call the media," Jim deadpanned.

"You don't have to be bitchy," Uhura chuckled.

"I've been telling you that for almost two years… so has Bones… so has Gaila," Jim pointed out. "You don't have to like me but don't pretend that you do when you want information, it's annoying."

"You're cranky without McCoy," Uhura smiled.

"And I bet he's cranky without me too. The joys of friendship," the tactician chuckled.

Doctor Leonard McCoy, Jim's best friend, was the cantankerous man that she spent most of her free time with back in San Francisco. A few years older than Jim, Bones -only she can call him that- was just as fucked up as she was most of the time. He was a good doctor, his ex-wife just ripped out his heart and fed it to wolves. The only things that gave the man solace were his daughter, torturing the idiot cadets who bang themselves up, good bourbon and Jim… but only sometimes. Half the time, she gave him as many headaches as everyone else, but at least she does it out of love.

"I didn't catch a name, okay," Jim looked at Uhura and lied. The other woman stared at her for a long moment before she shook her head.

"You're lying."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

* * *

"Can I help you with something?" Jim asked the man following her down the corridor inside the Vulcan Science Academy residence hall, where the Starfleet personnel were staying. For some reason, she knew it was Sybok.

"Thought you weren't supposed to talk to me," he chuckled as he fell into step with her.

"You're the one following me," she pointed out. Jim was five days in on this fourteen-day assignment. So far, all she's seen is a bunch of bickering back and forth between a group of people who, it seemed, didn't even want to be here in the first place.

"I actually didn't know you'd be here. But since I saw you, I just thought I'd pass on the information that you will be among the cadets with my father tomorrow, Ensign Kirk," Sybok told her. Jim gave him a look. "Before you ask, it's the normal rotation, had nothing to do with me."

"I don't remember giving you my last name. And even with my commission, I'm still technically a cadet unless I'm executing command duties... like on a ship," Jim said.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out who you were. Jim is a diminutive form of James. There are two people named James in your party, one male and one female. Your file has you listed by rank."

"Huh," she muttered to herself.

"You're actually harder to track down than the others. You have quite a few blocks in the system, like someone doesn't want anyone to see your information. Even large sections of your Starfleet file are redacted."

"What can I say? I'm special," Jim chuckled. The hidden info on her was actually to protect Starfleet but she wasn't going to tell him that, Bones doesn't even know what the information is and he's asked more than a few times about the gap in her medical record.

"You are. I read about your family," Sybok told her. She just looked at him, not sure what she should say. "I'm sorry you lost your parents."

"Thanks," she whispered. Jim couldn't remember the last time, if ever, that someone gave her condolences. "I'm sorry about your mother."

She did her own research on Sybok. Jim promised herself that she wouldn't pry but she was curious and she had some time on her hands two nights after they met. She learned that his mother, T'Rea, was a princess and a former High Master of Gol. The woman divorced Sarek when she gained her position and Sybok was born in 2224. T'Rea was active in her position for at least a decade but what happened after that isn't recorded anywhere Jim could find. All it said was that T'Rea stepped down from her position and remained quiet until her death.

"Thank you," he smiled sadly. She doesn't know why, but she hated that look on his face.

Jim looked at him. "So, is there anything I should know for, you know, tomorrow?"

"Now, Miss Kirk, that would be cheating," he glanced around before he smiled.

"Isn't telling me where I'm gonna be cheating?" she asked, matter-of-factly.

"No. You're a smart woman. I'm sure you'll be able to figure out if you need to do anything special tomorrow. _The answers you seek are out there for you to find_ ," Sybok told her, the last sentence was in Vulcan.

Jim smiled and responded in kind, " _I suppose that means I have work to do_."

"I suppose it does. I must go, there is something I must attend to."

"Don't let me keep you from your duties," she smiled. "Until next time."

"Peace and long life, Miss Kirk."

"Live long and prosper, son of Sarek."

* * *

"Learning anything?" Bones asked over vid-com.

"Yes," she smiled. "I've learned that punching people is a lot more satisfying."

"I told Pike as much," he chuckled.

"Speaking of Pike..."

"Not this again," the doctor shook his head.

"But Bonesy…"

"No. I don't even know if he'd go there and I'm not asking him."

"…you guys would be so cute together," Jim smiled. If she was reading the two men right, and she usually was, they had the H.O.T. hots for each other.

"Never gonna happen," Bones sighed. "Move on."

"You're such a buzz kill," she groaned.

"Part of my charm," he chuckled. "Why are you so hell bent on hooking me up with the captain anyway?"

"You guys deserve to be happy and think you'll make each other happy."

"I think you just want to keep us off your back," Bones smiled.

"That too."

"Why don't you go on a date?"

"With you? Bones, I couldn't," Jim pretended to be scandalized. It's not that he wasn't an insanely gorgeous man, he was and the accent was like honey, she just didn't go there with her best friend/roommate/doctor/pain in the ass.

"Not me," he rolled his eyes. "Ask some nice boy or girl to go to dinner with you. Not a hook up, Jim, a real date."

"You ask some nice boy or girl or Pike to go on a date. Don't know if you noticed but half the academy thinks I'm fucking you and the other half thinks I'm fucking him. Besides, I doubt that I'd get two whole minutes before my father became the topic of discussion. Wouldn't even be the first time. Thanks but no thanks."

"What about the guy?"

"What guy?"

"The guy Uhura told Gaila that she saw you with," the southerner said.

"She doesn't know when to quit. There's no guy," she sighed.

"Except there is," he told her.

"Except he's the Vulcan Ambassador's son and completely off-limits," Jim said. "I promised Pike that I would behave. So, I think I'll hold off on the torrid love affair with Vulcan royalty."

"Royalty?"

"His mother was a princess."

"Oh. But you like him."

"He's interesting. So are you. So is Pike. So are about a dozen other people I talk to on a daily basis. Let it go," she told him.

"Fine. I'll drop it if you drop the Pike thing," her best friend offered.

"Fine," Jim groaned. "I'll drop it."


	3. Chapter 3

"Your whole group was given leave to explore before you depart in two days and you're hiding in the archives?" Sybok asked from the doorway.

"I like to read," Jim said. "Besides, if I go out there, I might get into trouble."

"But trouble is part of life," he told her as he moved closer. She didn't even attempt to hide the fact that she watched him as he walked, all graceful and confident.

"I'll be sure to tell that to Captain Pike," she smiled. "It's okay, I'd rather read. I mean, where else in the universe can a girl read T'Plana-Hath's original texts?"

Considered the Matron of Vulcan Philosophy, T'Plana-Hath believed that the work of history was the separation of rational fact from legend, propaganda and wishful thinking which her home world had a surplus of during her time. Eventually, she began to see the development of logic itself as the supreme triumph of the Vulcan civilization. One of her most prized students was Surak, the Vulcan considered by many Vulcans to be the Father of Logic.

"So, you're not just a soldier, you're a philosopher," Sybok said.

"I have my moments. For instance, should I have that second slice of chocolate cake? It will make me happy but the extra time in the gym wouldn't be nearly as pleasant," Jim smiled. Sybok read her file so he knew she had more serious stuff in her head but the chocolate cake explanation always gets a smile.

Sybok didn't disappoint, he gave her a bright smile that made his eyes sparkle as he sat the empty chair on Jim's left. "You eat the cake. Just warn me, chocolate and Vulcans is like Humans and tequila."

"So, no mochas and hot chocolates for you. You're missing out."

"Well, if I ever decide to give them a try, I'll let you know. You can keep me safe from myself."

"Will do," she smiled, her eyes alternating between the words in front of her and the man next to her. Sybok leaned closer to see what she was reading.

"I always liked T'Plana-Hath," he smiled. "She was logical but she wasn't ruled by it."

"You think that your world would be better off if everyone became emotional?" Jim asked.

"No. I feel that there is room to embrace the emotions we do have. If we did, whole factions of Vulcans wouldn't have to hide how they really feel," Sybok told her. Anyone who publicly renounced Surak's teachings was banished from Vulcan, which explained why he pretended to be completely logical. "Have you ever heard of Sha Ka Ree?"

"The Vulcan interpretation of Heaven," she nodded. "It's referenced in a few older texts."

"The Source. My mother believed that I would unite all religions by finding it. She even wrote papers about it."

"Isn't that considered heresy?" the Starfleet cadet asked, looking around to ensure they were alone.

"You know more about Vulcan than you let on."

"I told you, I only give people what they want to see," Jim reminded him. "I know a lot about a lot. It's what happens when you grow up the way I did."

"Which was what?"

"Isolated. Being born shortly before my father's heroic death drew a lot of attention to my family in general and me in particular. Attention that still follows me around, for better or worse. Usually worse. I've had to keep a low profile my whole life," she looked at him. "Something I'm sure you can relate to."

"Indeed," Sybok said with a nod. "My mother devoted her life to finding The Source. A task which now falls to me."

"Why?" Jim asked. He gave her a look. "Why does it fall to you?"

"I made her a promise."

"Some promises aren't ones you can keep. She's gone and Sha Ka Ree is all but a myth."

"You know not of what you speak," he practically growled at her.

"That's a possibility," she sighed. She didn't mean to piss him off. "There are many things my people believed over the course of human history that turned out to be complete crap. Some things were explained away by science. Some things we still don't have an answer to and we may never know. I do know that you can't spend your life chasing after something that might not exist simply because your mother believed in it."

"How do you know that I don't believe?"

"Because you wouldn't be here playing referee for a bunch of diplomats who know better. You'd already be out there searching."

* * *

Being back in San Francisco wasn't as welcoming as she thought it should be. It wasn't really home, just home for the moment, but it still should've brought her some comfort. Jim sat outside Pike's office, waiting her turn to talk to the captain. Of course he wanted a play-by-play of how her two weeks on Vulcan went. The man has probably already read the reports from the instructor leading the group. Jim was sure she didn't get a glowing report like Uhura got but it was still good.

Unfortunately, her brain kept going back to Sybok. It was like a cruel joke, really. How often does she meet someone that's engaging and intriguing who doesn't give a damn about her last name? Never. Of course, like everything else in her life, she probably fucked it up before it started. She's an idiot. A genius idiot who's gonna die alone.

"Kirk," Pike's yeoman said, pulling Jim out of her thoughts, "you can go in there now."

"Thanks," Jim gave a weak smile and walked into the office. Pike was sitting at his desk, looking all perfect as usual. "I already know what you're gonna ask. 'What could I have done better?' I don't actually have an answer for you this time. This really isn't my thing."

"I've seen you talk circles around people," Pike said as he motioned for her to sit down. "So tell me why you can't do the same here?"

"I don't fuckin' know," she shrugged. Pike raised an eyebrow. "Sir." Jim thought about his words for a moment. "I guess it's not about talking, it's more about listening and we both know I suck at that."

"You're not as bad as you think you are. Give yourself some credit, you did good according to Commander Howe. I just wanted to check on you," he told her with a smirk.

"Oh. I'm good. You know me."

"I do know you. I also know when something's bothering you," Pike sighed. "You've been back for a week and McCoy says you're not acting like yourself."

"I'm going to class and staying out of trouble. That's a problem?" Jim asked.

"It's not. We're just curious about the cause," he said.

"Then ask, you know, like a normal person."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm great. Next question."

Pike raised an eyebrow, "What happened with the ambassador's son?"

"Nothing happened. We talked to each other a few times but that's it," she told him. "Why? What did Uhura say this time?"

"She didn't say anything. At least, not to me. Sybok, on the other hand, sent me a message for you."

"What?" Jim asked as he handed her a PADD. There wasn't much, just his contact information and a request for Pike to get it to her. "I don't... I didn't…"

"It's okay, kiddo."

"Why'd he contact you?" she asked.

"Anybody who wants to talk to you that doesn't already have your contact information has to go through your advisor. It's a pain in the ass but its SOP for all high publicity students. Weeds out the media," Pike told her. That made sense. "Anything I should know?"

"Nope," Jim shrugged and forwarded the message to her communicator.

"You want a piece of advice?" he asked. She gave him a look. "Call him."

"I'll think about it. Last thing we need is for me to cause problems with the Vulcans," Jim sighed. Granted, Sybok's family is an oddity among their people, they still have a lot influence and she didn't want to be on the wrong side of that. "You should take your own advice, you know."

"Not that simple," Pike smiled, knowing that she was referring to Bones. "Now get out of here."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Just do it, kid," Bones said four days after Pike gave her Sybok's contact info. Every day, she'd get up, stare at it for a few minutes, then go about her day. Then at night, she'd stare at it again before coming up with a reason not to contact the handsome Vulcan.

"Shut up," she muttered.

"What are you scared of?" her best friend asked.

"You mean other than the fact that his father is the Ambassador Sarek? Or how about the fact that everyone watches everything I do? I can see the headlines now 'Kelvin Baby Hot and Heavy with Ambassador's Son'," Jim said before she flopped down on her bed. "It's better to leave well enough alone."

"But you like him."

"You like Pike but you won't do anything about it," she pointed out. "He likes you too."

"Why are we talking about this again. I thought we agreed to drop it."

"We did. The same time you agreed to leave me alone about Sybok. You can't have it both ways."

"Jim…"

"Leave it alone, Bones. I don't get what I want… not that I want Sybok or anything." She does, even if she won't admit it to herself. "It's just that it's the story of my life to walk away empty handed, no point in trying to change that now."


	4. Chapter 4

_To: ENS Kirk, James Tara, SC937-0176CEC, Command School, Starfleet Academy_ _  
From: S'chn T'gai Sybok, Vulcan Diplomatic Corps, Confederacy of Vulcan_

 _You've had my information for nearly three weeks and you still haven't contacted me. You are easily the second most stubborn person I know._

 _S._

Jim stared at her screen for… well, she wasn't actually sure how long she stared at it. Now that he could contact her, there was nothing stopping him, though, she really wanted to know how he managed that. She decided, against her better judgement, to respond.

 _To:_ _S'chn T'gai Sybok, Vulcan Diplomatic Corps, Confederacy of Vulcan  
From_ _: ENS Kirk, James Tara, SC937-0176CEC, Command School, Starfleet Academy_

 _Only the second, huh? Who's the first? What's S'chn T'gai mean? And how'd you get my information?_

 _Jim_

She didn't have to wait long for him to reply, her instant messaging program activated.

 _Sybok1*VDC: My brother is more stubborn than you but not by much. S'chn T'gai is my family name, don't try to pronounce it, most humans can't. And your roommate contacted me with your information._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Of course he did. Bones is such a meddler._

Jim was gonna get him back for this. Her brain ran through every devious thing she could come up with for her best buddy.

 _Sybok1*VDC: Bones?_

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Nickname._

 _Sybok1*VDC: There is a story behind that._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Not really. He told me that his bones were the only thing his ex-wife let him keep. That, in addition to him being a doctor, is why I call him Bones._

For a long moment, nothing happened, then a message popped up on the screen.

 _Sybok1*VDC: I think you might be right about my search for The Source. It is possible that Sha Ka Ree is nothing more than a myth. I can admit that my loyalty to my mother has made me blind to that fact._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: If I understand anything, it's loyalty._

 _Sybok1*VDC: I'm sure you do. I'm not sure if I can stop looking but I at least am aware that I probably won't find what I seek._

Well, the first step in fixing a problem is admitting that there is one. Not that Jim thought he should stop looking, if that's what he wanted to do, she just wasn't convinced that he was sure he actually wanted to find Sha Ka Ree. His loyalty to his mother was still intact but his loyalty to the rest of his family was more obvious.

 _Sybok1*VDC: How is the Academy?_

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: It is what it is._

 _Sybok1*VDC: You don't seem as enthusiastic about joining the fleet as other cadets I've met._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: I'm not. I just didn't have anything better to do with my time when Pike showed up._

 _Sybok1*VDC: That is not a good reason to join Starfleet._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Never said it was._

 _Sybok1*VDC: Why then did you join?_

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: A dare._

 _Sybok1*VDC: A dare?_

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Capt Pike leveled a challenge._

 _Sybok1*VDC: I am aware of what a dare is. What perplexes me is that you joined Starfleet and subjected yourself to two years of rigorous study, with another year forthcoming, because someone dared you to._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: It's because Capt Pike dared me to. To be honest, it's not even the craziest thing I've ever done._

 _Sybok1*VDC: Are you going to elaborate on that?_

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Maybe. One day. I should go, I have a test in the morning._

 _Sybok1*VDC: By all means, do not let me keep you from your rest. I will speak with you another time._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Tomorrow?_

 _Sybok1*VDC: If that is your wish._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: It is._

 _Sybok1*VDC: Than we will speak tomorrow. Peace and long life, Miss Kirk._

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: Live long and prosper, Sybok._

She almost closed the program before she thought of something at the last moment.

 _Kirk31*SACMDSCH: And my friends call me Jim._

* * *

"I don't know how you deal with all those bickering idiots," Jim told Sybok over vid-com. Like promised, he contacted her the day after their chat, and the day after that, and the day after that, and almost every day for the last two weeks. "There's gotta be a better way for you to solve their problem."

"I agree with you," he told her. "My duty is to help them reach a consensus but it only works if they are willing to do so."

"Too bad there's no overly logical solution for you to give them," she chuckled. "Even there was, I doubt you'd give it to them anyway. You're a naughty Vulcan."

"I suppose it would seem that way but I'm not the only one who doesn't follow Surak's teachings. Not that I fault anyone who does, I just don't."

"Why do you subject yourselves to that? Living a lie."

"We all have different reasons. My primary reasoning is my family. My father is an influential man, however, because he married a human, there will always be those who wish to see him removed from his position. My brother is a Vulcan/Human hybrid and many consider him to have no place among our people. As a matter of fact, he joined Starfleet after the Minster who admitted him into the Science Academy insulted Amanda."

"What? Why?"

"I do not know. He just called her a disadvantage to Spock's face. I've never seen him so… pissed off and with good reason."

"That's horrible," Jim sighed. She's heard some doozies about her family and her father but no one ever had the gull to sling the insults to her face.

"Spock and Sarek stopped talking to each other."

"Why?"

"Because my father wanted Spock to go into the Science Academy like he did."

"But not you?" she asked.

"I attended the University of Betazed. I believe it was a better fit. The Betazoid race is one that values expression. They are also honest, nearly to the extent that you would consider rude."

"I can be rude and obnoxious at times, so I doubt I would have much of a problem," Jim smiled. "What was it like living there?"

"I enjoyed myself, however, I find I'm more suited to Earth," he told her with a playful grin.

"What's that mean?"

"My father has decided that, for the time being, I will work from our embassy in San Francisco," Sybok smiled. "If you wish, we can have these conversations in person."

"If I wish, huh? What do you wish?"

"I wish for you to join me for dinner next month when I arrive," he said.

"Can't," Jim groaned. "I'm leaving for a training cruise in two days. I'll be gone for a month a half but after I get back, I would be more than happy to have dinner with you."

* * *

"What is that?" Ensign Diane Morwood asked as she sat down across the table from Jim in the rec room.

"Kal-toh," Jim smiled. "It's a Vulcan strategy game."

"It looks like a bunch of metal sticks," the engineer chuckled. "What's the objective?"

"According to the friend who recommended it to me, you use the t'an, the metal sticks, to turn the pile into a spear," Jim explained.

"So, Vulcan Chess?" someone behind her asked.

"Not even remotely. Kal-toh is to chess as chess is to tic-tac-toe. And there is an actual Vulcan Chess. You should try it, it's interesting," she chuckled. Jim made the mistake of telling Sybok she was bored the last time she talked to him, he recommended Vulcan Chess and Kal-toh to her. Vulcan Chess wasn't hard to figure out but Kal-toh was giving her a run for her money.

"What's the point?" Morwood asked.

"The explanation I got was that it's 'not about striving for balance but about finding the seeds of order even in the midst of profound chaos.' A completed game of Kal-toh is supposed to be in the shape of two nested icosidodecahedra connected by the center points of their edges," Jim made another move before she reexamined the board.

"Do you have to play alone?" the engineer across from her asked.

"No. Sy told me that multiple people can play but I'm just trying to get the hang of it so I can play him when we get back."

"Sy? That doesn't sound like a Vulcan name," Morwood smiled.

"It's a nickname," Jim chuckled before she glanced at her chronometer. "My shift starts in twenty, I better go."

"You mind if I play?" Morwood asked.

"Have at it."

* * *

"Sir, you need to wake up," someone said, touching Jim's shoulder.

"What?" she asked as she stretched. 'Note to self; the couch in the ready room sucks.'

"Coms are back and we're being hailed," the officer in red told her. Jim knew his name; her brain just hasn't caught up with the rest of her.

"Where's Garro… Chenowyth?" Jim corrected herself before she rattled off the late captain's name.

The Farragut was performing a survey of planet Tycho Four when the ship was attacked by a, yet unidentified, creature. The attack left a good chunk of the crew dead, including Captain Stephen Garrovick… and Ensign Morwood. Jim, who was working a shift at the helm when this thing showed up, ended up being the only breathing command officer on the bridge, thus taking the conn. What remained of the bridge crew managed to get them away from the creature in heading back to Starbase One, also known as Earth Spacedock.

She had command for about twenty-two hours when the ship's first officer, Commander Art Chenowyth, who had been in engineering during and after the crisis, made his way to the bridge. No sooner had the Acting Captain taken command when they were attacked again by a different unknown species. The creatures entered the ship through the secondary hull, killing many of the surviving crew members.

Jim helped what was left of the damage control team evacuate the engineering hull before triggering a saucer separation. The primary hull -the saucer section- fired on and destroyed the severely damaged half of the ship. Now, they were left to limp back to Earth in half a ship with the one hundred and thirty-seven, of five hundred and twelve, crewmen still alive.

She wasn't sure if she was lucky or cursed at this point. Jim was alive but her captain and a lot of people were dead, her knee was banged up and she was the acting first officer.

"He's in medical, where you should probably be, sir," the kid, Burke, told her. Jim got banged up like the rest of them but nothing that would kill her, so she could wait.

"Okay, who's hailing us?"

"Vulcan ship offering to tow us back to Earth," he said.

Cursed. Definitely cursed.


	5. Chapter 5

"Jim, are you okay?" Sybok asked as soon as she limped off the transport at the starbase. She really shouldn't have been surprised to see him there waiting for her. Even if Jim hadn't sent Sybok a message to let him know that she wasn't dead, there was no doubt that the captain of the Vulcan ship had contacted his chain of command, which would've contacted Starfleet and the ambassador's office.

"I'm fine. The ship is mostly gone. Crew too. The captain's dead…"

"I didn't ask about any of that. I asked about you," he told her, reaching out to touch her arm before thinking better of it and letting his hand drop. Jim looked up into those soulful eyes and, even though he tried to hide it, she could see how worried he was. That, more than anything she's been through in the last three days, scared the crap out of her. She was sure he had more important things to worry about than her, yet, here he was.

She glanced around, "I'm not… I can't. Not here."

Jim was keeping it together as best she could but she was exhausted and definitely not okay. She refused to let the crew see her break and there was no way in hell she was letting George Kirk's daughter cry near the idiots from the press corps. Jim took a deep breath; all she has to do is keep it together for a little while.

"I understand," Sybok said as he checked her over, his eyes lingering below the hemline of her uniform. "You should have your leg examined. Doctor McCoy will not be happy when he sees how swollen your knee is."

"Bones is rarely happy about anything. He's gonna bitch at me. I'm sure he'll hug me too but mostly just bitch at me," Jim chuckled. "I uh... I need a minute. Walking around on a bum knee takes a lot out of a girl."

"You do not have to do everything alone, Jim. Allow me to assist you," he said, offering himself up as a crutch, well aware that she'd probably try to kick him if he picked her up.

"Thanks."

Since all the walking wounded were being treated on the ground, Jim -and Sybok- got to beam down to the big Starfleet hospital in San Francisco where her best friend was waiting for her. Like she thought, Bones gave her a hug before he started his bitching and complaining about her injuries and the fact that she waited to get them tended to.

"Bones, shut up," she declared about seven minutes into his rant. "I'm sorry that I didn't rush to medical, I was busy not dying. Can you stop yelling at me and fix it? I still have to debrief, want to call my brother _and_ I need to check on what's left of the crew because, until the brass tells me otherwise, I'm still the first officer." Bones gave her a look. "I'm tired. I watched a bunch of good people die. I haven't eaten in days. I have hours upon hours of work to do and right now, I just wanna crawl into bed, bury myself in blankets and cry. So, please, just stop," Jim admitted to the two men. Bones had the grace to be quiet and Sybok… Sybok had pain etched into his features.

"So much pain," the Vulcan whispered.

"What…?" she gave him a look.

"I can hear you…" Sybok said as he looked at her.

Jim thought about it for a long moment, "You can read my mind?"

"Not normally. You're broadcasting," he told her.

"Oh. I'm so sor…"

"No, don't. It's enlightening to the see inside your mind, be it only brief flashes," Sybok offered her a small smile.

"If you're seeing the last few days, I am sorry. I wouldn't share that with my enemies."

* * *

"You should have allowed Doctor McCoy to administer pain medication," he told her as she grit her teeth. The osteo-regenerator was working on fixing the crack in her patella and it hurt… a lot.

"Can't think clearly on those things. I need to have control over my head right now," Jim said. "Talk to me to keep my mind off of the pain. Tell me how it works. Your telepathy."

"It's not a parlor trick," the handsome Vulcan told her.

"But it kinda is," she pointed out. "I mean, I get that most Vulcans are born with some form of touch telepathy but I've never heard of a Vulcan with the ability to read somebody without touching them."

"It's a rare trait among my people. Some are more powerful than others and there are often limitations," he said.

"Like what?"

"In my case, proximity. Both physical and… and emotional. I need to be near someone and I have to have some type of connection to that person in order for it to work."

"Does that mean we have some type of connection?" Jim asked before she could stop herself. She already knew the answer to that.

"I believe we do. If I'm incorrect, I apologize."

"I don't think you're wrong. I mean, you heard my mind, even if it was only a little, right?"

"Correct," Sybok smiled. "Would you like to explore it with me?"

"How would we do that?"

"I believe the human term is 'to date'."

"You want to date me?"

"If I were a good Vulcan, I would say something like 'I believe we would make a more than suitable match and it would be logical to engage in an exclusive, interpersonal relationship'."

"But you're not a good Vulcan," she chuckled.

"No. I'm not," he smiled. "I like you and you like me. Everything else is irrelevant."

"Can I think about it?" Jim asked. "As smooth as the whole 'everything else is irrelevant' line is; we both know that that's not true."

"That wasn't a no."

"Definitely wasn't a no. It's just… I'm an emotional mess right now and there are things to consider." It killed her to say it but she knew jumping into things with him would probably blow up in their faces. If they were going to do this, they needed to be adults about it.

"I can appreciate that," Sybok smiled. "Perhaps we should have that dinner we talked about."

"So, _a_ date?"

"A date. Yes. We can decide our fate after that."

"Okay. Dinner it is."

* * *

It took just over a week after the Farragut got back to Earth in all it's banged up glory for Jim to have some time off. She was one of a bunch of officers who meritoriously promoted as a result of what happened on the ship. Chenowyth apparently put in her paperwork himself; glowing report and all. Not that she cared about stuff like that, Jim had more important things to worry about.

"Kirk. What do you want?" Uhura asked when the door to the linguist's room opened.

"I need to talk to Gaila," Jim said. The other woman stared at her for a long moment before letting her in.

"Jimmy," the bubbly Orion smiled. "What's up?"

"I need something to wear to a date that's not a date but kinda is," Jim told her friend. Gaila gave her a look. "Tomorrow… At the Vulcan Embassy."

"I knew it!" Uhura exclaimed. "It's that guy, isn't it?"

"The Vulcan aide guy?" Gaila asked.

"He's not an aide," Jim said. Both women gave her a look. "He's the Vulcan Ambassador's son."

"Wait…" the Orion looked between Jim and Uhura. "Aren't you dating the ambassador's son?"

"Hold up..." Jim looked at Uhura, "You're going out with Lieutenant Commander Spock? What the fuck?"

"Kirk…" Uhura started.

"Don't you 'Kirk' me. I can't do anything in this place without everyone giving me the third degree but you fuck an instructor and nobody bats an eyelash," Jim said. She stared at Uhura. "You're a hypocrite. You give me shit for no reason all the time but you're the one…"

"That's enough," Uhura declared. "Yes, Spock is an instructor but he's not my instructor. It's not against any rules."

"Funny, I said the same thing when you thought I was sleeping with Pike. You gave me some crap about it being within regs but morally reprehensible," Jim pointed out. As bad as the rumor was, the fact that the man was the only father figure Jim's ever really had just made it worse.

"You still could've…" the linguist started.

"No, I couldn't've. I don't fuck my friends. Even if I did, I'm not remotely his type. Pike's gay," Jim said.

"He is not," Gaila looked at her.

"Oh, honey, he is and he's got it bad for my badass bisexual bestie. Bones likes him too but won't do anything. I'll tell you about it later," Jim chuckled before she looked at Uhura. "You owe me an apology."

"Why?"

"Because you're mean and condescending to her for no reason even though me and McCoy have both told you that she's not what you think she is. And for taking her to task for sleeping with an officer, even though she never slept with him, then turning around and doing the exact thing you accused her of," Gaila answered.

"That. All of that," Jim pointed at Gaila.

"I'm sorry," Uhura said. Jim could tell that the other woman wasn't entirely sure if she should be sorry but Uhura said the words anyway.

"That sucked but I'll take it because I'm already freaking out over dinner with Sybok. Gaila, help," Jim looked at the Orion, who started digging in her closet.

Uhura sighed loudly, "You're better off wearing my clothes than hers. Let's see if I can find you something."


	6. Chapter 6

"Please state your name and purpose," the guard at the embassy told her.

"James Kirk. Opidsu Sybok is expecting me," she said, using the honorific for 'lord'. Apparently, she was right about the whole royalty thing.

"Allow the lieutenant to pass," a light, feminine voice said from down the corridor. Jim looked over the guard's shoulder and found a woman smiling at her.

"Okosu Amanda," the guard said with a slight nod. So, that's Lady Amanda, Sarek's wife and Sybok's step-mom.

"You must forgive the guards. Protocol," the older woman said as soon as Jim cleared security.

"Yes, ma'am," Jim smiled.

"Please, call me Amanda."

"Jim."

"Well, Jim, Sybok is in the kitchen giving the staff a run for their credits. Come." Amanda looped her arm with Jim's and the younger woman had a feeling that she was being inspected. It was a good thing she let Gaila and Uhura talk her into wearing a -admittedly cute- knee-length skirt, even though Jim wore her leather jacket too; it balanced out.

"Wait, Sybok cooks?" Jim asked.

"He does. Not nearly as often as he likes but he does just the same," Amanda smiled.

"Huh. I never would've guessed that one," the younger woman chuckled.

"As I'm sure you're aware, Sybok keeps a lot of himself hidden away. More for Sarek's benefit for his own."

"So I've noticed."

"He said you were very observant," Sybok's step-mother smiled. "I'm just glad to see more of him shining through these days."

"Nothing to do with me."

"I'm sure that's not true. There aren't many people who understand Sybok on any level. Don't sell yourself short."

"I will endeavor not to," Jim chuckled.

"Good. He quite enjoys having someone to argue philosophy with," Amanda told her but Jim got the feeling that there was much more to it than that.

"Well, I'm great at arguing."

"He said as much. He also tells me that you study normative ethics and military science."

"Yes. I know that they probably sound like opposites but there's a fair bit of moral philosophy in the application of combat theory. 'If I take an action to protect one side, what damage do I do to the other side.' Stuff like that," Jim said.

"I'm sure your parents would be proud if they were here."

"You're probably the first person to say that to me, ever," Jim whispered. Her heart clinched a little at the thought that this woman, who was a stranger two minutes ago, hit Jim's biggest insecurity right on the nose.

"I don't doubt it. My other son, Spock, had a difficult time growing up. To look at him, he doesn't differ from every other Vulcan, however, I'm his mother. The children didn't bother hiding their disdain at his mixed heritage and many adults took a passive aggressive approach."

"Sybok told me about his tiff with the Minister of Science."

"Yes," Amanda sighed. "Spock did everything they've ever asked and he couldn't even be admitted to the academy without someone insulting him, and me. If anyone understands what it means to be treated poorly because of their parentage, it is Sarek's sons. Spock's mother is Human and Sybok's mother was considered a heretic."

"T'Rea. I read up on her, I think she might've had a point. I mean, the universe works on a balance, why shouldn't we?" Jim asked just as they stepped into the large kitchen.

"That is a very good point," Amanda smiled. "I will leave you to Sybok. Until next time, Jim."

"Lady Amanda," Jim said with a smile as the older woman left the room.

"She likes you," Sybok said from the other side of the kitchen as soon as they were alone.

"How can you tell?" Jim asked as she took a few steps closer.

"She did not give birth to me but she is as much my mother as T'Rea was, more in some ways. I can tell when she likes someone," he chuckled before he turned to look at her.

"What?"

"You are beautiful."

"So are you," she pointed out.

"Perhaps," Sybok smiled. "Did you get dressed up just to stand all the way over there?"

"Maybe."

"Okay," he wiped his hands on towel before moving to stand in front of her. "Hello."

"Na'shaya," Jim smiled, returning his greeting in his native tongue. The pair stared at each other for a long moment. "What's for dinner?"

"It's a surprise."

"I like surprises."

"That is good to know."

* * *

"And this is my study," Sybok told her as they walked into the room. After dinner, which was a pretty awesome Vulcan version of ratatouille niçoise, he gave her a tour of the residence part of the embassy and his official office. With -actual- books and art all over the place, this room had a lot more life in it than the others. "It's smaller than my father's, of course, but I like it."

"You have quite the view," she smiled as she stepped around a stack of books to look out the balcony doors.

"That's Amanda's garden. There's someone who tends to it when she's not here. Sometimes I go out there and read. It's very calming."

"I can imagine," Jim smiled. It reminded her of her favorite reading spots when she was a kid.

"A barn?" he said before he caught himself. "My apologies."

"It's okay," she looked at him. "When I was little, my grandfather told me that my dad used to go into the barn and fall asleep in the hayloft. So, I went to see what all the fuss was about. Became my favorite place the world."

"Do you ever go back?"

"Nothing to go back to. My uncle on my mother's side sold it… gotta love legal wrangling. I suppose I could attempt to get it back but the people that live there now are pretty nice and there's not much I can do with a farm, so I leave it alone. Not that it would matter much, even if I did go back, it wouldn't be the same. Some very horrible things happened to the hopelessly idealistic girl I used to be. Now, I know that even if I spend all day up there, the real world is still waiting for me."

"How long have you had that view?"

"Since I was thirteen. That is its own conversation and not one I'm willing to have any time soon… or mostly sober," Jim smiled. The two glasses of wine she had weren't enough to let her even think about it.

"Another time," Sybok said as he moved closer to her.

"Perhaps," she nodded as he moved even closer. "What are you doing?"

"I would like to show you something."

"Really?" Jim was equal parts curious and suspicious. "Are you gonna kiss me?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I don't kn…"

"The word you're looking for is 'yes'." He tapped the side of his head.

"That's cheating."

"You're the one broadcasting. So, while you say 'I don't know', your mind is screaming at me to kiss you."

"Which voice are you going to listen to?" she asked as she looked up at him, her voice sounding breathy in her ears.

Sybok held her gaze for a long moment, "That is the question."

* * *

"Stop your whining, Bones. You wouldn't even be having this problem if you just ask Pike out," Jim told her best friend two days after her date with Sybok. Bones was part of some project off-planet that Jim didn't know the particulars of and MedCom was having a cocktail reception thing for them. Bones needed a date and Jim refused to be his plus one.

"That's not gonna help," Bones sighed.

"Come on, Doctor McHottie, you know that Captain Delicious likes you back. Just go for it."

"Where do you come up with this stuff?" he grumbled.

"There's plenty bouncing around in this head. I have to clear it out so I can get started studying for the Kobayashi Maru scenario," she smiled. Her last year at the Academy meant everything was kicked into overdrive. Jim only had a few classes but she has some training cruises on deck, she was also teaching a semester of Federation History to the first-years.

"You're gonna fail."

"No, I won't."

"Everyone does," Bones chuckled.

"Yea but I'm awesome and you're trying to change the subject. Call Pike and buy him a drink or something then ask him to go with you. You two are long overdue for a make out session," Jim chuckled.

"Is that what you and Sybok did?"

"Nope," she half-lied.

"Why's your face red?"

"Okay. So, he taught me this Vulcan hand touching thing." Jim doesn't know what was more adorable, the way Sybok's face blushed a little green or that fact that she felt this jolt run though her, even if it was just their fingers.

"He taught you a Vulcan what now?" he asked.

"It's this thing, the only way to describe it is a Vulcan kiss. I touch two of my fingers to two of his. There's more to it, of course, but I'm not gonna attempt to explain," Jim said. Not that she could really explain how she felt the simple act from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. "I think we might do some Human style making out tomorrow."

"Because he's never made out before."

"Hell if I know. I mean, it's possible, he went to college on Betazed, but he's never mentioned having anything beyond a Vulcan fiancée."

"He was engaged?" Bones looked at her.

"Most Vulcans are. There's a ritual when they're children that links two Vulcans to each other. There's a point when they're biologically compelled to be together. It's called pom fair. No… pon farr, that's it. Pon Farr. Sybok said he'll explain it to be better one day because he wasn't actually supposed to tell me about it to begin with but if I'm gonna be around him, I needed to know. I looked it up but I couldn't find much more than the fact that it has something to do with mating and marriage, so I let it drop but I might ask Lady Amanda if I see her again. Anyway, my original point, his betrothed wanted to undergo kolinahr so he released her from the betrothal. There's more to that too but he didn't explain."

"Koolanier?"

"Ko-li-naar. It's the ritual and practice of purging all emotion. Sybok's brother almost did it too before joining Starfleet," she told her friend.

"His brother's fleet?"

"Lieutenant Commander Spock. He's an instructor for a bunch of stuff but I've never had him. He did grade my ATT team's science final but I've never met him in person. I'll ask Pike to give me some info when I get a chance. Or you can ask for me," Jim answered, wiggling her eyebrows. She wasn't gonna tell him about the fact that the guy was also Uhura's boyfriend.

"Huh. I never would've figured you as the type to have a Vulcan boyfriend," he chuckled, ignoring her comments about Pike.

"He's not my boyfriend and you're deflecting." She and Sybok were testing the waters, that was all… at least, that's what she was telling herself. It was near impossible not to like him and she was _way_ past liking Sybok.

"You really think I got a shot with Captain Delicio… Pike?" Bones asked.

"Would I lie to you about something like that? Remember, I've met your ex-wife. Anyone is better than that bitch but Pike is actually better than just about everyone."

"Why don't you date him?"

"I don't shit where I eat, Bones," she shrugged. "You, him, Gaila… all off-limits."

"I wish someone would've told me that before I married my boss' daughter."

* * *

"I'm trying to read," Jim smiled.

"So, read," Sybok smirked before he went back to running his fingers along the back of her neck. Always a sensitive spot, Jim was having a hard time doing anything other than focusing on the way the sensation seemed to roll down her spine.

"Don't you have work to do?" she asked, her eyes re-reading the same sentence for the fourth time.

"I'll get it done. I always do," he told her before a feather-light kiss brushed her earlobe. Reading in the garden was supposed to be calming. For some reason she hadn't figured out, Sybok was determined not to let her relax. As a matter of fact, she could feel her pulse racing.

"You're asking for trouble."

"As long as that trouble is a one point seven meters, fifty-four point four-three kilogram Human female with long, golden hair and cerulean blue eyes, I won't mind, Miss Kirk."

"Are you sure you want to play this game with me, Opidsu Sybok?" Jim asked with a smirk. "I'm very good at it."

"I am aware. I'm just not afraid of you," Sybok chuckled.

"Maybe you should be," she told him before she closed the book and sat it on the blanket next to her leg.

"What are you going to do?"

"Why should I tell you?" Jim smirked before giving him a little nudge, pushing him onto his back. She leaned over him, ready to give him a dose of his own medicine, when his communicator beeped. Sybok gave her a look that Jim would equate to an eye roll. "Work?" He nodded. "Then answer it."

"I don't want to," he chuckled as he opened the device. "This is Sybok."

Jim started to back away to give him some privacy but he shook his head and pulled her against his chest while having his conversation. She didn't even pay attention to what he was saying, she just closed her eyes and listened as his voice washed over her. If she fell asleep, who could blame her?


	7. Chapter 7

"Ya know, you can come in," Jim called to the person lurking outside the cabin. Since Pike, the cabin's owner, was really the only person who had any idea where she was, Jim knew it could only be a handful of people.

"Hmm. This place is… What's that word you use? Cozy?" Sybok asked as he stepped into the room.

"That's it," she nodded. "When'd you get back?"

"An hour ago. I went your dorm to surprise you and Doctor McCoy said that you were with Captain Pike. So, I went to the captain," he told her. He'd been off-planet for a few days doing some diplomatic stuff.

"And he gave you the super-secret coordinates for his cabin. You are a lucky man," Jim sighed.

Sybok pulled off his jacket before he moved to kneel in front of her, his hands resting on her thighs. "Why are you out here?"

"Pike didn't tell you?" she asked.

"He said it was not for him to tell."

"That's true," Jim chuckled. "I'm hiding."

"You're hiding in a cabin in the Mojave Desert with nothing but a twenty-year-old bottle of Georgia bourbon as your companion. Would you care to tell me why?"

"Because Bones gave me that bottle on my last birthday and I'm having a bad day, so I felt it was warranted," she told him, trying to avoid the real answer to that question.

"What has distressed you?"

"Bad memories. To explain them I'd have to explain a lot of stuff and I…" Stopping to think about it for half a minute, she decided that if they were going to be anything with each other, he should probably know. "Can I tell you secret?"

"You can tell me anything. You know that," he told her.

"What do you know about stardate twenty-two-forty-six point three-one-four?" Jim rattled off the number that was etched into her soul by heartache, grit and determination.

"It is the day that Starfleet responded to a distress call from Tarsus Four," Sybok said in that clinical Vulcan tone she's only heard a handful of times before his eyes connected with hers. "You were there?"

"Yep. I guess I have to start at the beginning. You know that my mom died when I was eleven, me and Sam were sent to live with her brother… Frank. After the fanfare surrounding my mother's death went away, he starting drinking, a lot. He resented getting stuck with us but he was our only living kin and he had access to the trusts that were set up, so he took us. Me and Sam… we steered clear as much as we could but… an angry fifteen-year-old boy and a pubescent twelve-year-old girl, both with abandonment issues, in a house with a pissed off, alcoholic man was not a good mix."

"He hurt you? Touched you?" Sybok asked, his jaw clinched and the anger coming through in his tone. Jim doesn't know what compelled her, but she reached up and ran her fingers along his jaw. After a moment, she felt some of the tension in his face dissipate.

"Once. The day my brother ran away and I drove my father's nineteen sixty-five Chevy Corvette Stingray into the quarry," Jim said, smiling in spite of herself. "Frank wanted to sell it but it wasn't his to sell. It belonged to me and my brother. I told him that I'd rather see it in pieces than see him drink away the credits he got for it. He flat out told me that I couldn't do anything about it."

"Ahh, a challenge," he smiled.

"Yep. I trashed it. Got dragged home by the cops. He was on me as soon as they left. It was bad. I won't tell you just how bad right now but I, uh… I went to my excuse of a school looking like I lost a fight with a Klingon and I couldn't sit down. They sent me over to the fleet clinic at the shipyard. Three doctors, a series of regens, a social worker and a call to the one person my mother told me I could trust, and I was on the next transport to Tarsus Four where Hoshi Sato was waiting for me." Jim went to take a drink from the tumbler in her hand and frowned when she realized it was empty.

"Allow me," Sybok told her, taking the glass from her hands, refilling it, handing it back to her and returning to his position in front of her. She wasn't gonna bother asking if it was uncomfortable, Jim had the impression that he just didn't care.

"It wasn't all bad. Tarsus. I could breathe there. I wasn't the daughter of Riverside's golden boy, I was just me. Then, on twenty-two-forty-six point three-oh-five, everything went tits up. The crop failures became public knowledge and Kodos rounded up half the colony. We weren't on the list but Hoshi knew something was up. Me, being me, decided that I was going to do… something even though I had no idea what. Hoshi… she told me not to go."

"You didn't listen."

"No. I got to the main square and stayed out of sight but I heard it; Kodos' declaration. 'Your continued existence represents a threat to the well-being of society. Your lives mean slow death to the more valued members of the colony. Therefore, I have no alternative but to sentence you to death.' I couldn't believe that the man who was supposed to lead and protect us just ordered the deaths of thousands of people. Including children." Jim downed the drink in her hands and sat the tumbler on the table next to her.

"What happened?"

"One of the kids from my class was pulling the little ones out of the way… then he just dropped… projectile round to the head. I don't know what came over me but I grabbed the kids and got them away. We went back to Hoshi's and I hid them in the basement. We were okay for about a week… then Kodos' men came. I managed to get them out the house and sent them to this cave that the older kids used to hang out in with all the food we had. The enforcers dumped me, Hoshi and Takashi, her husband, in front of Kodos. He gave us some crap about the betterment of the colony before he executed Takashi. He tried to get us to tell him where the kids were but Hoshi didn't say anything, she just glared at him as he shot her. Then he turned the weapon on me."

"And yet, you are here," he said.

"I talked him out of killing me. Reminded him just who I was. George Kirk's daughter. A bargaining chip with Starfleet and the Federation… hell, even the Romulans. He could ask for anything and they'd give it to him, it's why he left me alive to begin with."

"Starfleet would not have negotiated for you," Sybok said quietly.

"I know. Protocol," she shrugged. "But Kodos stopped to think about it just long enough for me to stab him in the chest with the combat knife that Takashi always had in a sheath on his leg. Old man was a MACO… commando through and through. That knife is one of the handful of things I managed to hold on to."

"Kodos' followers could've killed you."

"Their families were starving just the same as everybody else. As soon as I reminded them of that, they sent up the distress signal," Jim sighed. "It's all redacted from my file, of course. Medical records are sealed and I was never fully identified. Starfleet let me leave before anyone, save Pike who was on the ship that rescued us, could figure out who I was. Last thing I wanted was more pity and the last thing they needed was the bad press. I bounced around, found my brother, went to college, reunited with Pike. You know the rest." Jim watched for a few minutes as his brain processed the information.

"You are aware that this does not change how I see you," he told her.

"I'm a mess, Sy."

"We all have our burdens to bear."

"I don't want my burdens to bear on you," she admitted. It wasn't just Tarsus; it was everything that came with being her father's daughter.

"And if I wish to carry those burdens with you?"

"I think you'll have your hands full dealing with your people freaking out that you have taken up with a Human. Not that any of them will be too shocked. You're more like Sarek than either of you care to acknowledge."

"I am a Vulcan in love with a Human woman and I will not apologize for it."

"You love me?"

"I do."

"Why? I'm…"

"Wonderful. Brilliant. Beautiful. I spend my days waiting for the moment I can see you or be with you. When we part… it's the worst moment of any day." Sybok took her hands in his own. "You must know that I set you apart."

She did know. Jim knew he'd drop everything if she needed him. That he'd sit up and listen to her rant about anything that bothered her. That's what worried her.

"You are not used to someone caring about your well-being. You are used to taking care of yourself. As unaffected as you strive to appear, it hurts you; the thought that you may be alone for the rest of your time in this universe. Though, as much as it bothers you, the alternative of being with someone scares you even more because everyone you've ever tried to rely on, with the exception of Captain Pike and Doctor McCoy, abandoned you in some manner."

"You got all that from reading my mind?"

"No. From the look in your eyes."

"They say all that?" Jim asked.

"That and more," he told her. "You care about me, you may even love me, but you don't want to. Because you're right, you and I together is not simple. It may never be simple but you want it. You want it more than anything you've ever wanted and it's shaken you to your core. The question you must now ask yourself is this; are you willing to let what you want slip away because that's the easy route or are you willing to fight for me like I'm willing to fight for you?"

Jim could taste the tension in the room. The slight buzz she had from the bourbon has completely replaced by a whole different kind of intoxication. Even without his natural telepathic ability, Sybok had this way of seeing straight to her soul and the realization that she was -metaphorically- laid bare in front of him scared her but it also excited her and even calmed her.

She contemplated him and realized that, aside from his step-mother, she was the only person that knew the real Sybok. She's the person he saves that distractingly beautiful smile for. She's the one who hears him hum to himself while he reads. She's the person who gets to run her fingers though his hair. The one who sees him wearing jeans and t-shirts just because he can. He tells her everything he's thinking and wants her honest opinion about it, even if she doesn't agree with him. To everyone else, he was this repressed Vulcan who works for his father, to Jim, he was the person who would do anything to make her smile. She didn't even realize how much she needed that until this moment. How much she needed him.

"I have this habit of pushing people away," she told him. "Figured if everyone else was gone, no point in letting anyone get close."

"I know."

"And I'm cranky without caffeine."

"I know that as well," Sybok smiled.

"We're gonna draw a lot of attention," Jim sighed.

"Given who we are, it's expected," he said and she could see the amusement on his face.

"I can't promise you that I'll be perfect."

"Good. I don't want perfect. I want you," Sybok told her before he smiled. "Please tell me that this dialogue has a purpose."

"Just pointing some things out before…" she paused. "I have no idea what I'm doing but I would like to try. You know… I would like us to try... Whatever that means."

Jim expected Sybok to say something but he didn't. A slow smile formed on his lips before he leaned forward and gently pressed them against hers. The kiss was sweet and tender and it seemed at odds with the strength she knew he possessed. Jim let out a small gasp and Sybok deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue along her lower lip before slipping inside her mouth. She moved forward as one of his hands pulled her to the edge of the couch and they both went toppling to the floor. Fortunately, they missed hitting any of Pike's furniture.

"Oh my God," Jim laughed against his chest.

"I may have made a slight miscalculation," Sybok chuckled.

"Can't help it if you're distracted."

"You may distract me at your leisure, k'diwa."

"Now, that's a Vulcan word I've never heard before. What's it mean?" she asked.

"K'diwa is the shortened version of k'hat'n'dlawa, which means 'one who is half of my heart and soul in its deepest sense' but has become uncommon due to its emotional connotation. The modern use of k'diwa is best associated with the Human word 'beloved'."

"You Vulcans have some very illogical words."

"We do indeed," he smiled.

"So… what do we do now?" Jim asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Now, I get to take you on an actual outing."

"But I like you making me dinner and having picnics in Amanda's garden."

"That will not end. I am simply contemplating other activities we can enjoy together."

"You're such a charmer."


	8. Chapter 8

"So much for taking it slow," Bones said when she got around to telling him, Gaila and even Uhura that she and Sybok were officially together.

"Considering we met months ago and we've been hanging out for weeks, we were slow. And you got no room to talk. You spent the night with our favorite captain," Jim said, giving Bones a look across their shared room.

"How could you possibly know that?" her best friend asked, his hazel eyes widening.

"Pheromones," Gaila smiled.

"Hickey," Uhura said.

"Deodorant," Jim added.

"Hey, I'm wearing deodorant," the doctor told her.

"Yea, Pike's deodorant," the tactician smiled. "You have fun?"

"As a matter of fact, I did," the southerner said, a slight blush coloring his ears.

"Is Bones being bashful?" Jim asked.

"I think he is," Gaila teased. "What's the good captain like behind closed doors?"

"Not telling you. Why don't we ask Jim about her boyfriend?" Bones said in an attempt to shift the conversation.

"You first, McCoy," Uhura said.

"I don't kiss and tell," he chuckled.

"So there was kissing," Gaila smiled.

"There was a helluva lot more than that," Jim said. She lived with Bones so she knew when something with was different. "You got laid and you two weren't gentle about it at all."

"How do you know that?" Uhura asked as they all gave her a look.

Jim smiled, "The way he's careful with his arm means he hit his shoulder on something. There's a slight discoloration on his wrist that'll be finger marks when it darkens. He's eaten twice as much food today than he usually does, which means he's trying to replace lost calories. And the change his stance and stride indicate that he got fucked six ways from Sunday. I bet it was good too. I spar with Pike all the time, I know he's got moves."

"It was," Bones sighed. "Your turn."

"I have nothing to tell," Jim shrugged.

"I call bullshit, kid," her best friend said. "He went up to Chris' cabin looking for you. Are you telling us that you didn't use the alone time to have some fun?"

"Unlike some people, we have self-control," the blonde chuckled.

"So nothing happened?" Gaila shook her head. "You're hopeless."

"We had some stuff to talk about but we did make out a lot," Jim shrugged. "Which reminds me; Uhura, the hand touching…"

"You get tingles down your spine too?" Uhura asked.

"Oh my God, yes. It's not just me?" Jim asked.

"Nope," Uhura chuckled. "Hey, does he like your neck?"

"Uh huh. I don't know what the fascination is with the spot behind my ear… but I'm not complaining. Spock too?" Jim smiled. Uhura nodded and the two of them burst into laughter. It was a bit silly that Jim and her favorite frienemy found themselves dating a pair of brothers. "Are you going to this winter holiday thing at the embassy in six weeks?"

"Depends on if Spock actually decides to go. We might have to do an official family dinner first," Uhura shrugged.

"Because of that stuff with his dad?" Jim asked.

"Yes. Maybe you can ask Sybok to say something to him or both of them," the linguist suggested.

Jim nodded, "I'll mention it."

"Are they having girl talk?" Gaila asked Bones.

"I think that's what just happened," he chuckled. "I'm more concerned about the fact that Uhura is with an officer and none of you bothered to tell me."

"Wasn't for me to tell," Jim said. Bones was just as pissed about the whole Jim/Pike rumor as she was, so Uhura was in a little bit of trouble.

"Me neither. Sorry, Ny," Gaila chuckled, "you're on your own."

* * *

"Where are we?" Jim asked as she looked around.

"Somewhere you should've seen years ago," Sybok told her.

"That didn't answer my question," she pointed out.

"Kyoto."

"Japan?" Jim asked. Sybok gave her a nod. "Why?"

"As I have already told you, there is something you need to see," he smiled.

"I'm not gonna like this, am I?"

"You may, you may not."

"You're cryptic today," she said as they walked, her arm around his.

"I don't know how accepting you will be of what I'm about to show you but I think it's necessary," Sybok admitted.

"You could just tell me and save the surprise."

"But you like surprises."

"I like good surprises."

He smiled, "I think that this would qualify."

They continued their walk in silence. Jim was trying to figure out why he would bring her to Japan, of all places, when it hit her. "You found it?"

"Yes."

"How?" she asked as the pair entered the large cemetery.

"After you told me about what happened to you, I asked my father if he knew anyone from Enterprise or the Endeavor. The next day, I received a message from Rear Admiral Phlox, who served on both. His is currently the commanding officer of the Walter Reed Medical Facility."

"Used to be a U.S. Army hospital back in the day, then it merged with Bethesda Naval Medical Center. It's had some more changes since but Earth Starfleet took it over before the NX-oh-one went out. Admiral Phlox told you were to look?"

"I did one better than that," a voice said from ahead of them. Jim looked up and saw the face of a man she'd only seen in holos.

"He told me that he would meet us here," Sybok offered her a small smile as they approached the Denobulan. "I will give you some time." He pressed a kiss against her temple and left her with Hoshi's old friend.

"Well, look at you," Phlox said. "Hoshi said you were this little thing but I suppose eleven years ages us all a little."

"Unless you're Vulcan, sir," Jim smiled.

"That's true, all that dark hair just goes gray. And none of this 'sir' business, I've been looking for you for a decade," the admiral told her. "Wait until I tell Johnathan and Malcolm that you were right under their noses. Starfleet Academy Command College. I wonder how many times your name has crossed their desks."

"What?" she asked, a tiny bit confused. Admirals Archer and Reed were looking for her but not her?

"Did you honestly think that we didn't know Hoshi took you in?" Phlox asked. Jim's only reply was a shrug. "She never told us who you were, said it was to protect you and we accepted it as enough of an answer. When we were notified of her death, we asked about you but the officers said your records were missing and you had disappeared. The only thing they would give us was your first initial. Since you spent more than a year with Hoshi and Takashi, we all knew that it was gonna be near impossible to track you down. Didn't stop us from looking but you left us nothing to go on."

"I had good teachers," Jim smiled.

"Indeed you did," he gave her a big, and slightly creepy, Denobulan smile. "I must've talked to a hundred blonde, blue-eyed girls your age who's names stated with 'J' looking for you."

"Why?"

"Because Hoshi was family and so are you," Phlox smiled.

"I don't have family. I mean, I have a brother but we've never really been close. I didn't know much about my mom before she died either. I have a best friend and a mentor but it's kinda always been me against the universe."

"Not anymore. I can't speak for everyone else but you got me. And you got tall, Vulcan and handsome over there. That's a start."

"I suppose it is. What are we doing here?"

"Well, the black stone behind me is the Sato-Kimura grave. I thought, maybe, you'd want to see it."

"I would," she nodded as the tears she was trying to hold spilled over. Jim knew that the Japanese custom was for Hoshi and Takashi to be cremated and buried together but she never knew where they were buried, or if they were even buried, since the practice wasn't that common on Earth anymore. Her mother was beamed into space and there wasn't a body for George.

Phlox offered her an arm and Jim took it. She wasn't entirely sure which one of them needed the comfort more. Hoshi loved Phlox like a big brother and Jim could see in his eyes that he loved Hoshi too.

* * *

"Should I even bother asking how you knew I needed that?" Jim asked Sybok when they were back at the Vulcan Embassy.

"I didn't read your mind, if that's what you're thinking. I don't know how I'd feel if I didn't know where my mother's katra was. Yes, Winona Kirk was your mother but you've admitted that you never had much of a relationship with her, she saw too much of your father in you for her own comfort and she merely tolerated your presence. Lieutenant Commander Sato was, for all intents and purposes, your mother. You needed to know where she was buried."

"Thank you," she whispered against his neck.

"Your thanks are welcome but unnecessary," he told her.

"Are you sure about that?" Jim asked as she slid one of her hands under his shirt and ran her fingers along the skin at his waistband. "Who knows what a grateful girl might do?"

"I'm sure that you are going to tell me."

"Why would I tell you? Showing you is much more interesting," she pointed out.

"I can't," Sybok told her with a sigh.

"O… kay," Jim said before she leaned away from him.

"Don't do that." Sybok gently grabbed her arm before she was out of reach. "It has nothing to do with you." She gave him a nod, the feeling of rejection slowly creeping its way into her head. "Stop that thought. There are some things that you need to know if we're going to be intimate with each other."

"Is this where you tell me about a bunch of Vulcan stuff I'm not really supposed to know?"

"Yes. And some things about me that I want you to know."

"Alright," she sighed.

"What do you know of pon farr?" he asked.

"Nothing."

"Every seven years after a Vulcan is approximately twenty Earth years old, we go through pon farr, the time of mating. Control over ourselves and our emotions is stripped from us, culminating in the plak tow, blood fever. The only way to describe it is a burning. Like a fire from the inside out," Sybok told her. "If pon farr isn't sated in eight days, it will kill you."

"And I thought my puberty sucked," Jim chuckled, earning a small smile from Sybok. "How do you not die?"

"Sex, fighting or deep meditation," he said. "The easiest way is sex with your intended mate. You go to Vulcan, if you can, you do a ceremony, the koon-ut-kal-if-fee."

"Marriage or challenge?"

"Yes. Kal-if-farr, you get married and you consummate, everyone wins. If the female wishes, she could call kal-if-fee, the challenge. It's a fight, often to the death but not always. The female is free to choose her champion, including herself, the winner gets to choose what happens but the blood fever goes away."

"That's what happened with your betrothed?" she asked.

"During my first pon farr, yes. She championed for herself. I didn't want to fight her but I did. I won and I gave her the only thing she's ever asked of me, to be free."

"So, what about your other pon farr… farrs?"

"Two in total. The second was not to my liking. I spent three days in deep meditation before it subsided. I don't want to do that again."

"When's the next one?"

"Soon. I wanted to warn you. Since I embrace my emotions, my pon farr isn't noticeable to anyone other than myself until I'm nearing plak tow."

"If you don't have sex, meditate or beat the crap out of someone, you'll die?"

"Yes but…"

"Why don't I just do it?" Jim asked. That seemed simple enough.

"During consummation there's a telepathic mating bond. The urge to connect is nearly impossible to ignore. By Vulcan custom, it would equate to marriage. An elder would verify the bond and the pair would be legally married."

"Maybe I was offering to fight you," she chuckled.

"You think I have that much control?" Sybok asked as he shifted them both on the couch. Jim found herself on her back looking up at him. "You think I can be that close to you in my blood fever and not ravish you? I can barely control myself as it is."

"Control is overrated," Jim muttered before she leaned up and pressed kisses against the underside of his jaw.

"Jim," he breathed. Her hands had gone back to caressing the skin under his shirt.

"Yes?" she whispered against this spot on his neck that she suddenly found interesting, pulling a sharp hiss out of him when she gave him a playful nip.

"Not in here, k'diwa," Sybok said, love and lust swirling around in his eyes. "And sadly, not today." He pulled them both upright just as someone knocked on the door to his study.

"Opidsu Sybok, the ambassador has requested your presence," the aide said as he walked in, not bothering to wait for Sybok to acknowledge him.

"I'm on my way," Sybok said and the other Vulcan left just as quickly as he arrived. "My apologies, Jim."

"It's okay. Go help people, it's what you do. I'll head back to the academy and get a head start on my lesson plans for next week."

"I will make it up to you," he said as he held her face gently in his strong hands.

Jim pressed a soft kiss against his lips, "I know."


	9. Chapter 9

"There is no need to be nervous," Sybok whispered.

"Easy for you to say, you can't actually meet my parents," Jim sighed. Neither could she, for that matter.

"I would if I could," he smiled. "There is still no need to worry. You have already met Sarek and Amanda."

"I met the ambassador as a cadet trying to understand his job, not as his son's… girlfriend."

"You will be fine, I promise," Sybok pressed a soft kiss against her lips. She melted against him and this calm fell over her.

"You don't play fair," she whispered.

"Indeed, I do not," he winked. "Come. I believe my brother has arrived with his date."

"Nyota. You probably saw her on Vulcan."

"All I saw was you," Sybok smiled as he led her to a different room. She's gonna kill him… and kiss him. Mostly kiss him. He chuckled, "I can hear that."

"That's your problem," Jim smiled. 'I can do this, I can do this,' she thought to herself.

Give her a ship and point at someone for her to fight with and she's perfectly fine, calm even, but parents, though she's met them before, weren't her forte. Jim had some hope that the fact that Uhura and Spock were also here in the same situation would help. Then she saw Sarek's younger son. Taller than his brother by an inch or so with a slim build and piercing eyes, Lieutenant Commander Spock looked like a younger version of his father.

'He's a hybrid?' she asked in her head, not sure if Sybok could hear her but figured it was worth a shot. He smiled and gave her a nod. 'But he's so… Vulcan.'

"I know," Sybok said. "Would you like to meet him?"

"Sure," Jim shrugged. Not like they weren't gonna have to do this eventually.

"Hey, Jim," Uhura said with a smile.

"Nyota," Jim smiled back, she couldn't help herself. It took years to get Uhura to use her first name and for Jim to be allowed to use Uhura's. That in itself was a win, she could go home now. "This is Sybok."

" _Hello, most honorable, Lord_ _Sybok_ ," Uhura said in Vulcan with a smile.

"Na habari yako, Nyota," Sybok replied.

"What language was that?" Jim asked.

"It was Swahili," Spock said. "My brother simply returned Nyota's greeting. I am Spock."

"Jim Kirk. You uh… you graded one of my ATT exams a little over a year ago," Jim smiled.

"ATT?" Sybok asked.

"Advanced Tactical Training. It is an invitation only tactical and intelligence course, all officers and cadets considered for admission must receive a recommendation from a superior officer. Fifty-six point three-four percent of those who accept an invitation fail to successfully complete the training. Not only did Miss Kirk pass at the top of her class, she and the members of her team maintain the record for the highest score in the Tanika Station examination. An examination of which I was the programmer."

"What did you do?" Uhura asked.

"Can't tell you. When you get accepted to ATT, you're sworn to secrecy," Jim smiled. "Even if you wash out, you can't talk about it."

"The first rule of fight club?" Uhura smiled, referencing a really old movie.

"Nobody talks about fight club," Jim chuckled.

"Whatever it was, it must've been good if you impressed my brother," Sybok smiled.

"I did not say I was impressed," Spock said.

"No, Jim's score did. It's still the record," the older Vulcan pointed out.

Amanda walked into the room and smiled, "Can you kids stop talking shop long enough to have dinner?"

* * *

"Your thoughts, Miss Kirk?" Sarek asked. Dinner was pleasant enough and she followed the conversation but, for the most part, she got to lay low. That was, until now.

"I think that it's illogical to banish anyone because they have different beliefs. It's just as bad a racism. 'You're not like us so leave'," Jim answered honestly. Talking about Surak's teachings and logic really wasn't how she wanted to spend her night but anything was better than talking about her family.

"Do you not agree that the dissidents could pose a threat?" Spock asked, glaring at his brother as he did.

"Only if you don't already consider everyone a threat. Take the Romulans, for example, they fight with everyone who isn't them; why? What do they have to gain, some space? They fight with us as a reminder that they are superior," Jim said.

"You find the Romulans superior?" Sarek asked.

"I find that, with the right leadership and motivation, they have the potential to be," she sighed.

"They are illogical," Spock told her.

"That depends whose logic you're using. You're a scientist, Commander, your logic is black and white. One and one is two. Two and two is four. I'm tactician, my logic comes in shades of gray. One and one is two but maybe I can find a way to make it three. I'm the type of person to keep fighting even if I got nothing left but, as a scientist, you see it as a futile act to attempt to utilize depleted resources. Neither of us is wrong, we're just different," Jim smiled. "There's no logical reason why multiple viewpoints can't coexist."

* * *

"Where are we going?" Jim asked Sybok as he pulled her through the embassy without giving her an answer. "Did I do something wrong or piss your dad off? I'm sorry. Sometimes I open my mouth and I can't stop. But you know that." Still, he said nothing. "Seriously, Sy, tell me what's up. Are you mad at me or something?"

"No," Sybok answered as he pulled her into a room. Jim didn't get opportunity to check it out since he pressed her against the door and kissed her like he'd never get enough. His hands were everywhere; resting on her hips, sliding along the outsides of her thighs, holding her waist, gliding over her ribs. "Do you know how many people can hold their own with my brother?"

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and say; not many," she sighed as his lips moved to her throat. Spock was a tough cookie if she ever saw one.

"Not many," he whispered against her skin.

"If I had known that arguing with your brother was gonna get you all hot and bothered, I would've done it sooner," Jim chuckled. "I may have to do it again."

"You will not hear an argument from me," Sybok smiled but she had the feeling that he was only half paying attention to the words she was saying. "This is a beautiful dress and you look beautiful in it but it is in the way."

"In the way of what?" she asked with a playful smile.

"You. I need to see you," he told her. Their eyes met and she could feel the anticipation buzzing under her skin. He shifted just a little and Jim could feel his erection press against her hip.

"Okay," Jim whispered and gave him a little nudge. Sybok walked backwards until he hit the edge of his bed and sat down. Her eyes did a quick scan of the room out of habit before she reached for the closure of her dress and let the dress pool at her feet, her undergarments quickly followed.

He whispered something to himself in Vulcan before his eyes found hers in the dimly lit room, "You are the most extraordinary thing I have ever seen."

"I highly doubt that," she muttered and tried to look anywhere but at him.

"Don't," Sybok told her. "I mean what I say. You are extraordinary."

"Syb…" Jim never got the rest of his name out, his mouth was fused with hers so fast that it was almost funny. Almost.

Jim needed, _needed,_ to get him out of these clothes, every inch of her skin screaming to be in contact with his. She fumbled a little with his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders, while his hands unfastened his pants. Jim couldn't help but to devour him with her eyes. He was a work of art. Like stick him in a museum somewhere and take holos kind of art.

"I'll be sure to notify the appropriate people of your thoughts," he whispered against her collarbone. "Later."

"Fine with me," Jim muttered as she leaned in close and pressed her mouth against the hollow at the base of his neck. Like she expected, Sybok let out a groan and pulled her tighter against his body.

"Jim."

Even though Sybok embraces his emotions, he usually has some measure of control over himself. Control that was slipping away in front of her… because of her. She'd never been so turned-on in her life, Jim wanted him so bad she could taste it on her tongue; insatiable and demanding desire.

"I… We… Bed, now," she managed to force the words out. The only answer she got from Sybok was a nod as he pulled her onto the bed.

"Jim," Sybok whispered as he stretched over her, his weight balanced on one elbow.

"Please," Jim practically begged, she felt like she was going to crawl out of her skin if he didn't do something in the next half a second. She felt the warm, hard press of him at her entrance and their eyes locked. Sybok whispered litany of random -Vulcan and Standard- terms of endearment as he slid inside her. "Oh my God. Oh my God. _Oh my God_."

He kissed his way along her neck and to her lips as they moved together. The feeling of his body inside hers was almost too much, it was just too good. Jim rocked with him, closing her eyes and getting lost in this moment. Sybok was so heavy and male and she loved the way he always made her feel small and safe and loved. The tension rose inside her and her hips instinctively rose to him, trying to bring him in deeper. Sybok shifted just a little, giving her just what she needed.

"Sy."

"I love you," he whispered against her ear. "I love you." Jim tensed at the words and her body tightened around him.

She ran a hand through his hair, gripping at the roots and bringing their lips together again. Her grip weakened as her climax crept up, taking control of her mind. She couldn't think of anything other than Sybok. Jim needed him in a way that made absolutely no sense and perfect sense all at the same time.

"Sy, please."

"Are you certain?"

"You know that I am."

He studied her for a moment before he pressed his forehead against hers. She could feel his hand on her face but she wasn't focused on it, just him. "Our minds, separate and together."

Jim felt the brush of his mind against her own. Like he said, it was there but not there. The sensation made her cry out. Sybok held nothing from her and she could see how much he loved her, it fell around her like those fluffy snowflakes she remembers from her childhood, blanketing everything in this beautiful whiteness.

It was too much; being joined with him mind, body and soul. Her orgasm slammed into her like a starship jumping into warp. Jim clung to him as every nerve in her body went into overdrive, her nails digging into his skin. She looked at him as he removed his hand from her psi points, his eyes locking with hers again.

"James…" Sybok tried to hang on but he was just as gone as she was. His whole body went taunt as his own orgasm hit. Other than her name, he stopped talking in Standard and went full Vulcan on her, his voice raspy.

For a long moment, they lay tangled around each other in silence, neither of them ready to move. He brushed her hair out of her face and pressed a soft kiss against her cheek, then her nose, then each of her eyelids before peppering her face with kisses. It was such a Human gesture that it caused her to giggle.

"Are you alright?"

"Never better," Jim smiled up at him. "Are you alright?"

"I am better than alright, k'diwa," he told her. Jim gave him a lazy smile. "You are exhausted."

"Your fault," she mumbled.

"Do not expect me to apologize," Sybok smiled before he carefully pulled away from her, Jim immediately felt the loss of his body pressed against hers. He unstrapped her shoes, which she forgot she was even wearing, before tossing them on the floor and pulling a blanket up over them both. She yawned as he wrapped an arm around her waist. Jim gave herself a mental once over, she was a mess of sweat and everything else that comes from a good night but she didn't want to move. "Shower in the morning. For now, just sleep, k'diwa."

"M'kay," she said as she pressed herself against his side, snuggling as close as he'd let her, which was pretty damn close. "Hey, Sy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you too," Jim whispered, her brain remembering that he said it at some point and she didn't say it back.

"I was quite aware of that before you were. Now sleep."

* * *

AN: I know that there are some who think mind melds during sex are an automatic marriage bond but from everything I've read, the marriage bond seems to a purposeful action, even in pon farr. Jim will ask Sybok about it in the next chapter.


	10. Chapter 10

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Jim said with a yawn. When she opened her eyes, Sybok's gaze was on her.

"Because you are beautiful," he smiled.

"I'm a mess," she chuckled.

"Which was my doing," Sybok chuckled, pleased with himself.

"True. Don't you have better things to do then stare at me?"

"No. It's the most important thing on my agenda, always is," he told her. Jim tried not to swoon but it was a lost cause. "How do you feel?"

"Rested. I can't even remember the last time I had a good night's sleep. I could probably do with a shower and some food. Food would be good," she chuckled as she stretched out on the bed, parts of her body protesting the movement.

"Why don't you take a shower and I will make you something to eat," Sybok offered. That's when she realized that he was already dressed, meaning he took a shower sometime while she was sleeping. "You can even snoop around my room while I'm gone."

"Not like I'd find anything in here. All the good stuff is in your personal study," Jim pointed out.

"You know me so well," he kissed a trail along her arm and over her shoulder.

"I thought you were going to make food," she whispered as he nuzzled her neck.

"I'll get to it."

"Sichan Tegay Sybok," Jim said.

"Nice try," he chuckled. "S'chn T'gai."

"Sechn Tagai Sybok?"

"Better but no. You'll get it eventually. It took Amanda years."

"Yea, well… Oh, God. Amanda and everyone else… did they hear us?" she asked.

"I doubt Amanda or Nyota heard you but I can assume my brother did. I heard them," Sybok smiled. Amusement that wasn't hers nudged at her brain.

"This isn't funny…" Jim thought about it for a second. "Are we bonded?"

"It's a little funny. And no, we're not bonded in the sense you're thinking."

"What am I thinking?"

"That we're married. We're not. We could be if it's what you wanted," he smirked.

"Okay, please tell me that that wasn't koon-ut-so'lik," she said. Jim didn't even want to consider the idea that he just gave her a sideways proposal.

"It was not. You should see your face," Sybok chuckled.

"You know what, go away. Go… cook or something," Jim said, giving him a push. There wasn't much force behind it but he got the idea.

"Yes, k'diwa," he chuckled before giving her a soft kiss. "My most comfortable clothing is on the left side of the closet."

"And if I want to wear nothing?"

"You can wear nothing if you wish. It just means I will have to bring you food. Whether or not you get the opportunity to eat it is another matter."

* * *

"Good morning, Miss Kirk," Uhura said when Jim joined her and Amanda in the smaller dining area.

"Miss Uhura," Jim chuckled. She looked the other cadet over, Uhura was wearing an over-sized Vulcan garment that probably belonged to Spock, her hair was down and she wasn't wearing any make up. "Nice night?"

"It was. Yours?" Uhura smiled, doing her own once over of Jim. The blonde was in a pair of lounge pants and a t-shirt, both too big for her slim but toned frame.

"Very nice," Jim smiled as she took a seat next to the other cadet. "Where are the boys?"

"In the kitchen," Amanda told her.

"Probably comparing notes," Uhura chuckled.

"Doubt it," Jim said. "Sy would but I don't think Spock would."

"You would be right," Sybok said as he walked into the room and handed her a cup of coffee; splash of cream and no sugar, just the way she likes it. "I'm not shy but Spock, like most of our kind, tends not to talk about his personal relationships. At least, not to anyone aside from his mother."

"What about you? Do you share?" Uhura asked.

"If such an opportunity presented itself, I would only share what Jim feels comfortable with me sharing. Since she tends to keep her most personal self to herself, with a few exceptions, I doubt it would be much," he smiled.

"And you would be right," Jim chuckled.

"I know," Sybok winked.

"You're lucky you're hot," Jim rolled her eyes.

"I know that too," he chuckled.

Jim gave him a look, "I thought you were making breakfast."

"Spock beat me to it and kicked me out of the kitchen," Sybok smiled. "It's okay, means I get to stay with all the pretty girls."

"You're completely Vulcan?" Uhura asked. Jim and Amanda shared a knowing look.

"I am," he told her. "I'm not as rigid about my emotions as others are."

"Wouldn't you be ktorr skann?" Uhura asked.

"As you can see, I still have a family and I have not been banished from Vulcan. I have not abandoned logic, I simply believe, like Jim said last night, that multiple viewpoints can coexist. I decide to be logical or emotional depending upon the situation, the same as you. Though, I usually save my emotions for people I like," Sybok smiled. Uhura cast a longing glance towards the kitchen. "He hides them well but his emotions are very real. You see them all the time, just not in ways you are yet accustom."

"You could always say something about me," Amanda chuckled. "That gets a reaction out of him."

"I wouldn't," he said. "Spock's the only person I know who could make 'live long and prosper' sound like a curse."

"He didn't," Jim said.

"He did," Sybok and Amanda said in unison.

"Can you please discontinue this conversation," Spock said as he entered the room balancing three plates in two hands.

"Don't be touchy about your feelings, Spock," Sybok told his brother.

"We are not all as carefree as you are, brother," the younger Vulcan said.

"He's not that carefree. He puts up a good front though," Jim said. Sybok gave her a look. "What? I pay attention."

"I'm aware," Sybok smiled. "I'm not the only person in this room who puts on a good show."

"Shh, Uhura's here and I can't let it get out that I'm not really a dumb blonde coasting on my dead daddy's name," Jim smirked.

"Okay," Uhura looked her. "Tell the real story."

"I already have a master's. The one I'm working on now is my second," the blonde said.

"Really?" Uhura asked. "In what?"

"Ethical philosophy from Tycho City University," Jim answered.

"You went to college on Luna?" the linguist asked.

"Yep. It was close enough to beam to Earth if I felt like it but so random that nobody bothered to look for me there. Not that anyone other than the press ever bothered."

* * *

"Why are you ruining my buzz?" Jim asked Pike.

"You shouldn't be drinking during the day, kid. People will talk," he chuckled.

"People already talk and I wasn't drinking. I was talking about the buzz I got from spending the weekend with my boyfriend. You should know exactly what buzz I'm talking about," she smirked.

"You know? Who am I kidding, you know every damn thing," the captain smiled.

"About time someone acknowledged the depth of my knowledge," Jim chuckled. "You're hot when you smile, by the way."

"Thanks for your opinion, Miss Kirk."

"I got plenty if you want to hear it."

"Depends on what 'it' is," Pike said.

"You and Bonesy."

"Go on."

"I've known you a long time, Chris. You know you're the closest thing I've ever had to having a dad. Bones is my best friend and he was more of a mess than I was, I don't have to tell you that. Me and him… we're like platonic soulmates. As much as I love you, I feel that it's my duty to warn you. Break my Bones and I'll break yours."

"If anyone else was sitting across from me, I'd string 'em up," he chuckled.

"I know you wouldn't hurt him on purpose but it's my job to have his back. If it makes you feel better, I had a similar conversation with him."

"You gave your best friend a shovel talk over me?"

"Somebody had to and he listens to me, even though he pretends not to."

"I didn't know you cared," Pike smiled.

"You're a crappy liar today," Jim chuckled. "So, why won't I get the posting on the Republic when I graduate?"

"Captain Bannock was all for it. Your work on the Axanar Peace Mission was invaluable..."

"But?"

"Someone else beat him to the punch," he said.

"Who?" Jim was sure she'd remember if she agreed to serve on another ship.

"Me," Pike smiled and handed her a PADD. "I'm putting together the best team for the Enterprise that I can and that includes you."

"The Enterprise? You want me to serve on the Enterprise?" she asked.

"Yes, I do. You are one of the top cadets in the graduating class. You got the skills. You got the determination…"

"You wanna keep an eye on me," Jim sighed.

"I would be lying if I said no to that. If I'm being completely honest, I think we'd both benefit from serving together. So, what do you say, Chief Tactical Officer and Intelligence Officer?"

"Are you nuts?" People already thought he showed her favoritism but this was just going to kick it up a notch. There will always be the question about her ability to do her job. Then again, being a Kirk meant she was going to have that question anyway, at least Pike trusted her enough to listen to her thoughts and opinions and let her work without micromanaging.

"No. Even though your file doesn't say it and we can't talk about it, I know what you can do. It's my ship, my choice."

"Who's the XO?"

"Lieutenant Commander Spock. Good guy. A bit cold," Pike shrugged.

"He's not that bad, just logical," she smiled.

"Oh, that's right, Sybok's his brother. You have to say nice stuff about him."

"No, I really don't," Jim chuckled. "I can't talk you out of this, can I?"

"I talked Leo into being a senior medical officer," he smiled.

"How the hell did you get him to agree to that?" she asked before she thought better of it. The smile on his face looked like the cat who caught the canary. "You know what, don't tell me. I don't want to know."

"No, kid, you don't," Pike chuckled.

"You know I can't stand any doctors other than Bones… well, him and Doctor Phlox but still."

"I know."

"I guess I don't have much choice," Jim sighed.

"You can take a posting on a remote outpost."

"No thanks. Enterprise it is."


	11. Chapter 11

"So, the guards let me into the building without the third degree I've gotten used to. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you, Opidsu Sybok?" Jim asked as she leaned against the doorframe to his official office.

"You may have been added to the frequent visitors list, Miss Kirk," he smiled from behind his console.

"Expecting me to be a frequent visitor?" she chuckled.

"You already are. I just updated the list. Would have done so sooner but other, more pleasant, things occupied my thoughts," Sybok said. "How was your day?"

"Oh, you know; the usual. Idiot first-years think they know every damn thing. They're gonna be in for it when they have to go on training cruises," Jim smiled as she sat in the chair across from him. "My first attempt at the Kobayashi Maru is tomorrow morning, that should be interesting. And I just found out that I get to defend my thesis on my birthday."

"Who decided that?"

"Just the way the timing fell since I finished early. I don't mind, it's an appropriate subject. Besides, I tend not to celebrate that day. Hoshi, Pike and Bones are the only people who ever bothered. The rest of the Federation will be honoring my father and his heroic sacrifice. Blah, blah, blah," she shrugged.

"You are not as unaffected as you appear, k'diwa."

"My father is dead, so there's that. I don't even have stories. You know, stuff that's not in his Starfleet file. Sam was only three when dad died, he doesn't remember much and mom never told us anything. That's the hardest part sometimes. Mourning the stuff I didn't have. Everyone always asks what it was like not having a dad. It was easy, I never knew what I was missing. Not having a mom… she was there but she wasn't and that's the part that burns. What was your mom like?"

"She was amazing. My mother used to tell the best stories. I remember lying awake at night and just listening to her spin these tales. I knew that she wasn't like other parents and that her stories were just for me. She taught me how to cook as well. I think that attributes to why I love it," Sybok smiled. "She would like you."

"I'm sure I would like her too."

* * *

"Donaldson, return fire," Jim ordered. The cadet's hands flew over the console but the Klingons were still kicking their asses. "Bones, I need…"

" _Simulation complete_ ," the disembodied voice of the computer alerted her. The damn thing rattled off an impressive, though failing, score.

"Fuck," she muttered as she left the fake USS Horizon bridge.

"Don't feel bad, Kirk," one of the cadets said. "Nobody beats this thing."

"That doesn't actually make me feel better," Jim sighed. "It's a giant cheat."

"That's the point," Donaldson said. "You can't win no matter what you do."

"You really want to be in an emergency with your commanding officer having that mind frame? 'We're dead anyway, why bother?' That seems ass backwards to me."

"Well, it's not like you can challenge the curriculum, Jim," Bones told her.

Jim honestly never considered the idea of calling the test into question but now that she was thinking about it, it wasn't a bad idea. She looked at her best friend, "Why can't I?"

"It's the curriculum," Bones said like it was obvious.

"Curriculum reviews and revisions happen all the time," Jim pointed out. "You're medical, you know that better than the rest of us."

"You want to call for a review of the Kobayashi Maru?" her best friend asked. She just shrugged. "You really are crazy."

"Come on, Bonesy. Don't tell me you just figured that out," she chuckled. "I don't like the idea of teaching our future captains to quit before they started. I mean, seriously, what's the point?"

"The purpose is to experience fear," Spock said as he and another instructor joined them. "Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain."

"The problem being, sir, that your test doesn't scare me… or anyone who's served in combat. You should have a look at my file, the parts that aren't redacted that is. That… computer program is nothing compared to the real thing," Jim said, holding his gaze. "I have every right to call it in to review, just the same as the rest of the curriculum."

"And I have every right to defend," the tall Vulcan told her.

Bones looked at Jim, then Spock, then back at Jim before he smiled, "I'm bringing popcorn to this one."

* * *

"You can come in, Jim," Sybok said from inside his bedroom. "You do not need to knock."

"People tell me I have an issue with boundaries. Well, people being Pike and Bones," she chuckled as she stepped into the room and sat her garment bag on the bed.

"They may have a point. However, I have nothing to hide from you. If it is mine, you are welcome to it, including space," he smiled as he stepped out of the closet, pulling on a teal and gold robe over a long dark bronze tunic. Jim gave him a long, lustful, look as she tried to determine the fastest way to get it all off. "Stop undressing me with your mind."

"I can't help it. I've never seen you in the robes before. It's a very good look."

" _Perhaps I will endeavor to wear them more often since you like them so_ ," Sybok told her in Vulcan.

" _Perhaps I will endeavor to take them off of you every time you do_ ," Jim replied as she slid her arms into the robe and around his waist.

"Your Vuhlkansu has improved," he smiled.

"Having someone who to practice with doesn't hurt," she chuckled.

"Using me for my language skills, k'diwa?"

Jim kissed the underside of his jaw, "Using you for all kinds of skills, my love."

"What am I to do with you?" Sybok sighed as he cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

"I have some ideas for that but we promised Amanda that we'd behave for her fancy party," she chuckled. "Which also means being nice to your brother."

"He was green when he got here. You really requested a review of the Kobayashi Maru?"

"I did. The whole thing just doesn't sit right with me."

"It's not because you can't beat it, is it?"

"Nobody can beat it. I'm sure it'll look like I'm just throwing a temper tantrum but that's not it."

"If you need my assistance…"

"I can fight my own battles, thank you very much," Jim smiled.

"I'm sure you can," he smiled. Sybok pressed a soft kiss against her lips and -reluctantly- extracted himself from her arms. "You should get dressed, I believe Nyota started hours ago."

"That's because she couldn't decide what to do with her hair," Jim smiled. "Go. I know there are things you need to do. Ny and I will come down together."

* * *

"You will unhand the lieutenant," an increasingly familiar voice said quietly from her left. Jim looked up and found her boyfriend's brother standing tall next to her. They were at the holiday party that Amanda throws at the embassy every year and a pushy ambassador's aide from a planet Jim couldn't pronounce grabbed her arm after she turned him down for a dance.

"This has nothing to you with you," the diplomat said in heavily accented Standard. Granted, Jim could take care of herself, she just didn't want to beat anyone up.

"As you are in the Vulcan Embassy, I feel it my duty to inform you that Vulcan custom states that it is not appropriate for a man to have in his arms a woman that is not his. The lieutenant is here as my brother's date, and as such, it would be distasteful for you to dance with her. Furthermore, she has already declined your offer. Now, unhand the lieutenant," Spock repeated. The ambassador gave Jim a look before letting her arm go and walking away.

"I'd say thanks but that would be illogical," Jim chuckled.

"Indeed," Spock told her. They stared at each other for a long moment. "Is your dislike of the Kobayashi Maru genuine or are you attempting to cause a rift between my brother and myself?"

"I don't like anything that says it's okay to give up before you try," she told him.

"This is a personal matter to you," he said.

"Of course it is. Just like it's personal to you," Jim pointed out.

"Can you two not argue with each other for one night?" Uhura asked with a smile as she ushered them to a quiet area in the large room.

"It appears not," Spock said.

"I'll try but no promises," Jim chuckled.

"You're both hopeless," Uhura sighed.

"They're not," Sybok said as he joined their little group. "Neither of them like these sort of things. Jim would rather have a drink with Doctor McCoy and Captain Pike while Spock would rather work on an experiment or program a computer system. They both promised Amanda that they would attend, just like I did. Bickering with each other is much more interesting than attempting to mingle with diplomats."

"You know," Jim smiled, "you just get me."

"What are you implying, Miss Kirk?" Sybok winked at her and could feel the heat creep up her spine. The idea to pull him down the hall and have her way with him for a few minutes was looking better and better. He leaned in close and whispered in her ear, "Stop thinking naughty thoughts at me."

"Can't help it," Jim whispered back.

"You two are incorrigible," Uhura smiled.

"We know," Jim and Sybok said in unison.

Jim smiled, "Gotta keep things interesting."


	12. Chapter 12

Jim had the feeling that she was set up when she stepped into the hallway and it was full of people. She was fortunate that her thesis defense was closed to everyone but that didn't stop people from practically rushing her when she left the room. Imagers took her holo and questions were shouted at her. Thankfully, she had tons of practice not letting people get to her but this was ridiculous.

"Okay, stop," she said. "Three questions." Jim pointed at Human man in front of her. "You."

"Any thoughts on today?" the man asked.

"The sun is out," Jim smiled, earning some chuckles. "I don't like talking about my father, if that's what you're asking. He was a good man and I can only hope that I make him proud." She pointed at an Andorian woman, "You."

"What were the results of your thesis defense?"

"I passed. I can officially say I have double master's degrees," Jim told everyone before she spotted a Deltan. "You get the last one."

"Are you seeing someone?" the beautiful bald woman asked.

"Yes. To protect his privacy, I won't talk about it," Jim answered. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have assignments to grade. And please remember, this is an educational campus, have some respect for my classmates and disperse."

* * *

"Hide me," Jim said as she walked into Sybok's office.

"Name the place and I'll take you there," he chuckled.

"I'm kidding, Sy… well mostly."

"I am not. If you wish to leave the area, I will take you," Sybok smiled before he stood up and walked around his desk. "You made the news feeds."

"Already?" she sighed as his arms wrapped around her. "They move fast. How'd I do?"

"Good. Very diplomatic even."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or not."

"It is a compliment. Happy birthday, k'diwa." Sybok pressed a kiss against her temple.

"I didn't know Vulcan's celebrated birthdays," Jim smiled.

"We don't. Humans do," he said.

"I don't," she told him. "I never really saw the point. It's just the anniversary of my father's death. Twenty-five years."

"You are here, that is reason enough for me to celebrate."

"Stop," Jim muttered, hiding her face against his shoulder.

"I will not. You are here and it is a wonderful thing. I dare anyone to tell me any different."

* * *

"What's wrong with you?" Bones asked at lunch a week and a half after her birthday.

"Nothing," Jim said, frowning down at her tray. Other than the fact that she hasn't talked to Sybok in three days, she was peachy. Except she wasn't. Jim's been agitated since she woke up the day before. Everything about the last two days frustrated her to no end. To make matters worse, she had a headache and the tremors and she felt like her blood was on fire.

"Sure doesn't look that way, kid," he said. "Do you need me to check you over?"

"I don't need you to do anything," she practically growled at him. Damn man was always in her face about something. It was really starting to get on her nerves.

"I'm just trying to help," her best friend told her.

"I don't need your help," Jim said, tugging at her collar. "I need to get out of this thing."

"Jim, are you okay?" Gaila asked as she and Uhura sat at the table.

"Would you all stop asking me that?" Jim glared at them.

"What the hell?" the Orion looked at Bones. His only response was a shrug.

"Does your skin crawl?" Uhura asked in a soothing voice. Jim gave her a nod. "And you feel warm?"

"Burning up," Jim muttered. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you," Uhura told her as she typed something into her communicator. "McCoy, comm Pike. Get someone to cover her class and have her excused for the rest of the day and tomorrow… maybe Monday too."

"What?" Bones asked. "Why?"

"Because she told you to," Jim groaned. "Why is it so hard for you to just do what you're told?"

"I can't tell you what's going on with her right now," Uhura said. "Just get her the time off, it's life or death."

Bones looked at her, "Uhura…"

"You are going to have to trust me, McCoy. Comm Pike. Jim, come on, we're gonna take a ride," Uhura said, taking Jim's hand.

"Ny, you know what's wrong with me?" Jim asked quietly as Uhura led her away from the shocked expressions on Bones and Gaila's faces.

"It's not you. I don't know how deep it goes but your connection to Sybok works as a two-way street. He needs you and you need him and it's causing a loop."

Jim's head wasn't exactly clear but she put it together as best as she could. "This, what I'm feeling, it's his pon farr?"

"Yes. You have to decide right now what you're going to do about it."

* * *

"Lieutenants, Opidsu Sybok is not receiving visitors. I am going to have to insist that you return at another time," one of the aides said to Jim and Uhura just inside the embassy residence.

"I need to see him," Jim partially cried. If people didn't get out of her way, she was going to throw punches now and worry about it later.

"You do not understand…" the aide tried.

"She does," Sarek's voice filled the hallway. Jim didn't even know he was on planet. "You feel him." The ambassador said, it wasn't a question so Jim didn't feel the need to respond. "I must warn you that you may be injured. My son has some control over himself but it is still a risk."

"I know," Jim nodded.

"Then you are also aware of the meaning of this time for my people?" Sarek asked.

"He told me. I know he probably wasn't supposed to but he did," she sighed.

"That is of no importance now. Given what you have been made aware of, you are still willing to join him?" the ambassador asked, no doubt trying to make sure she knew what she was getting into.

"I am," Jim told her. Marriage or no marriage, there was no way in hell she was going to sit back and let Sybok die. She might even kick his ass for not saying anything, could've saved them both the aggravation days ago.

"Very well. Come," Sarek said. She fell into step with him as he walked to Sybok's room. "If you have anything on your person that you wish to keep, I suggest removing it as it may be damaged."

It was a very Human thing for Sarek to tell her but she figured he's probably ruined something that belonged to Amanda. Jim shrugged off her jacket and kicked off her boots, tossing them into the bag that Uhura had her pack before they went to the embassy, the linguist also made Jim change out of her uniform.

"The rest isn't important," Jim said. She doesn't actually remember what she put on, she just knew that Sybok was on the other side of the door and she needed to get to him.

"If you in assistance, there will be a guard posted nearby. My wife and I will also be available," Sarek told her. Sybok is like five times stronger than her. She knew he'd never intentionally hurt her but she also knew that anyone could do anything when they weren't in control of their actions.

"I'll be back to check on you in a few days. I'll bring McCoy, he's gonna have questions and, as your doctor, he's gonna want answers from you before he'll be placated," Uhura chuckled.

"Thanks, Ny," Jim said before she practically ran into Sybok's room.

" _You should not be here_ ," Sybok whispered in Vulcan as soon as she pulled the door closed. He was sitting on the floor in a pair of sweatpants and nothing else, his hair was an adorable mess. If she had to guess, he tried meditating again but it wasn't working.

" _Where else should I be_?" she asked, dropping her bag just inside the door. Jim doesn't know how she managed not to lose her damn mind already. Her skin prickled with need for him.

" _I am not in control_ ," he told her. His eyes flickered up to meet hers and Jim could see the fire behind them. " _You should go_."

" _No. I am where I should be_ ," Jim said as she slowly walked towards him. " _You burn, Sybok. I feel it_."

" _You know not of what you speak_ ," Sybok said, his eyes never leaving her.

" _I do know_ ," she whispered as she dropped to her knees in front of him, her hands on his legs. " _This need… it consumes me_."

"Jim… I don't want to hurt you," he choked out in Standard.

"The only way you could hurt me is to send me away," Jim told him, reaching over to slide her fingers along his. " _Take that which is already yours_."

Sybok stared at her for what felt like forever then, like a switch flipped, he turned his hand, grabbed her wrist and yanked her onto his lap. As if on autopilot, Jim straddled him. Feeling his erection through his pants, she tugged at his pants before she wrapped her fingers around him. He made a sound in the back of his throat and his lips fused with hers in a drugging kiss that was all teeth and tongue, his hands shredding her dress with one pull.

He grabbed her hip with one hand and ripped her underwear off with the other. She didn't have time to focus on the sting against her skin as she sank down on him in one sharp thrust. Jim's whole body arched, the fire under her skin seemed to ignite as soon as their bodies were joined.

"Sy," she cried.

" _Mine. You are mine_ ," Sybok groaned.

" _Yes, yours_."

Jim tried to get herself some purchase as they moved together but she couldn't find anything. Even though she was on top, she was at his mercy. That should've scared her but it didn't, it excited her, thrilled her. His hands lifted her a little before he sank into her again. And again. The feeling of his body connected with hers did nothing to lessen her craving for him, it only seemed to intensify.

She held his face in her hands, the stubble from the last few days was rough on her palms. Sybok looked into her eyes and she could see the love, lust and a fair bit of possessiveness fueling that fire she saw, it took her breath away. Holding her gaze, he surged up again and the friction of his body against hers took over her senses. As much as he needed to claim her, she needed to be claimed by him. It was insanity in the best form.

"I am unworthy," he whispered.

"As am I. We will have to be unworthy together," she half-said and half-moaned, she couldn't help it. " _Must we wait any longer_?"

" _As it was in the dawn of our days, as it will be for all tomorrows. To you, my beloved, I consecrate all that I am_ ," Sybok recited in Vulcan against her throat. _  
_

" _From you I receive all that I am,_ " Jim replied. She doesn't know where the words came from, just that they sounded right. She had the feeling that Sybok may have been the reason for that.

" _As it was in the beginning, so shall it be now."_

" _Two bodies, one mind."_

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Sybok joined their minds. The madness seemed to subside as their minds came together. Unlike the previous mind-melds they've shared, it wasn't the brush of differing thoughts that she'd grown used to, this was a part of him finding a place in her head and her soul. Just the same, she could feel part of herself taking hold in him. This living, breathing organism that existed between them. The feeling was surreal, like being in two places at once. Jim could feel everything, not just from her body but she could feel everything that Sybok was feeling too.

"Oh… oh my God," she muttered against his shoulder as he surged up again, impossibly deeper. "Sybok."

"You are mine, k'diwa. Mine," he said, the words pushing her closer to the edge. "T'nash-veh adun'a."

Jim closed her eyes as her muscles tightened around him. She could feel it, how pleased he was with himself that he caused this undesirable need in her. How excited he was that she enjoyed hearing 'my wife' fall from his lips in his native tongue. She was helpless as he moved faster and pushed deeper, his fingers sure to leave bruises on her hips. Jim muttered a bunch of nonsense words, his powerful thrusts turning her into a quivering mess as they followed in rapid succession. She clenched down around him, lost in the feeling of Sybok in her and around her all at the same time.

Her mouth opened with a soundless cry as their orgasm took hold, she didn't actually know which one of them triggered it. Sybok let her hips go, reaching over to grip the chair next to them, Jim understood why as soon as the wood splintered under his fingers. His head gently dropped to her chest and he took a bunch of deep breaths. Both of them feeling a loop of aftershocks rolling through them.

"You're really okay with being my wife?"

"Little late for that question, isn't it?" Jim chuckled but she could feel the sincerity in it too. "You know that I wouldn't do something unless I was okay with it. You are brilliant and sweet and hot and I love you. Don't really need more reason than that. You can read my mind. You can see what I see."

"I can," he smiled. "I love thee, adun'a."

"And I love thee, adun," she replied, his hips twitching when she did. "It's not gone, is it? The pon farr."

"It's sated. However, we are now newlyweds."

"You're gonna wear me out, aren't you?" Jim asked as she pulled pieces of her torn clothing off.

"Yes, adun'a, I am. And you are going to enjoy every second of it."


	13. Chapter 13

"Of all the crazy…" Bones said as he scanned her with a tricorder. Sunday morning, Uhura returned to the embassy as promised with Bones and Pike in tow. Jim was now sitting in Sybok's study with the two men she considered family.

"It's a Vulcan thing that you don't actually have to understand, Bonesy," she told him. "Just be glad it's over for now. A couple days ago and he probably would've killed you for being this close to me."

"I otta kill him. You're covered in bruises and contusions… and bite marks," her best friend growled. It was a good thing she took a shower to wash off everything else, he'd be having a fit if he knew every naughty way that Jim and Sybok went at each other.

"Completely consensual. You should see Sy's shoulders and back," Jim sighed and looked at Pike, who was more rational then Bones. "I can't tell you what caused all this, it's a big Vulcan secret. The only time they tell aliens is if it's an emergency or the alien is their mate. Which, in this case is me… and Uhura, since she's dating a Vulcan. Anyway, I knew what I was getting into when I walked into the building. And Ambassador Sarek ensured as much before he let me near Sybok. There were plenty of people here if I felt even a little uncomfortable. This isn't the first time I've gotten a little banged up during sex."

"A little banged up?" Bones look at her. "I swear, kid…"

"Leo, stop. You know she's okay. And most of those marks are superficial. We do worse to each other in the gym," Pike said with a smirk.

"I'm still gonna give him a piece of my mind," her best friend said. Jim laughed. "What?"

"Right. Is that a hickey I see at the edge of Christopher's collar?" she asked. "Should we have words about that too?"

"She has a point," Sybok said as he walked into the room with his father. Jim felt heat roll up her spine before he even touched her. He rested a hand on her back, she intensively relaxed and leaned into him. Pike watched them for a long moment.

"What's the rest?" the captain asked.

'Should we tell him?' Sybok asked in her head. Jim just shrugged. Her husband looked at her friends, "We are married."

"Have you lost your damn mind?" Bones asked. "Married? What were you thinking?"

"I felt like it," Jim smirked.

"Adun'a," Sybok gave her a look.

"What? It's true," she chuckled. "Also, to explain would be explaining other stuff and it's not my place to do that."

"She is correct," Sarek agreed with her. "However, as you are James' family, we will tell you as much as we can without violating our most sacred laws. Will that suffice?"

"N…" Bones started but Pike gave him a nudge. "Yes."

Jim didn't really pay attention as Sarek explained what was going on while Bones checked her over. She really just wanted to go back to bed, she was exhausted. Everyone looked at her as she let out a loud yawn.

"Perhaps we should get you to bed," Sybok said. Jim smiled at him. "To sleep."

"Ruining my fun," she smirked.

"She's gonna be insufferable now. I just gotta know one thing and maybe I'll let it go," Bones said. She looked at her best friend, waiting for him to continue. "You knew that you'd end up married and you did it anyway. Why?"

"It was pretty logical, actually," Jim chuckled, Spock would get a kick out of that. "Sybok was going through pon farr and would die if it wasn't abated. All I had to do was have really hot sex with the man I love and save his life. The marriage stuff was just a bonus. If it was Pike, what would you have done?"

"You know the answer to that," Bones told her, his eyes avoiding the look the Chris gave him.

"Yes, I do. So you should understand exactly why I did what I did," she said with another yawn. "Now, if you're done torturing me, I'm gonna go curl up in my husband's bed and sleep until tomorrow."

"Make sure she at least stays hydrated, Sybok," Bones ordered.

"I will," her husband said.

"Congrats, I guess, kid," her best friend said.

"Thank you," Jim smiled.

"Make sure you give me your marriage paperwork when you get it, I'll file it myself so some clerk doesn't send a copy to the media," Pike told her.

"I always knew you loved me," she chuckled.

"I do. Congratulations, Jimmy," her mentor smiled and gave her a kiss on the forehead. He looked at Sybok. "You know about how she and I met, which means you know that if anything happens to her, I will hurt you."

"Yes, sir," Sybok nodded.

"Good." The captain looked at his boyfriend, "Come on, Leo. Let's leave the newlyweds be."

* * *

"My brother is with…"

"Your father," Jim finished Spock's statement with a tap against her temple as she walked into Sybok's study and found his brother sitting at the desk. Through her bond, Jim knew that other than a bedroom, Spock didn't really have his own space in the embassy.

"Ah, yes, the marriage bond," Spock nodded. "You appear to be acclimating to it."

"It's comforting to be honest with you," she smiled and sat on the couch, pulling her legs under her. "You and Uhura thinking about getting married?" Spock gave her a look. "Sorry. Vulcan's are private about this kind of stuff. I know that."

"It has crossed my mind," he answered honestly. "Do not tell Nyota."

"Of course not."

"May I make a personal query?"

"Please," Jim shrugged.

"You stated that you do not like any test that teaches one to give up before they begin," Spock said.

"This again?"

"I wish to understand why. As a command officer, you must know that not every situation will conclude the way you desire."

"I do know that," she chuckled. "My issue is the lack of realism. In the real world, there is always a solution. You may not like the choices you get but you do have them. Your test eliminates the chance to come up with a solution, obvious or otherwise."

"That is an interesting way of looking at the universe."

"Let's just say, I've made an art out of finding the third option."

* * *

"So, you said you had good news and bad news," Jim said to her husband when she walked into the embassy's kitchen.

"I also said I was going to tell you over dinner," he chuckled as Jim wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his back.

"You sure you don't want to just tell me?" she asked, feeling his contentment and amusement. They'd only been married for eight days but you wouldn't know it to look at them.

"Lady T'Pau is will be here in seven point three hours. She will verify our bond tomorrow before giving us the appropriate paperwork," Sybok said as he continued cooking some kind of soup.

"The Lady T'Pau? Like the only person to turn down a spot on the Federation Council? That Lady T'Pau?" Jim asked.

"That would be correct," he chuckled. "You're giddy."

"You just told me that I get to meet one of the leaders of the Syrrannite movement who helped to reform Vulcan society by bringing forth Surak's true teachings. She's a diplomat and a judge, a philosopher and a solider. And she's gonna confirm our bond. That's cool."

"I'm glad you approve, she's our clan matriarch," Sybok said, she could hear the smile in his voice.

"So, I'm sorta related to her?"

"I suppose that you are."

"That's awesome," she smiled. "Now, tell me the bad news?"

"When she returns to Vulcan in nine days, I will go with her," he sighed.

"What? Why? How long?" A whole bunch of stuff ran through her head.

"Calm, k'diwa. I will not be gone long," Sybok turned in her arms so he could look at her. "Eleven days maximum."

"You're gonna miss me and Spock fighting in front of an audience."

"Nyota said she would give me the highlights. There are some things I must take care of and some personal property I wish to retrieve from my father's home."

"Are you moving?" Jim chuckled and realized that he was considering it. "You are."

"We are," he said. "We are married, Jim, it is inadvisable to live with my parents. You are due to graduate, so you will need to move as well. The Enterprise is not due to leave for months and I know that you do not wish to live in officer's housing."

"Any ideas on where?"

"I have compiled a list of options. You have the final decision, as it will be your home as well."

"Home. I never really had that. I mean, echoes of it but never the real thing," she sighed.

"Now you will. We will."

* * *

" _Live long and prosper, Lady T'Pau,_ _"_ Sybok said to the old woman in front of him, his hand in the ta'al.

 _"_ _Peace and long life, son of Sarek_ _,"_ T'Pau returned the greeting before her eyes moved to Jim. "James Tara Kirk, daughter of George, son of Tiberius."

 _"_ _Yes, ma'am. Live long and prosper_ _,"_ Jim copied her husband's gesture. She wasn't even going to ask how T'Pau knew her grandfather's name.

 _"_ _Peace and long life_ _,"_ T'Pau said. _"_ _I will inspect thee bond separately, then you will meld and I will observe_ _."_

 _"_ _Yes, ma'am,"_ Jim nodded. T'Pau decided that Sybok would go first, so Jim watched as the Vulcan leader joined minds with her husband. After a few moments, that felt like a lifetime, T'Pau released Sybok and motioned for Jim to step forward.

 _"_ _My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts_ _,"_ T'Pau said as she pressed her warm fingers against the points on Jim's face.

Not one to waste time, T'Pau went straight for Jim's shoddy memories of Sybok's pon farr and the blood fever that he passed to her. Then, T'Pau watched as they recited -what Jim now knows were- their vows. It was weird, having someone other than Sybok in her head. She knew the honored woman wasn't being nosey, just curious. It was only logical for someone to have questions about Sybok's association to a human, especially when he knew people were already looking at his father like a crazy person for doing the same thing.

'Sarek is not alone in his love for an outworlder, his position makes it appear so,' T'Pau told her through the bond before releasing Jim. _"_ _Son of Sarek, meld with your wife_ _."_

" _Our minds_ ," Sybok's fingers caressed her face before pressing against her psi points, " _one and together._ "

'You changed it,' Jim chuckled in her head, so used to the whole 'separate and together' thing.

'It was necessary where you are concerned,' he replied in amusement. Jim was sure that the phrase before melding was more ritualistic than necessary as they vary between multiple people. 'You would be correct.'

'Fascinating.' Jim was so busy goofing off with Sybok in their heads, she didn't even realize that T'Pau was there until the clan leader said something. It was strange, someone in her husband's mind while they were joined, even a little off-putting. 'Many Vulcans do not have a bond this deep.'

'You hear that, our bond is deep,' Jim thought to her husband.

'Indeed it is, adun'a,' Sybok replied and she had to clamp down the thoughts that that word causes in her head. T'Pau didn't seem to care that Jim's head went all lusty, she simply left Sybok's mind. After another moment, Sybok released Jim from their meld, his hand slid down her arm and into her own.

 _"_ _Your marriage is valid according to the laws of our people. I will provide you with the necessary documentation within two standard hours,"_ T'Pau told them. Though he didn't show it, Sybok was thrilled.

"Thank you," Jim smiled.

"Your thanks are unnecessary," T'Pau told her.

"Of course," the younger woman nodded. _"Live long and prosper, Lady T'Pau."_

"Peace and long life, S'chn T'gai James."


	14. Chapter 14

"Someone's cranky," Bones chuckled

"Sy's been gone for a week and I feel like I'm losing my mind," Jim smiled and handed him her cup of coffee, she ordered it for herself but she didn't want it. Being without Sybok seemed to affect in a bunch of ways, mostly with their bond. It was still there, just muted and Jim didn't like the feeling at all. She was wondering just what they were going to do about it when Jim had to leave. Vulcan tradition was to live together for a year but her spot on the newest flagship was going to make that interesting.

"Ooo, the good stuff," her best friend sighed in contentment. Give the man good bourbon or good coffee and he was happy. They walked through the campus in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Bones looked at her, really looked.

"What?"

"You look good. Happy even."

"I am a newlywed."

"That's not what I meant. We're roommates… err were roommates and I know for a fact that you ran yourself to the ground, you don't do that anymore."

"I was avoiding sleep," she answered honestly. "Nightmares are a helluva thing."

"They're gone?"

"No. It's just… You know that Vulcan's are telepathic," Jim said. "I let Sy see them and he…"

"Took them from you."

"No. That's not something he can do, even if he wanted to. He kinda just walked through them with me, reminding that I was in my head. It's really hard to explain but the point is that I still have nightmares, they just don't scare me like they used to," she shrugged. "I wouldn't let him take my pain from me anyway. I've had a lifetime of pain, I wouldn't be me without it."

* * *

"Don't tell me you're nervous," Bones said to Uhura.

"I'm not," the linguist chuckled.

"There's no reason to be anyway, your overly logical boyfriend knows I'm right. We've been talking," Jim smiled, glancing over Uhura's shoulder at said boyfriend. Jim and Spock don't agree but they respect each others point of view.

"Holiday dinner at the embassy is gonna be a lot more interesting," Bones laughed.

"Oh," Uhura smiled, "you have no idea. But this stuff isn't what I'm worried about."

"Don't make us beg," the southerner said.

"I was in the long-range sensor lab last night and I picked up and emergency transmission from Klingon space. Forty-seven ship were destroyed near _…_ Rura Penthe, I think."

"Klingon penal colony. It's referred to as 'the alien's graveyard," Jim said.

"Why?" Bones gave her a look.

"Life expectancy for most prisoners is under a year," Jim answered before she looked at Uhura. "You tell anyone?"

"I logged it but there wasn't anyone to tell," Uhura shrugged. "Hey, they're getting started. Good luck, Kirk."

"Thanks, guys," Jim smiled as Bones gave her shoulder a squeeze as he took his seat next to her.

"This session has been called with the purpose of considering reform in the procedures and policies regarding the Kobayashi Maru Examination," Admiral Barnett told the assembled cadets, instructors and officers. "Defending the Kobayashi Maru is Lieutenant Commander Spock. Opposing the Kobayashi Maru is Lieutenant James Kirk. Please step forward." Jim glanced over at her brother-in-law as they descended the handful of stairs and stood at their podiums. "Lieutenant Kirk, proceed."

"The Kobayashi Maru is primarily used to assess a cadet's discipline, character and command capabilities when facing an impossible situation. However, there is no legitimate strategy that will result in a successful outcome. In academic vernacular, the test is a cheat. Programmed to be unwinnable," Jim said.

"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no-win scenario," Spock countered.

"I don't believe in no-win scenarios. Any commanding officer worth their salt shouldn't either," she said.

"Then you failed to understand the principle lesson. You of all people should know, Lieutenant Kirk, a captain cannot cheat death," Spock said.

"I of all people?"

"Your father, Lieutenant Commander George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?"

"He did. And yet, even in death, he won," she said.

"How could a dead man win?" Spock pointed out, earning some chuckles from the idiot cadets behind him.

"I'm not dead. I was born in a shuttle while he fought off Romulans. His concern wasn't for himself, it was for his family and his crew. He saved over eight hundred people including his wife and his newborn daughter. He took the third option and he won, even in death," Jim said. "You told me after I took the Kobayashi Maru that it's purpose was to experience fear."

"I did," he said.

"But what is there to fear from a simulation? Anyone who has ever taken that test knows that it doesn't matter what you do and, as such, there's no real point. There are no lives or property in danger, no treaties to consider. Furthermore, I, like many others here, have served in combat, I've watched real people give their lives for the Federation. Your test pales in comparison to experiences that have shaped my being. How can a few lines of code even begin to compare to watching my commanding officer die and the realization that I was the ranking officer on the bridge? That has actually happened to me. USS Farragut; only a third of the crew made it home. Your test wants the taker to ignore everything they've ever experienced, fear a simulation and accept that there is no way to win. In the real world, you have options. Even if you lose people, even if you don't like what you get, even if you die, you still have the ability to affect change. Your test doesn't allow that and, as such, fails everyone who takes it."

"Lieute…" Spock started but an aide handed Barnett a PADD and the admiral cut him off.

"We've received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed."

Jim and Spock shared a look with each other; Amanda, Sarek and Sybok were all on Vulcan. She took a steadying breath before she walked over to the man she was just arguing with. In this moment he wasn't the instructor that pissed her off or the brother-in-law that she had a tiny soft spot for, he was her ship's executive officer.

"We should report to Captain Pike," Spock told her.

"Yes, sir," she nodded before looking over at the assembled officers. "Bones, you're with me."

* * *

"What are we looking at, sir?" Jim asked Pike as they rode together in the turbo lift. He handed her a PADD. Jim scanned the information as the doors to the bridge opened, her eyes falling on four words: lightning storm in space. She stepped off the lift in a daze. Could it really…? 'Think, Jim, think.'

"Captain. Engineering reports ready for launch," she heard Spock say.

"Thank you," Pike replied. "Ladies and gentlemen, the maiden voyage of our newest flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance than we can afford today. A christening will just have to be our reward for a safe return. Carry on."

"It's not a rescue," Jim muttered to herself, drawing a look from Spock -Vulcan hearing- before she repeated herself at full volume. "Sir, it's not a rescue."

"Kirk?" Pike looked at her.

"Vulcan is not experiencing a natural disaster. It's being attacked by Romulans," she told him.

"Romulans?" Pike asked.

"Based on what facts?" Spock stepped forward.

"The anomaly that telemetry reported from the neutral zone, a lightning storm in space, also occurred on the day of my birth before a Romulan ship attacked the USS Kelvin," Jim answered before looking at Pike. "You know that, sir, I read your dissertation. That ship which had formidable and advanced weaponry was never seen or heard from again. The Kelvin attack took place on the edge of Klingon space and at twenty-three hundred hours last night, there was an attack. Forty-seven Klingon vessels destroyed by Romulans, sir. It was reported that the Romulans were in one ship, one massive ship. Like the ship Captain Robau reported before he was killed."

"And you know of this Klingon attack how?" Pike asked.

"Lieutenant Uhura intercepted and logged the message herself, sir," she told him as she pulled it up on his PADD and handed it back to him. "I can almost guarantee that the seismic activity that the Vulcan High Command reported isn't a natural occurrence. We're gonna warp right into a trap, sir. The Romulans are waiting for us on the other side."

"Kirk's logic is sound and Lieutenant Uhura is unmatched in xenolinguistics, we would be wise to accept their conclusions," Spock said.

" _You agree with me? Wonders never cease_ ," Jim muttered in Vulcan.

" _I agree when you are logical_ ," Spock told her. It took everything she had for Jim not to smile at that.

"Get Lieutenant Uhura up here and someone hail the other ships. Mister Sulu, are we good to go?" Pike asked the kid at the helm.

"Dock control reports ready and we've cleared Earth Spacedock," Sulu reported.

"Set course for Vulcan. Maximum warp and punch it," the captain said. "Jim, get me a solution."

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"That ship is massive," one of the officers on the bridge muttered. The Enterprise, the Newton and the Hood were still standing. Beat up to all hell but still standing… mostly. Pike passed Jim's warning over comms to the other ships and Starfleet Command. Sadly, only two of the ships were in a position to benefit from the heads up.

"We need to take that thing out," Jim said, referring to the high energy pulse device that the Romulans lowered into the Vulcan atmosphere. According to Uhura, it was blocking all communications and transporter abilities in the area.

"Captain, we're being hailed," Uhura said half a second before a Romulan appeared on the viewscreen.

"Hello." Covered in some kind of markings, the man seemed oddly calm for someone who just destroyed a bunch of Federation vessels.

"I'm Captain Christopher Pike. To whom am I speaking," her CO said.

"Hi, Christopher, I'm Nero."

Jim's jaw tightened and her hands balled into fists. This was Nero. The Nero. The man… The monster who attacked the Kelvin. The monster who killed Captain Robau. The monster who killed her father. Every fiber in her being wanted to beat that smug look off his face. A thought nudged at her mind; Sy was trying to calm her down. She couldn't feel him when she was on Earth but in orbit over Vulcan, not only was he there, some of his thoughts came through clearly.

" _Calm, sister_ ," Spock whispered in his native tongue. She gave him a nod as she took a deep breath from her spot at the clear boards next to his and Uhura's stations.

"You've declared war against the Federation. Withdraw and I'll agree to arrange a conference with Romulan leadership at a neutral location," Pike said.

"I do not speak for the Empire. We stand apart, as does your Vulcan crew member. Isn't that right, Spock?" Nero asked. Jim looked at her brother-in-law, if she didn't have a read on Vulcans, she wouldn't've seen the surprise flicker over his features for a second. What the hell did Nero want with Spock?

"Pardon me, I do not believe that you and I are acquainted?" Spock said as he stood, stepping past her to stand next to the captain.

"No, we're not. Not yet. Spock, there's something I would like you to see. Captain Pike, your transporter has been disabled. You will man a shuttle and come aboard the Narada for negotiations. As you have already witnessed, you're outmatched, you have no choice. That is all," Nero said before the communication cut off.

"He'll kill you. But you know that," Jim said as Pike stood up.

"Your survival is unlikely, Captain," Spock agreed. "You should re-think your strategy."

Jim knows Pike well enough to know that he was seriously considering going over there, far be it for her to tell him not to do something. "We can use this."

"But?" Pike looked at her.

"No buts. We need to take out that drill. The only feasible way to do that is to get someone down there. We have no transporter capabilities and they'll take out any shuttles we deploy, except one; yours," she told him. "We could stick a team in that shuttle and launch them into atmo. A few people aren't gonna make a blip on anyone's radar. They disable the drill and beam back."

"What do we need to make it happen?" the captain asked.

"An engineer, two ground combat specialists to provide cover, demolition charges and EVA gear," Jim answered.

"Sulu, you're with us," Pike ordered. "Jim, you too. Uhura, comm Scotty down in engineering and tell him what we need. Chekov, you have the conn."

The Russian kid at the navigation console nodded, "Aye aye, Captain."

* * *

AN: The talk about Sybok's telepathic abilities is a nod to Star Trek: TFF, where he uses this rare technique he learned has to 'erase' pain. It turns out to be nothing more than some brainwashing.


	15. Chapter 15

"Clear the pad, I'm beaming to the surface," Spock said as he walked into the transporter room. "I have entered the coordinates into the computer."

Jim and Sulu were just beamed up from their trip to the drill of doom where they lost Engineer Olsen, fought some big Romulans and disabled the damn thing that was scrambling their gear. They heard the evacuation order that Uhura issued to the planet over all the channels and the announcement that a singularity was causing Vulcan to implode in on itself but they were busy trying not to die after they fell off the drill to really pay attention. Now, Spock wanted to go down to the planet. Jim knew exactly what he was after.

"No. You're the acting captain, you can't go. I'll go," Jim said from her spot on the transporter pad. "I'll get to them faster than you will anyway. I can find Sy in a blizzard while blindfolded." She knew Spock better than he thought she did, he loves his mother and he would only risk his life in order to save her. Jim also knew that his parents and brother were with other Vulcan leaders. As much as it probably annoyed him, she was right. He stepped off the pad and gave her a sharp nod. "Energize."

The atmosphere of Vulcan was worse now than it was a few minutes ago. It was like the worst storm she'd ever seen cranked up to a thousand. Jim jogged into a place that Sybok's brain supplied was the Katric Ark of Mount Seleya. She dodged falling rock and debris as her head and heart led her the group running in her direction. She used her bond to warn her husband and he managed to get the elders to listen to him just in time.

"Jim," Amanda said when she spotted her. Jim's eyes locked with her husband, the relief filled their bond from both ends.

"The planet only has seconds left. Come on!" she told them, taking Amanda's hand and leading the other Human woman out the way she came, Sybok, Sarek, T'Pau and the council following behind them. As soon as they cleared the rocks, Jim activated the communicator in her EVA suit. "Kirk to Enterprise. Get us outta here, Chekov!"

"I have a lock on you. Do not move," Spock told her. She wasn't expecting him to be the one on the other end, then again, he was faster than the kid and the planet was crumbling around them. Jim looked over at her husband, she could feel the fear and the panic but she could also feel calm. Calm that she tried to focus on. "Transport in five..." Spock's voice returned. "Four... three... two... one."

The familiar swirl of the transporter wrapped around Jim, who's hand was still clasped tightly with Amanda's. One second, they were standing on the crumbling Vulcan and the next, they were on the Enterprise.

"Spock," Amanda said, rushing off the pad to hug her son. Jim found herself in her own hug, her husband wrapped one arm around her waist while touching her face with the other hand. It was a little awkward in her suit but still a welcome feeling.

"It's just a scratch," she whispered. "You should see the other guy." He pressed a soft kiss next to the wound around her eye and another against her temple. Sybok didn't say anything, he didn't need to. She felt his happiness that she was in his arms, his relief that his family was safe and his heartbreak at the loss of his home and it's people. This overwhelming grief hit her from his side of the bond and Jim was grateful that he was holding her because it would've dropped her to her knees. "I grieve with thee, adun."

"I am uninjured, mother," Spock said before he looked up at Jim. "The Newton was pulled into the singularity and many of the Hood's crew was beamed aboard."

"I'll find something for everyone to do," Jim said, taking a slight step away from her husband and into the role of first officer that Pike's absence advanced her to. "Anything else, sir?"

"Take the council and my… our family to medical. Doctor McCoy will no doubt want to examine all of you," Spock ordered.

"Understood, sir."

"And Jim, thank you," he said, his arm tightening around his mother.

The younger officer smiled, "Your thanks are welcome but unnecessary."

* * *

"Have you confirmed that Nero is headed for Earth?" Spock asked Uhura.

The communications officer nodded, "Their trajectory suggests no other destination, Captain."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Spock sighed. If they don't what people to know that they're together, they should probably try not to be so obvious about it.

"Earth may be his next stop but we'd be idiots if we didn't consider every Federation planet a target," Jim said.

"Well, if the Federation is a target, why didn't they destroy us?" Chekov asked.

"Why would they? Why waste the weapons? You know... we obviously weren't a threat," Sulu sighed.

"That is not it," Spock said. "He said he wanted me to see something. The destruction of my home planet."

"How the hell did they do that, by the way? Where did the Romulans get that kind of weaponry?" Bones asked as he, Sarek and Sybok walked onto the bridge.

"The engineering comprehension necessary to artificially create a black hole may suggest an answer. Such technology could theoretically be manipulated to create a tunnel through space-time," the acting captain said.

"Dammit man, I'm a doctor, not a physicist. Are you actually suggesting they're from the future?!" her best friend asked.

"If you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," Spock said.

"How poetic," the doctor rolled his eyes. Jim couldn't blame him for being pissed off, his boyfriend was a hostage on a Romulan ship.

"Sherlock Holmes, Sign of the Four, eighteen-ninety… chapter six, if I'm not mistaken," Jim rattled off the top of her head. Everyone one on the bridge looked at her. "I'm not just a pretty face with a famous dad. Look, we need to stop Nero. Catch up with 'em, disable 'em, get Pike back."

"We are technologically outmatched in every way. A rescue attempt would be illogical," Spock said.

"You don't get it, we're not talking about a rescue," Jim said. Bones looked like he was ready to say something but Jim put her hand over his mouth. "Captain Pike knows the subspace frequencies of Starfleet's border defense grids. When they get him to talk, and they will get him to talk, every major planet in the Federation is in danger. Vulcan is gone, the ships protecting Earth are gone, Tellar Prime and Andoria's fleets won't make a dent when the Romulans figure out that we're defenseless and they send their ships to back up the Narada. The primary fleet won't stand a chance when they finally get back, if they make it this far." She dropped her hand from Bones' face. "So, this isn't a rescue, as much as I love Pike, he is the least of our worries. We are the only thing between Nero and the complete and utter destruction of the United Federation of Planets."

The silence on the bridge was deafening as everyone took in the information that Jim just laid on them. They were at a fork in the road and the decisions they make in the next hours was going to determine the fate of billions of lives.

"It's the Kobayashi Maru," Bones said, drawing everyone's attention to him. "We're damned if we do and damned if we don't."

"No. I refuse to accept that," Jim told him. "If we do something there's a chance but if we don't do anything and run away…"

"It will be the end of everything," Sybok said, finishing her thought.

"So, what do we do?" Uhura asked Spock.

"We find a third option," the acting captain said quietly.

"Now you sound like me," Jim chuckled.

Spock stared at her for a moment, "That is not necessarily a bad thing. Doctor McCoy, I relinquish my command based on the fact that I have been emotionally compromised. Please note the time and date in the ship's log."

"What?" Bones asked. "I mean… uh, yes, sir."

"Spock?" Uhura looked at him but he looked at Jim. "What are you doing?"

"I am a scientist. My logic dictates that one plus one equals two, we need it to equal three," Spock said, referencing Jim's words from that dinner that seemed like a lifetime ago. Jim knew that was only half of it, he didn't know what to do and he was terrified. Spock played the only card he had, giving Jim command.

Jim stepped over to the command chair and hit the intercom, "Attention crew of the Enterprise, this is James Kirk. Mister Spock has resigned command and advanced me to Acting Captain. I know you were all expecting to regroup with fleet but I'm ordering a pursuit course of the enemy ship to Earth. Kirk out."

* * *

" _Stop trying to calm me down_ ," Jim whispered to her husband in Vulcan.

" _It is not something I can help, beloved_ ," he whispered back.

" _It's unnecessary_ ," she told him.

"Stop flirting," Bones said. "Or do it in Standard so we can all know what you're saying."

"That's mean, Bonesy," Jim chuckled. "We're actually talking strategy."

"Oh yea?" her best friend asked. "What are you talking about?"

"We are need to get aboard Nero's ship undetected," Sybok said.

"Well, we can't just go in there, guns blazing," Bones said.

"I know. The Romulans will have their own defenses. They'll be looking for any pieces of the fleet or local defenses to take them out. Ground attacks won't make a dent in their shields," Jim sighed.

"Any ship this size will also draw their attention," Sybok added.

Bones looked between the two of them, "I still think you were flirting."

"We need a way to disable the shields," Jim sighed. "Or…"

"Hide from them," Sybok finished.

"Would you stop finishing my thoughts?" she asked with a smile.

"No," her husband told her, his amusement threading through all the less enjoyable emotions in their bond.

"Flirting," her best friend muttered.

"That might work," Chekov said in thick accent.

"What? Flirt with Nero?" Bones asked.

"No. Hiding. Based on the fastest course from Vulcan, I have projected that Nero will travel past Saturn. Like Mister Sybok said, we need to stay invisible to Nero or he'll destroy us. If Mister Scott can get us to warp factor four, and if we drop out of warp behind one of Saturn's moons, say Titan, the magnetic distortion from the planet's rings will make us invisible to Nero's sensors. From there, as long as the drill is not activated, we can beam aboard the enemy ship," Chekov told them.

"Aye, that might work," Chief Engineer Lieutenant Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott said from next to Sulu.

"Wait a minute, kid. How old are you?" Bones asked the young navigator.

"Seventeen, sir," Chekov smiled brightly.

"Oh, oh good, he's seventeen, Jim," Bones looked at her.

"But he's right," Sybok said. "I can confirm his telemetry."

"You shouldn't even be on the bridge," the doctor told him.

"Technically, neither should you, Doctor. You are both here because the captain allows it," Spock said as he joined their little pow-wow from the science station. "Mister Chekov is correct. If Mister Sulu is able to maneuver us into position, I can beam aboard Nero's ship, steal the black hole device and, if possible, bring back Captain Pike. Romulans and Vulcans share a common ancestry. Our cultural similarities will make it easier for me to access the ship's computer to locate the device."

"I'm coming with you," Sybok said.

"Oh, like hell you are," Jim glared at her husband. "What are you gonna do, be handsome and diplomatic at them? I'll go. Spock, you get the device, I'll get Pike."

"Jim, _you cannot expect me to stay here while my wife and my brother go over to that ship_ ," her husband said, slipping into Vulcan.

" _That is exactly what you are going to do, Sybok,_ " she told him.

" _I will ensure that she returns safely_ ," Spock said. Everyone on the bridge watched the exchange but only a few of them understood any of it.

" _No, I will bring him back_ ," Jim declared. Spock looked at her before they both looked at Sybok.

" _We will bring each other back_ ," the two officers said in unison.

Sybok chuckled, "You two on the same side is… frightening."


	16. Chapter 16

" _Come back to me_ ," Sybok told her.

"What is that thing betrothed Vulcans say to each other?" Jim asked. "' _Parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched. We meet at the appointed place_.' I said that right, right?"

"You did. It is oddly appropriate," he smiled. " _Parted from me and never parted, never and always touching and touched. I await you._ Be careful, adun'a."

"I'll try," she told him. "I love you."

"As I love you," Sybok said before brushing his fingers against hers and pressing a soft kiss against her lips.

"Here goes nothing," Jim said as she hopped up onto the transporter pad. Uhura gave her arm a squeeze as the linguist stepped down to stand with Sybok.

"Okey-dokey then. If there's any common sense in the design of the enemy ship, I should be putting you somewhere in the cargo bay. There shouldn't be a soul in sight," Scotty told them.

Jim glanced over at Spock before she nodded, "Energize."

So, the 'shouldn't be a soul in sight' thing was a bunch of crap. Scotty inadvertently beamed them into a room full of Romulans. Jim and Spock were being shot at as soon as they fully materialized. Thinking on the same wave-length, the pair pulled their phasers and started shooting back as they made their way to cover, taking out a bunch of the Romulans.

"Go, I'll cover ya," Jim said when she noticed Spock looking over at a Romulan he just shot a few feet away from them.

"Are you certain?"

"Yeah, I got ya," she nodded, shooting a Romulan over Spock's shoulder as he knelt to mind meld with an injured Romulan. "Do you know where it is? The black hole device?"

"And Captain Pike," Spock told her. "This way." He didn't wait for her as he ran through the ship, Jim followed close behind as he told her where they were holding Pike. As soon as they got to the Narada's shuttle bay, they found this cool looking ship that reminded Jim of a jellyfish.

"Okay," Jim muttered as they quickly made their way up the ramp.

"I foresee a complication. The design of this ship is far more advanced than I've anticipated," Spock told her.

" _Voice print and face recognition analysis enabled. Welcome back, Ambassador Spock_ ," the computer said.

"Okay, that's just creepy," she said as she looked around.

"Computer, what is your manufacturing origin?" he asked.

" _Stardate twenty-three eighty-seven point three-zero-one. Commissioned by the Vulcan Science Academy_ ," the computer answered. A ship from the future that recognizes Spock. Very creepy, indeed.

"You'll be able to fly this thing, right?" Jim asked her brother-in-law.

"Something tells me I already have."

"Well, good luck."

"Jim, the statistical likelihood that our plan will succeed is less than four point three percent."

"It'll work."

"In the event that I do not return, please tell Lieutenant Uhura..."

"Spock, it'll work. It has to work. Your mother scares the hell outta me and I'm not going back to that ship without you. It'll work," she told him really fast before she ran off the small ship and in the direction he instructed her to go to find their captain.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Pike asked from the table he was strapped to.

"Oh, you know, the usual. Fighting with people bigger than me," she chuckled as she stepped over the Romulan she shot. After a scuffle with Nero, who is seriously unhinged, and killing his first officer, Jim finally got to Pike. "You're welcome. Who's the Vulcan guy?"

"I am Spock," the Vulcan told her. She gave him a look as she unstrapped Pike.

"Considering that Nero is a crazy Romulan from the future with a black hole device and that jellyfish looking thing recognized my brother-in-law, an older version of him is not the weirdest thing I've seen today," Jim rattled off. "Jim Kirk."

"I suspected," the Vulcan said as she freed him from his own table. "You refer to your Spock as your brother-in-law; you are married to Sybok?"

"Yep. Almost a whole month," she chuckled as she pulled Pike's arm over her shoulder and opened her communicator. "Enterprise, four to beam over!" The familiar swirl of the transporter wrapped around them and deposited the group in the transporter room. "Not bad, Scotty."

"Ha ha ha ha," the engineer laughed. "I've never beamed four people from two targets onto one pad before."

"Chris," Bones said as soon as he and a med team ran into the room, Uhura, Sybok, Sarek and Amanda ran in behind them.

"Leo," Pike smiled. "It's not as bad as it looks."

"Liar," Bones chuckled as he took Chris from her. "I got him, Jim."

"I'm sure you do," Jim winked at her best friend before hopping off the transporter pad. "Spock and Uhura with me. Sy… talk to the old guy, apparently, he's your brother too." She could feel her husband's confusion as she ran out of the room but she didn't have time to focus on it.

"Captain, the enemy ship is losing power. Their shields are down, sir," Chekov told her as she stepped into the bridge.

"Hail them now," Jim ordered.

"Aye," Uhura said.

Nero appeared on the viewscreen as a black hole formed in the Narada. Jim took a deep breath before she started talking. "This is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise. Your ship is compromised. You're too close to the singularity to survive without assistance, which we are willing to provide."

"Captain, what are you doing?" Spock asked her at just above a whispered.

"Compassion may be the only way to earn peace with Romulus. As much as it pisses me off, it's logic, Spock. Thought you'd like that," she said with a shrug.

"No, not really. Not this time," her brother-in-law said.

"I would rather suffer the end of Romulus a thousand times," Nero growled. "I would rather die in agony than accept assistance from you."

"You know what, you got it. Mister Sulu, arm phasers, fire everything we got," Jim told the helmsman.

"Yes, sir."

* * *

"Do we have to do this right now?" she asked her best friend. Jim just saved the world, the least he could do is give her a break. "I have a ship full of people to take care of since your boyfriend is on the disabled list."

"Don't look at me," Pike mumbled from his biobed.

"As the chief medical officer, it's my duty to ensure that the person in command of this ship is of sound mind and body," Bones told her as he shoved her into the chair. "Just be glad I'm doing this in here and not out there."

"Be glad my really strong husband didn't see you shove me," Jim chuckled.

"Love tap," the doctor chuckled as he ran the tricorder over her. All of a sudden, his face went completely serious.

"What's wrong?" Pike asked from his bed, taking the words right out of Jim's mouth.

"I uh… I don't…" Bones muttered. "That's impossible."

"What?!" she asked.

"Give me a second," the southerner left Jim and Pike in the private room.

"What the hell is wrong with him?" Jim asked the ship's rightful CO.

"He's your best friend," Pike chuckled.

"He's your boyfriend," she pointed out. After a minute, Jim hopped up. "I have stuff to do."

"Sit your skinny ass back down in that chair," Bones said as he, Sybok, Spock and Amanda walked into to the room. Jim did what she was told.

"Tell me what's wrong," Jim demanded.

"You're pregnant," her best friend sighed.

"That's funny," she laughed. "You almost had me. That's medically impossible without intervention."

"Actually, it is not," Spock told her.

Jim looked at her brother-in-law, "The odds are…"

"Negligible. However, during pon farr the chance of accidental pregnancy with a Human spouse increases to two point zero-three-three percent," the she chief science officer said.

"You gotta be kidding me." Jim looked at Sybok, there were a bunch of emotions swirling around in their bond. Happiness, fear, excitement, worry, pride, disbelief. "I've been getting my ass kicked for a day and a half. Are you telling me that I launched out of a shuttle and fought a bunch of crazy Romulans while pregnant?!"

"Yes. Don't worry, the baby is okay, just entering the embryonic stage. You're three weeks and six days along," Bones told her with a chuckle. "That pon farr stuff is no joke."

"Why didn't I notice?" Jim asked.

"I think you did. At least on a subconscious level. Like handing over your coffee and downing apples and carrots and plomeek soup and that weird Vulcan fruit you like," Bones told her.

"Gespar," she muttered.

"Yea, that," her best friend sighed. "I probably could've put that together sooner if we were still roommates."

"Could you be wrong?" she asked. Bones just shook his head. "What the hell am I gonna do with a kid?" Jim muttered to herself, her hand drifting to her stomach. "I… what… I"

"Jim, breathe," Amanda said as she moved to kneel in front of her.

"I didn't even have a mom. How am I supposed to be a mom?" Jim whispered. "I didn't even get to be a kid. How am I gonna take care of a kid?"

"You are going to do just fine, sweetie," Spock's mother said, taking Jim's hands in hers.

"You have something your mother did not have, adun'a," Sybok said as he knelt next to Amanda, his hand cupping her face. "You have me. We can do this."

"What about Starfleet? Are you telling me that I worked my ass off for nothing?" she asked.

"Worry about it later, kiddo," Pike said from his biobed.

"People don't even know I'm married. Now, I'm pregnant... the media is gonna flip. The brass might flip."

"Jim, breathe. You don't have to tell them until you're three months and they can't pull you from ship duty until seven or eight months depending on your doctor and assignment. You can worry about all of that later," Pike said. He was a starship captain; he would know that off the top of his head. "Right now, Leo's gonna tell you what to do and you will listen no matter how much it annoys you."

"I don't even know where to start. Human/Vulcan hybrids aren't that common," Bones sighed.

"Large doses of hormones, Vulcan vitamins and anti-rejection medications to start. I'll have Sarek give you the list; he memorized it. She should get started on those as soon as possible so that the baby had a fighting chance. I also know a Starfleet doctor who specializes in Vulcan anatomy and there's a geneticist who works in London, I'll get them in touch with you," Amanda told them. "When's the last time you had a full night's sleep, Jim?"

"Couple days ago. I couldn't settle," Jim admitted.

"That's your bond. Most Vulcan newlyweds spend a Vulcan year with their spouses," Amanda told her. "Sybok, get her something to eat and then she needs to get some sleep."

"I have a ship to run," the young acting captain said.

"Take six hours like the rest of the senior staff," Bones said. "We won't tell anyone what's going on."

"I can't win this, can I?" Jim asked.

"No," came the resounding answer from everyone in the room.

"I hate you all," she sighed.

Bones smiled, "No you don't."

* * *

AN: Did I just do that? Yes, I did. I changed the Human/Vulcan conception stuff a little, because: fiction. I couldn't resist giving them a pointy-eared baby.


	17. Chapter 17

Jim was grateful that the brass told her to lay low after her debrief. Instead of returning to the half-empty Starfleet Academy campus, she went to the Vulcan Embassy. The place was full of people at any given moment but she didn't really mind since they generally left her alone. The downside, of course, was boredom. After reading -what felt like a million- reports, she found herself walking around the embassy with nothing to do more than she really cared for and it was making her restless. The fact that her friend died and her husband hasn't slept in days wasn't helping.

"What are you doing?" Jim asked quietly when she walked into his office.

"Compiling a list of survivors," he sighed. "What are you doing?"

"Worrying about you and about Ny. Gaila was her roommate and now she's just… gone."

"She was your friend as well."

"Yea, but I'm used to it. People have been dying around me my whole life. You know you should probably get some rest, Sy. You're gonna burn out," she told him, changing the subject from her lost Orion friend to him. One emotional rollercoaster at a time.

"Vulcans can stay awake for weeks if we need to," Sybok told her. He'd been running his hands through his hair and there was the sense of grief surrounding him. He could deny it all he wanted but he needed sleep.

"I happen to know that. I also know that you get tired just like I do. You're tired right now," Jim said as she stood next to his desk. Sybok reached over and pulled her onto his lap. She rested her head on her husband's shoulder while he wrapped one arm around her waist and the other rested on her legs. They probably looked odd; the savior of Earth curled up in a ball on a Vulcan diplomat's lap.

"I am tired but what I have been asked to do, I cannot take lightly. There are many Vulcans breaking down. Severed bonds. Lost families. Lost history. We need to know who is left and we need to find somewhere for them to go."

"And you will because you're awesome. You just have to remember that, even in all this, this is a gift."

"I know. I just feel as though we… cheated somehow."

"I feel like that all the time," she chuckled. "Like you're alive but everyone around you is dead, so what was the point?"

"That is an apt summation," he sighed.

"The point in this case is that your entire race didn't die," Jim told him, moving his hand from her legs to rest on her stomach. "Your child will learn from you about his or her people."

"I am still in a state of disbelief regarding our child," Sybok smiled. Jim could feel it in his head constantly since they found out, not that he was the only one.

"You? I never thought I'd be a mother. To be honest, I never thought about a lot of things. I suppose I was too busy living in the past and surviving the present to ever seriously consider the future. I'm still getting used to the idea that I'm actually married. Now, I have whole new possibilities to think about."

"It scares you."

"Of course it does. What if I'm not a good mom? Hell, what am I gonna do with myself? Go into space and leave our child? Stay and resent you or the baby… or everything? Something in between? I'm drowning in possibilities now."

"I think you will make an excellent mother."

"You do?" she gave him a look.

"I do. I watched you on the Enterprise during our trip back to Earth and the way you interact with people, you're maternal. I don't know why I've never noticed it before."

"You've never seen me in my element," Jim smiled.

"I suppose that's accurate."

"What are we gonna do, Sy?"

"We are going to maintain your health, mourn our losses and find out what our options are. Just know this; I will support whatever you decide."

"This is your kid too; your opinion matters just as much as mine."

"I am aware. However, I would not want you to resent yourself for any decision you make. Did you know that Amanda used to be a teacher?"

"Yes."

"Do you know why she stopped teaching?"

She sighed, "I suppose that being the wife of an ambassador and bouncing between planets didn't lend itself to being a teacher full time."

"And you would be correct. That is not going to be us. You, me and our child; we will find our own normal."

"Even if that means following me around the galaxy? There's talk about making me the first officer on the flagship and I…"

"Last week would you have said yes?" Sybok asked her.

"I don't know. It was supposed to be your brother's post," Jim told him.

She had a long conversation with Spock when she heard the rumor the first time. Starfleet needed the optics of her in a command position but they couldn't just make her a captain. She and Spock were both getting promoted to full commanders and -word was that- Jim was going to be the first officer and chief tactical officer while Spock was going to be the second officer and chief science officer. Her brother-in-law found the whole thing to be quite logical and was -she thinks- relieved to have the weight of first officer lifted off his shoulder.

"I'm aware," her husband said. "If Captain Pike asked you to be his first officer instead of Spock, what would you have said?"

"I would've said yes but…"

"But nothing. You want to be the first officer on the flagship than be the first officer on the flagship."

"What about you and the baby? I mean, you have a life," she pointed out.

"I didn't have anything until I had you. I'm a diplomat because I'm good with different types of people but I didn't actually choose, it chose me. I have no problem leaving it behind if that's what you need," he whispered. "I know you're not used to being someone's priority but you are mine."

"That is illogical," Jim muttered, tears in her eyes.

"The best things usually are."

* * *

"Hey, it's a Spock-ception," Jim giggled when she walked into the dining area and found Spock and Spock having tea. They both gave her a look. "There's this really old movie that Bones likes called Inception. It's about dreams inside dreams. It's really weird. Seeing you guys together, the same but different, kinda reminded me of it. I'm gonna shut up now and go… do… something."

"Please, Jim, join us," the older Spock said with a small smile.

"Are you sure?" she asked, glancing between the two men.

"We are sure," her Spock said. Jim shrugged and took a seat next to him as he poured her a cup of the Vulcan Spice tea they were drinking. "We are discussing what brought Nero to our reality."

"Ooo, fun stuff," Jim chuckled. "When I talked to Pike on the ship, he said that something happened to Romulus in Nero's… reality and his pregnant wife was killed. I almost feel bad for the lunatic. But since he killed my father and tortured my mentor, it's a firm 'almost'."

"He is not to blame. Everything that has happened was due to my failure to save Romulus as I promised," Old Spock said.

"You can't blame yourself. You didn't decide Nero's actions, he did," she smiled before taking a sip of tea. "Wow, I'm starting to sound like your mother."

"You are, indeed," the younger Spock said. "Mister Spock, what happened to Romulus?"

"One hundred twenty-nine years from now, where I'm from, a star went supernova and consumed everything in its path. I promised the Romulans that I would save their planet. We outfitted our fastest ship and, using red matter, I would create a black hole to absorb the exploding star," Old Spock told them. "I was nearly there when the unthinkable happened; the supernova destroyed the planet. I had little time to save everything else. I extracted the red matter and shot it into the supernova to create a singularity. As I began my return trip, I was intercepted by Nero. He called himself the last of the Romulan Empire. In my attempt to escape, we were both pulled into the black hole. Nero went through first and arrived first."

"The lightning storms in space," Jim sighed.

"Yes. Nero spent the next twenty-five years awaiting my arrival. What was years for him, was only seconds for me. He held me responsible for the loss of his world. He captured my vessel and spared my life so that I would know his pain, so that I could observe his vengeance. As he was helpless to save his planet, I would be helpless to save mine. Billions of lives lost because of me, Jim, because I failed," the old man said.

"You did not cause the star to go supernova. You did what was required in order to save as many people as you could, the casualties could not have been prevented," the younger Vulcan said.

"Yea, listen to yourself," she said with a snicker. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. This Spock is right; you did what you could do. I know better than anyone that you can't save everyone. Doesn't matter how hard you try."

"You are so different from my Jim and, at the same time, very much him. Who he was, his bright and beautiful soul, I see it in you," Old Spock told her with a wistful smile.

"So, I'm a guy in your reality?" Jim asked.

"You are," he smiled at her. "I cannot tell you more than that. Your paths are your own to follow."

"That and we already changed it up anyway," she smiled. Her brother-in-law looked at her. "What? I married your brother and we're having a baby, I bet his Jim didn't do that."

* * *

" _Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe. Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine, love. Freak out in a moonage daydream oh yeah_ ," Bones sang with that deep, sexy voice of his. "Come on, Jim. You know you want to."

" _Don't fake it baby, lay the real thing on me. The church of man, love, is such a holy place to be. Make me baby, make me know you really care. Make me jump into the air_ ," she added from her spot in the doorway to Pike's hospital room.

" _Keep your 'lectric eye on me babe. Put your ray gun to my head. Press your space face close to mine, love. Freak out in a moonage daydream oh yeah_ ," Jim and Bones sang together.

"Gotta love David Bowie," Jim chuckled.

Her CO shook his head, "You suck."

"Singing's not my strongest attribute," she shrugged. She is a great many things but singer isn't really one of them. Jim can hold a tune but that's about it.

"She's not that bad and at least she knows the words," Bones smiled. "Hey, kid and mini-kid."

"Khlup," Jim smiled. Her best friend gave her a look. "It's Vulcan for 'jelly'. I don't know when we came up with it, just happened I guess. It's a good thing too because there's been some press at the embassy and that is not something I want out just yet."

"When are you gonna tell people?" the doctor asked.

"When the kid turns twenty," she said.

"Seriously?" Bones and Pike said at the same time.

"No but I would wait that long if I could pull it off. I'll probably tell everyone around five months or when I start showing, whichever comes first, even if I want to keep it to myself." They both gave her a look. "Don't do that. My parents were famous and I'm the one who got stuck dealing with that. I'm the one people watch and hound for information. I wouldn't want my child to go through that any more than you would."

"Good point. Speaking of children, Joanna says hi," Bones smiled.

"You gonna get to see her?" Jim asked.

"Yea. Mama's bringing her out here since I can't go to Savannah," her best friend said.

"You could, you just refuse to leave me here with all the well trained medical professionals," Pike corrected.

"She wants to see you too, you know," Bones said. "You can't go to her, so mama's bringing her to us."

"You mean, you're gonna leave me here all by myself to pick them up from the shuttle port?" the captain asked with a wide smile. He really shouldn't have done that.

"Jim?" Bones asked.

"I'll sit with him while you pick up Misses and little McCoy," she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side," Pike looked at her.

"I beat up a bunch of Romulans to save your life. I think it's been well established that I'm on your side. However, he already hypos the crap out of me, I'm not adding to my pain," she chuckled.

"Wuss," Pike smiled.

"I'm not a wuss, Bones is just scarier than Nero."


	18. Chapter 18

"Do I want to know how you're getting around campus without anyone noticing?" Uhura asked.

"Uh… transporter," Jim smiled as the other woman let her in the room. "Admiral Archer got me a waiver so that I could use it a little more than I'm supposed to. Bones is having a fit about it but Spock ensured him that it's safer for the baby than shuttles."

"Of course he did," Uhura chuckled.

"Spock also said that you were packing up Gaila's stuff. I figured you could use a hand."

"I could. She had more stuff than both of us… combined."

"That's not hard. I've never really had much stuff to begin with. That bag I had on the shuttle in Riverside and a small footlocker that Pike's been keeping safe for me was everything. I mean, Sy's got more stuff in his closet than I've ever owned. It's crazy," Jim sighed as she wrapped her arms around one of the cute throw pillows on Gaila's bed and sat down. "It's not fair. Everything she survived…"

"It's funny, she used to say the same thing about you. 'Kirk's been through hell, cut her some slack.' I never did get why she was so protective of you."

"I'm a Tarsus four survivor. If you call that surviving. I still have moments… nightmares, ingrained survival habits... The usual stuff."

"What?" Uhura gave her a look. "No… you were with your family."

"Father's dead, mother's dead, brother is only three years older than me and he split when he was fifteen, abusive alcoholic uncle's dead. Hoshi's dead. Now Gaila's dead. I got Pike, Bones and now Sy… and Spock, Sarek and Amanda. And Phlox. Took me two decades to get anything resembling a family."

"I never realized."

"Nobody does. The idea that I had it easy because I'm a Kirk is actually the part that pisses me off because nobody ever bothers to know who and what I really am. I'm an orphan who's never been anywhere longer than three years. Only a handful of people care to know that. Gaila… I told Gaila because I could see that look in her eyes. The same one I saw in the mirror all the time. The look of someone who had to fight for every inch. The look of someone underestimated. The look of someone who saw the worst but never gave up," Jim sighed.

"Soul sister," Uhura smiled. "Now I understand why she called you that."

"My sister from another mister," Jim chuckled before she looked around the room. "She should be here. She was teasing me about little pointy-eared babies. Now I'm having one and she's not here."

"She really would've gotten a kick outta being Auntie Gaila."

"Hell yea, she would've. If it's a girl maybe Gaila can be her middle name or something. Sy looked it up, said it means joyful in Hebrew and Old English," Jim smiled.

"Well, he would know know all about being a joyful Vulcan, wouldn't he?"

"He would," Jim chuckled. "What are we gonna do with all of this stuff?"

"Her paperwork says that she left some specific stuff for her friend, Virta, which I've already given to her. The rest is left to us and I quote 'play nice and split it up.' Figure we take what we like and donate the rest," Uhura sighed.

Jim nodded, "Fine with me. I call dibs on this pillow."

"Okay but I get the other one."

"Deal."

* * *

 _To: CMDR Kirk, James Tara, SC937-0176CEC, Tactical Analysis Division, Starfleet Tactical Command, Fleet Operations, Starfleet HQ  
_ _From: Doctor Kirk, George Samuel Jr, Archer City Research Facility, Deneva Prime, United Federation of Planets_

 _Hey, sis. I'm glad I heard from you, I was beginning to worry. I swear you got nine lives or something. I mean, I couldn't believe it when I saw the news feeds. You got the guy who killed dad, that's just craziness. I don't have to tell you, you were there. I guess that makes it crazier then crazy though. I mean, what are the odds that you would be the one who brought that guy down? I know I shouldn't be surprised; you've always taken after dad and I guess you were just finishing what he started._

 _I can't promise anything but I'll see if Auri and I can swing some time off to come see you. I've been hiding out here long enough. If you have to face the press, I should probably suck it up. I'm sure there's some kid chomping at the bit to interview the both of us. Congrats on the promotion, considering you saved the world, full commander was the least they could do. Heard a rumor that you're going to be assigned to the Enterprise. That'll be pretty cool, dad served on the last one._

 _I promised myself that I'd keep it short because I'm sure you have a million things to do. I just want to say that I'm proud of you and I know dad would be proud too._

 _I'll see you soon, shorty._

 _Love you,_  
 _Sam._

* * *

 _To:_ _Doctor Kirk, George Samuel Jr, Archer City Research Facility, Deneva Prime, United Federation of Planets  
From: __CMDR Kirk, James Tara, SC937-0176CEC, Tactical Analysis Division, Starfleet Tactical Command, Fleet Operations, Starfleet HQ_

 _Hey, Sammy._

 _Yes, I know the whole thing with Nero is crazy and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. The rumor about the new Enterprise is true, I'm the XO. Both the ship and the captain need some patching up, so we've got a year before we go anywhere. I'm snagged a temporary duty assignment at TacCom under Admiral Reed, the Admiral Reed, until then._

 _Give Auri my best. I still think she's too good for you. I guess you'll probably say the same about my better half but you'll have to meet him first, so get your ass to Earth._

 _For the record, I'm not short!_

 _Love you,_  
 _Jim._

"You and your brother have an interesting relationship," Sybok chuckled.

"Well, considering that he used to hate me for killing his dad, this is progress," she smiled.

"You didn't…"

"Kill his dad. I know. He was a kid, his parents left together then one day his mom comes home with a baby and his dad's dead. Kid logic; I killed his dad. Actually, there are some adults who think I killed George too… it's really idiotic."

"I'm sure. Why are you awake at two in the morning?"

"Between the hormones I already have and the additional ones I'm being injected with, my boobs hurt something fierce."

"Do they?"

"Yes," Jim looked at her husband. "Don't you dare."

"I didn't do anything."

"But you're thinking about touching them," she pointed out. "Please don't."

"What would make you feel better?" he asked, pressing a kiss against her shoulder.

"Well, hot shower worked last time, so I'll probably just do that," Jim sighed as she returned her PADD to sleep mode and sat it on the table.

"Would you like me to accompany you?" Sy asked, dropping kisses against her neck and behind her ear.

"I think you know the answer to that."

"I do know the answer to that," he chuckled before he nipped her earlobe, sending tingles down her spine.

"You're incorrigible."

"No, you are," Sybok said as he got out of bed. "You think I can't feel the lust coursing through you. I can."

"Hormones. I try to keep a lid on that but I'm not perfect."

Sybok wrapped a hand around her ankle and pulled her across the bed, wrapping her legs around his waist. He gave her a look as he ran his hands along her thighs. "Who said you should keep a lid on it?"

"With everything going on, I don't want to be a distraction."

"Is that what you think you are?" he asked. Jim didn't say anything but he could read her mind, more now that they had skin-to-skin contact with each other. "You're not. I like being able to feel you, adun'a."

"I like feeling you too," she smiled.

"I know you do. I also know that there will be some things you can't share with me but your feelings and your desires should never be among them. Our bond is meant to help us experience each other in a way that many couples can't. We are to draw from our bond, not block it."

"Some of that stuff you learned as a kid on Vulcan, huh?"

"Yes," Sy nodded before he wrapped an arm around her waist, picked her up and walked to the bathroom. "The point I'm attempting to make is that you are not a distraction. I'm more unsettled when I can't feel you so don't block yourself off."

"Okay. I won't do it again unless it's something I can't help," Jim sighed against her husband's neck.

"Good. Now, on to more pleasant things," he smiled, sitting her on the counter and stepping back to turn on the shower. "Making you more comfortable."

"I think you just want to grope me," she chuckled as she hopped off the counter and stripped out of her tank top and underwear.

"Perhaps I do," Sy smiled. "However, I can keep my hands to myself."

"Mm hmm," Jim smirked and slid past him to step into the warm water. She didn't believe him one bit.

"I can."

"And if I don't want you to?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Don't look at me like that, adun'a," Sybok sighed. Jim turned to face her husband and watched his eyes scan her body. "Jim."

"Take 'em off or they're gonna get wet," Jim said, referring to his pajama pants. She watched as he took his sweet time getting undressed. "Tease."

"Never," he smirked as he joined her in the shower and gently pressed her against the wall. His warmth mixed with the cold hitting her back sent her nerves into overdrive. It was bad enough that Bones told her that her hormones would either throw her libido in a ditch or rev it up to a thousand. "I don't see any ditches."

"Me neither," she said before she grabbed him by the neck and pulled him into a kiss. Jim was so turned on that it was almost painful. Damn hormones. Sybok didn't seem to mind that she was manhandling him, as a matter of fact, she wouldn't even be able to do it if he didn't let her. "I need… I need…"

"I know," Sy muttered against her lips as he picked her up like she weighed nothing, his hands curling around her thighs as her legs wrapped around his hips. He slowly pushed into her, retreating again only to push deeper.

"Sy," Jim breathed as her head fell back against the shower wall. Bless whoever created her husband because the man was perfect.

"I am not perfect," he chuckled as he pressed kisses along her collarbone.

"We'll agree to disag…" she lost the end of her sentence when he pushed deeper into her. Doesn't matter, he can read her mind so she's sure he'll figure it out. And figure her out is just what he did. Jim's whole body was hyper-sensitive and her husband knew just what she needed. He sped up, drawing moans and cries out of her. "Oh… oh. Sy."

" _You are so close_ ," he whispered in Vulcan. Her whole body tightened around him as he kept moving inside her. The man was turning her into a whimpering, quivering mess.

"Sy… I…"

"I know, k'diwa. I know," Sybok said against her neck just before he moved one of his hands from her leg to her face, bringing their minds together.

You would think she'd be used to that but she wasn't and having their minds so intertwined turned her on more than anything. 'Let go.' The sound of his voice, low and deep, in her head was enough for Jim to come completely undone. Her back arched and she clenched around him. She felt the muscles under her hands go rigid as they pulled each other into their orgasms.

"How'd you do that?" Jim mumbled against his neck as she tried to get her breathing back under control. Yes, their mind-melds usually heighten the sensations when they have sex and, sometimes, they hit that peak together but she had no idea that he could pull an orgasm out of her with his head.

"I didn't. You did that," he chuckled as the hand that was on her face buried in her hair. "I don't know how."

"Really? That was me?"

"Yes," Sy smiled. "You don't have any telepathic abilities, so I will need to do some research."

"Sounds fun," she smiled. He carefully put Jim back on her feet. When Jim's legs refused to work properly, Sy kept an arm around her as she grabbed the body wash. "We may have to experiment."

"I can guarantee that we will."


	19. Chapter 19

"Belief, like fear or love, is a force to be understood as we understand the theory of relativity and principals of uncertainty. Phenomena that determine the course of our lives. Yesterday, my life was headed in one direction. Today, it is headed in another. Yesterday, I believe I would never have done what I did today. These forces that often remake time and space, that can shape and alter who we imagine ourselves to be, begin long before we are born and continue after we perish. Our lives and our choices, like quantum trajectories, are understood moment to moment. That each point of intersection, each encounter, suggest a new potential direction," Jim read the passage out loud.

"That's beautiful. What is it?" Amanda asked from the doorway to Sy's study.

"Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell. Two thousand and four," the younger woman smiled. "They made a few decent movies but the book… the book is better."

"They usually are," her mother-in-law agreed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Well, I threw up on Sy this morning. That was fun. At least I did it before he took a shower. My boobs hurt and I want to jump him every chance I get. My adorable brother-in-law keeps hovering even when he thinks I don't notice but I don't mind too much because he usually brings me food," Jim answered honestly. Amanda was the only person to know exactly how Jim felt so there was no reason to sugarcoat it.

"Sounds familiar. It's a very good thing that they require less rest than we do," the other woman smiled.

"Well, Bones said that it'll probably take a whole team to take care of this kid since I'm such a trouble magnet," Jim smiled.

"He's probably right. When I was pregnant with Spock, Skon would hover just like Spock and Leonard do now."

"Sarek's father?"

"Yes. He died a few years ago."

"Wish I could've met him," Jim smiled.

"You could've picked his brain about Surak's teachings. He's the person who translated them into Standard. And you could've asked him about his father meeting Zefram Cochrane."

"Did he tell Sybok and Spock Solkar's stories?" the younger woman asked.

"He did. It's a good thing too, otherwise they would be lost like a lot of other things," Amanda sighed.

"This thing is gonna suck, isn't it?" Jim asked, referring to the vigil that the Elders were officiating in the garden in a few days.

"Yes. I didn't think you were coming."

"Well, I know the press is probably gonna lose it but I can't walk around pretending not to be married. My husband is going to be there and I'm gonna stand with him. Besides, the crap about me and Spock is annoying, so we're gonna mess with the press."

If Jim reads another article about her and Spock being a couple, she's going to strangle someone. You would think that men and women could never be friends with the way people talk about them. The quotes from random people 'confirming' their 'relationship' only made it worse. Everyone was apparently reading their pseudo sibling rivalry as sexual tension.

Amanda smiled, "I think It's funny."

* * *

"Why do I have to wear this damn thing but you don't?" Bones grumbled as he tugged at his collar.

"Better to ask forgiveness than permission. The brass can bitch at me later for not wearing my uniform, I don't really care. Do you want to wear something else? You and Sy are about the same size, he won't mind," Jim smiled at her best friend. Bones really didn't want to come to this thing but the admiralty thought it would be good optics for the senior staff of the Enterprise to attend.

"I would be eternally grateful. I know the brass wants the publicity but we can wear our uniforms at the memorial service that Starfleet is putting together," Bones said as they walked to Jim and Sybok's room. "You look beautiful, by the way. Where'd you get that?"

"Amanda," Jim smiled as she glanced down at the dress. Fitted at the top, flowy at the bottom with a wide belt and a long shawl jacket thing. It fit in with what some of the Vulcan women were wearing but it wasn't Vulcan. "Pretty sure this was made for me but I'm not gonna ask."

"Wouldn't surprise me," her best friend chuckled when they walked into room. "First things first." He pulled a hypo out of nowhere and pressed at against her neck. It was funny; before they knew she was pregnant, he would practically stab her with the damn thing, now, his touch was so gentle that she barely felt it.

"This should fit you," Sybok said as he stepped out of the closet with a suit in his hand.

"Geez, warn me next time," Bones grumbled at her. Jim knew her husband was there before they even walked into the room.

"But the look on your face is so adorable," she smiled and pressed a kiss against his cheek.

"Okay, infant. Out," her best friend ordered.

"You're in my room," Jim reminded him. "You can't actually kick me out."

"You're gonna watch me get dressed?" Bones raised an eyebrow and glanced at Sybok.

"Don't look at me," her husband chuckled.

"You're not worried about this?" Bones asked.

"Why should I be? She's just getting a rise out of you. Her feelings towards you run deep but they are purely platonic," Sybok said.

"That's good to know, I guess," Bones muttered.

"You love me and you know it," Jim smiled. "When you're done changing, come meet us in Sy's study. That's where team Enterprise will be."

"You're enjoying this," the doctor chuckled.

"Not really," she sighed. "I've just been to more memorial services than any twenty-five-year-old should ever have to go to. Hell, I've been to a few with you."

"That's true," Bones sighed.

"Go ahead and un-fleet yourself, Bonesy," Jim smiled before looping her arm around Sy's and leaving her favorite pain in the ass to change his clothes. They walked together in comfortable silence before her husband looked at her. "What?"

"You are aware that there are non-staff members are in the embassy," he said, glancing at her arm intertwined with his.

"Yes."

"You want them to know," Sybok stated, reading her intent in her head.

"I refuse to hide. That's okay with you, right?" she asked, not that she really needed to. Her husband didn't say anything but she could feel the happiness and pride rolling off of him. "Thought so."

* * *

"This assembly calls Commander James Tara Kirk," Admiral Barnett announced. Jim walked over to stand before him. "Your inspirational valor and supreme dedication to your comrades is in keeping with the highest traditions of service, and to reflect utmost credit to yourself, your crew, and the Federation, it is my honor to award you with the Starfleet Medal of Honor for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of life above and beyond the call of duty." The admiral pinned the medal on her dress gray uniform. "Congratulations, Commander."

"Thank you, sir," Jim smiled as the room erupted with applause.

The whole senior staff of the Enterprise got medals of some kind and/or a promotion but Jim was the only one stuck doing this whole horse and pony show and she hated it. She liked the small private thing that the Vulcan Elders did when she and Spock each got the Vulcan Medal of Valor. The very logical ceremony was more her speed.

As soon as it was acceptable for her to do so, Jim made a beeline to the newly promoted Rear Admiral Pike. He reached up to shake her hand. "Your father would be proud."

"One can only hope," she chuckled. "This is insanity."

"They need the photo op, kid," he told her, their hands still clasped together as their holos were being taken. "Could be worse."

"It is worse," Jim said with a smile despite the topic of conversation.

Some of the reports after the vigil at the Vulcan Embassy were not very nice. She was called a few derogatory names after -completely innocent- holos of her and Sybok were released to the media. Speculation ranged from curiosity to outright anger that she was 'cheating' on Spock with an "unnamed Vulcan diplomat". Fleet public relations was encouraging her to make a statement or attend their press conference or do an interview, which she was going to do that evening alongside Pike and Spock.

"They just got their panties in a bunch because you and Spock make such an adorable pair. There's a few about me and you, some about you and Leo too," Pike said as he released her hand. Jim gave him a look. "Being bored and immobile are not a good mix."

"Well, it would probably be better if it wasn't for our tyrant of a doctor," she chuckled.

"And you better not forget it," Bones said as he and the others joined them. They all talked and -except for Spock- smiled as they pretended not to notice the imagers pointed in their direction.

"Anyone hate these things as much as I do?" Sulu asked.

"Yep," Jim nodded.

"Me," Chekov said.

"Me too," Uhura chuckled.

"I dinnae mind," Scotty shrugged.

Bones smiled, "Of course you don't."

* * *

"Are these the real questions?" Jim asked the reporter in front of her. "A lunatic destroyed a planet with six billion people on it, tried to destroy this one and all you care about is if I'm dating Spock and if I'm cheating on him. Seriously?" She looked at the man, who's name she didn't even bother to remember.

"The public wants to know," he told her.

She glanced at her bother-in-law before she sighed, "No. Spock and I are not a couple. We've never been a couple. We'll never be a couple. The only relationship I have with Spock is that of a friend, a shipmate and a brother. _"_

"And the unnamed Vulcan diplomat you were seen with at the embassy?"

"That 'unnamed Vulcan diplomat', as you keep referring to him, is Lord S'chn T'gai Sybok, son of Sarek, son of Skon of the House of Solkar of the Clan Hqrtcha, the Prince of Gol and Raal, Diplomatic Envoy of the Confederacy of Vulcan. He's my husband and Spock's older half-brother," she said. The title rolled off her tongue like she's been saying it for years when this is the first time she's even attempted to vocalize the whole thing.

"You're married… to a Vulcan?" the reporter asked.

"Yes, I'm married. My husband's species is a non-issue," Jim said. She can't wait to read those news reports. 'Kelvin Baby wife of Vulcan Prince'.

"If I may…" Spock interjected before the guy could ask some -no doubt- dumb question. "The purpose of this interview was not to discuss mine or Commander Kirk's personal lives. My people have experienced a great tragedy. A tragedy in which Rear Admiral Pike, Commander Kirk and I were on the front lines."

"Everyone wants to know about the two of you," the man said.

"They're siblings-in-law. Next question," Pike said before Jim could say something mean; he was nicer than her on any given day. She was going to hurt whoever pre-approved these questions. Sybok was trying to send her some calm but it was only helping a little.

"You killed the man responsible for the Kelvin tragedy. What do you think your father would say, Commander Kirk?" their interviewer asked.

"I don't know. I never met him," Jim answered honestly.

"You must have some idea," the reporter said.

"What a dead man I've never met would think or say?" she asked the guy. "I really don't."

"Her father's been dead for twenty-five years, the same twenty-five years she's been alive. The questions about him are repetitive and pointless. She never met him. Please move on," Pike said. He was just as annoyed at the line of questioning as she was.

"Look," Jim sighed, "we were having a normal day when Vulcan sent up a distress signal and we answered the call. We've been beaten on and banged up. Pike was tortured. Spock lost his home. Our classmates, colleagues and friends died. We did what we needed to do to save Earth and the Federation. My father or whatever my relationship is with Spock means nothing compared to all of that. I don't know what George Kirk would say because the man gave his life so that I could have a life and I would hope that he'd be proud. Even if he's not, the people I care about and who care about me are proud. That's enough for me."


	20. Chapter 20

"How'd I say it right?" Jim asked her husband two days after that dumb interview. He looked up from the PADD he was reading as she dropped into one of the chairs across from him. "I always say your family name wrong and Amanda needed practice. So, how'd I say it right?" She didn't even realize that she did it right until Uhura watched it and asked how Jim pulled it off.

"Our bond. I told Lady T'Pau about…"

"Our sex life. You told her about our sex life."

"I left out the details but when I asked her about your ability to actively use our bond, she asked to see what happened."

"What did she say?" she asked, leaning forward a little and resting her elbows on her legs.

"You are aware that my telepathy is different from a normal Vulcan," Sybok said.

"Because you can read me without touching me before we bonded and you can read your father or Spock when you're in the same room, I know," Jim nodded.

"T'Pau thinks that you subconsciously tapped into my overabundant psionic energy. Somehow, our bond allowed you to… be an active participant in our mind meld," he told her.

"Almost like two Vulcans?" she asked.

"Not quite. All you did was amplify a feeling that was already there," Sy smiled.

"So, when we're… _melding_ , I can tap into your telepathy but only because you have more psionic energy than you actually need. And I can't do anything but make a thought or feeling stronger."

"Yes."

"You think the baby will have abilities too?"

"We won't know until you're further along. Spock is a very adept telepath. His older self is one of the strongest I've seen. They are both hybrids. There is no reason to think that our child would not have that ability. However, as with most hybrids, there is a chance that there is no telepathy at all. We will simply have to wait and see."

"Fun stuff," Jim chuckled. "Is that how I said S'chn T'gai without butchering it, your mind?"

"Yes."

"Huh. That's pretty cool." Jim smiled as she caught on to one of the naughty thoughts in her husband's mind caused by her correct pronunciation of his family name and tried to amplify it. There wasn't much he could do about it anyway.

"If you think I won't take you on this desk, you are sorely mistaken," he said calmly but the heat in his gaze was enough to burn down a building.

"In your office? Lord Sybok, you wouldn't dare," she teased.

He gave her a look before he tapped out a quick message -probably to his aide- and activated the lock on the door. "Lady James, you should know better than to level that kind of challenge at me."

* * *

"You won't get any royal treatment here," a voice from the doorway said as Jim looked around her new -temporary- office in the Fleet Operations Center where TacCom was located. The facility was on the north side of the Golden Gate bridge near what used to be Sausalito and it was actually closer to the Vulcan Embassy than Starfleet HQ's main facility.

"That's good to know since I'm not royal," Jim chuckled and looked at the officer. At about 5'10, with reddish-brown hair and blue eyes, Lieutenant Commander Benjamin Finney -who she recognized from his file- looked like he wanted to be anywhere else in the world.

"Your husband's a prince."

"Of a province that no longer exists. His princedom only carries weight because what remains of the Vulcan High Council says it does. He's a diplomat. Right now, he's in meetings trying to decide the next step for his people," she sighed. "I'm Jim Kirk. But I guess everyone in the fleet knows that for one reason or another."

"Guess so. Ben Finney."

"Lieutenant Commander, nine years in the fleet, served on the Republic, the Ticonderoga and the Locke before being assigned here," Jim said. He gave her a look. "I looked you up when I got this assignment."

"I feel special," he scoffed. She could tell that he didn't like her; it was written all over his face, clear as day.

"Don't. I looked up everyone I'd be working with. I always do," she chuckled.

"I guess being a Kirk gives you access to everything," Finney rolled his eyes. He really didn't like her.

"No. Being the XO on the flagship gives me access to a lot. Especially since my CO has to replace a good chuck of our crew," Jim said as he gave her the evil eye. "I can feel your contempt for me rolling off of you in waves. I get it."

"No offense, _sir_ , but you don't have a clue," he told her.

"Why? Because I'm the pretty little girl with the dead daddy who got lucky?" she asked him. Finney didn't say anything but he gave a small shrug. "So, tell me how my name got me my Advanced Tactical rating or how my score is still the record. Tell me how I got commissioned early. Tell me how my pretty face helped your former CO, Captain Bannock, on Axanar, earning me a commendation. Tell me how my dead daddy helped me when I was fighting unknown creatures on the Farragut, where I got another commendation and a promotion. Or how any of that has to do with me saving Earth from someone who was determined and able to destroy it."

"That…" Finney stopped himself.

"Here's an idea, read my file again. This time, skip my name, my husband's name, the names of my dead parents and that gap of classified information, and read about my degrees, my aptitude and my service. I earned my stripes and it's a damn good thing too because everyone on this planet, and who knows where else, would be dead if I hadn't," Jim told him. "You don't have to like me, Lieutenant Commander Finney, but I do outrank you, so you will stow the attitude."

"Yes, sir," he said.

"Good. Now, Admiral Reed said you'd get me up to speed on my assignments. Says you're one of his best. Was he lying?"

"No, sir."

"Then let's get to work."

* * *

"Do you want to tell me what you did or should I just pull it out of your head?" Jim asked Sybok as she leaned against the counter in the large embassy kitchen, munching on a bowl of baby carrots.

"I don't know what you're talking about, k'diwa," her husband shrugged.

"Does he think we're idiots, Spock?" she asked her brother-in-law, who was watching them with interest.

"I do not know. However, if we were to know what he did, we could each, separately, offer our gratitude and appreciation," Spock said. Jim had to stifle her giggle because she was sure that Spock just made a joke about her and Sybok's sex life.

"It wasn't me. It was Lady T'Pau," Sybok told them. Jim and Spock each raised an eyebrow. He shook his head. "That is creepy, as you like to say."

"Don't leave us hanging, Sy. What happened?" Jim asked.

"She saw the interview and she was as upset as I've ever seen her. While I don't act like it, I am a Vulcan prince, one of three that made it off the planet. Spock is my half-brother and you are my wife, pregnant with my heir. The questions you were asked were rude and disrespectful in a general sense and more so because our house and clan are nobility and you both saved Earth. Even if they didn't know about you, Spock being Sarek's son is common knowledge to the press. The fact that no one even attempted to identify me was also a point of contention with Lady T'Pau, just it is with you," Sybok told them. Yes, Jim got a bit of sick satisfaction from announcing that her husband was Vulcan royalty, even if she doesn't really care about stuff like that.

"Still doesn't explain what she did," she pointed out.

"She went after the whole lot of them. The reporter, his producer and the captain at Starfleet Public Relations who approved the questions, even the admiralty for 'volunteering' you to do the interview," her husband chuckled. "Watching that little, logical woman tear into someone in such a calm manner was so amazing. 'Who are you to speak to mine kin with such disrespect?' and 'The honorable Lady James and the honorable Lord Spock not only deserve your respect but their actions demand it'."

"She said that?" Spock asked.

"Yep," Sybok nodded. "How did you know?"

"You mean other than your immense joy?" Jim asked. He nodded. "Pike told me that Captain Puth, the officer from Fleet PR, was suddenly assigned to some outpost out at the ass end of nowhere and the reporter and his producer were both quietly fired. I figured it's was you but Lady T'Pau makes a lot of sense. She's always been badass."

"That she is," Sybok smiled. "So, Spock said something about gratitude?"

"I would offer Lady T'Pau my thanks, however, I am sure she would think it illogical," Spock said.

"Probably," she chuckled. "Since I can't thank her, I will have to thank my husband."

"What did you have in mind, k'diwa?" Sybok smiled.

"Nothing I can say with your brother in the room."

* * *

AN:Gold star if you know who LtCmdr Ben Finney is.


	21. Chapter 21

"Oh, come on. You have got to be kidding me," Jim groaned. "I'm not going."

"You have to go," Pike told her over vid-com.

"I hate these things and I don't want to be the center of attention," she said.

"It's not just you. Me, Leo, Spock, everyone else… we all have to go," he told her.

"Feels like the only thing we do now. I mean, they let us go back to work but every time I turn around they want us to go to some party. I'm not going."

"You have to go, Jim," her mentor chuckled.

The brass was ordering them to attend the annual Night of Heroes, a Federation dinner that takes place at the beginning of April. It's been almost two months since Nero and everything had just started to die down. At least, she thought it was dying down. Her father-in-law got someone to handle PR for her and Spock so they wouldn't have to deal with it themselves.

"Can I just pretend for a moment that I don't?" Jim smiled.

"You can but I doubt it would help."

"Figured as much."

"How's Jelly?"

"Jelly's good," she smiled. "I'm surprised Bones doesn't give you updates."

"He does but I like hearing it from you," he said with a wink.

"Been busy."

"Haven't we all."

"You aren't supposed to be that busy."

"That's what Leo says," Pike smiled.

"Listen to him. He's a pain in the ass but he cares about us," Jim sighed.

"I know."

"Are you guys going to this thing together?" she asked. Other than a handful of people, there weren't many who knew Pike and Bones were together. Aside from Jim and Uhura, the senior staff of the Enterprise didn't even know. Spock might know but Jim wasn't sure, she doubts Uhura would ever say anything but Spock is very observant.

"We're considering it. That'll be hilarious. After all the rumors linking you to one or both of us, me and Leo showing up as each other's date to a fancy party would be something."

"You should totally do it."

"Why, so they don't focus on you?"

"No. So that everyone can see that smile that's on your face right now. It's adorable."

"I'm an admiral, I can't be adorable," he chuckled.

"Too late for that, Chris."

* * *

"You seriously weren't kidding," Sam chuckled as he looked at the PADD in her hands. 'Kirk Spotted with Mysterious Man. Is her Marriage on the Rocks?'

"This is what happens when I hug my brother in public," she laughed. Two freaking hours. He's been on the planet for two hours and people were already speculating that they were a couple and that she was cheating on her husband.

"It's a bit ridiculous." Her brother just shook his head.

"You look just like George, how nobody put that together is beyond me." Doctor George Samuel Kirk junior was literally the spitting image of their dad. The only difference between the two Kirk men was the length of Sam's hair; their dad kept his short but Sam's falls in his face.

"What are you gonna do?" he asked.

"Nothing. It's already being handled. I don't even care that people talk crap about me, it just pisses me off that it's more work for the embassy's media attaché. He has enough stuff to do without adding this to mix but I suppose that this is what happens when idiots run the press," Jim sighed. In a few minutes, Baleeza Gral, a joined Trill and the embassy's media master, was going to make a quick and simple statement; Jim and Sybok are happily married and the man in the images is her brother Doctor George Kirk Jr. "The trick will come later this week when I don't drink alcohol at that stupid dinner."

"Why not?"

"Really, Sam," she gave him a look. "Why wouldn't I drink?"

"You're…?" he said pointing at her stomach.

"Just hitting twelve weeks," Jim smiled before she found herself wrapped in a big hug.

"That's awesome. Two little baby Kirk's at the same time," Sam smiled. Aurelan, Sam's wife, was just over seven months pregnant, which is why she decided not to travel to Earth with him. "I bet everyone's excited."

"Those who know, are. Outside the family, the Enterprise's senior staff, a few embassy staffers and Admirals Phlox and Reed, we're keeping it to ourselves."

"Makes sense considering that the baby's a hybrid. Not telling anyone before your twentieth week is a smart move. Unless you start showing," her brother chuckled.

"Still flat as a board. I had to switch to yoga, tai chi and some light jogging to keep from going out of shape," Jim chuckled. "Though, Bones said I'm getting pudgy."

"You're not. He just likes messing with you," Sybok said as he walked into the room with a smile. "You're perfect."

"I am not," she rolled her eyes as he kissed the top of her head.

"You must be Sam," her husband greeted her brother.

"And you must be Sybok. Nice place you got here," Sam said as he motioned around the study.

"Thank you. It was always my space but Jim's kinda taken it over a bit so some of this is her doing," Sybok smiled.

"My office is in another building and you have two of them," Jim pointed out.

"I like the fact that you're so comfortable in here," he chuckled. She picked up from his head that it made the room more his space than anything else. Jim even caught a glimpse of her sleeping on the couch with a book on her chest. 'What's mine is yours, beloved.'

'Stop being adorable,' she thought at him. He just shook his head.

"Did I miss something?" Sam asked.

"Vulcan telepathy," Jim chuckled.

"You had a conversation with each other in your heads?" her brother raised an eyebrow.

"It's wasn't a conversation, per say," she smiled. "Maybe I'll explain it to you over dinner or something."

"You're gonna cook?" Sam asked, the alarm on his face was almost comical.

"No, I am," Sybok said. "We generally don't let her in the kitchen."

"Hey! I can cook," Jim said.

"Not really," her brother chuckled. "Last time she tried…"

"Finish that sentence and I'm gonna kick you," she told him.

"It was inedible," Sam said before trying to dodge her foot. Jim caught him in the shin.

"She's gotten better," Sybok said. "But it's safer for all involved if I make dinner."

"Nobody's perfect," Jim said. "You can't blame my lack of cooking skills on me, nobody but Pike ever bothered to teach me."

"I suppose that's true," her brother agreed. "Winona wasn't really the 'prepare your kids for the future' type."

Jim snorted, "Who?"

"Exactly," Sam said. "You're not gonna be like her."

"How could you possibly know that?" she asked.

"Because you care about people who aren't even related to you, there's no way in hell you would ignore your own child. Hell, I don't think you have it in you to ignore any child," her brother said.

"That's what Christopher and I have been trying to tell her," Sybok said.

"Our mother did a number on her and I didn't help, but I don't have to tell you that. Just give her some time," Sam said with a shrug.

"You guys do know that I'm right here," Jim said.

"We know," the two man said in unison. Oh, no.

"If you guys team up on me, I'm gonna tell Bones," she told them.

"He doesn't scare me," her brother said. Sybok slowly shook his head. "What?"

Sybok sighed, "I will do a lot of things but even I don't want to get on Leonard's bad side."

* * *

"I got two dates, oh. I two dates, yea," Jim sing-songed as she and Uhura got ready for the dumb dinner of dumbness… that's dumb.

"If the wrong person heard that, you'd be in for it," Uhura chuckled.

"Because nobody has ever gone to a function with their husband and their secret lover," the commander chuckled. "Maybe we should switch it up. I'll go with Sulu and you can go with Bones."

"Then Pike and… Scotty could go together while Chekov shows up with a harem. Your brother can be Spock's date," Uhura laughed.

"That would be epic," Jim laughed as visions of Spock and Sam showing up arm in arm to an official function filled her head.

"What are you two up to?" Sybok asked from the doorway to Spock's room with a smile. Jim stared, yes stared, at him.

"Trying to figure out how you always look so… good. I mean, _damn_ , Sy," Jim said. He went with pre-Federation Earth old school black tie and he looked… there weren't really words for how good he looked. Jim decided in that moment that Sybok's officially not allowed to wear suits or tuxedos without her nearby because she'll have to kill anyone who touches him. How the hell did she end up married to all that?

"You should see what I see," he smiled in that way that makes her all swoony. "You didn't answer my question."

"You asked a question?" the blonde muttered. Jim felt like a love-stuck teenager. 'Brain doesn't want to work at the moment.'

"He did," Uhura chuckled. "We're thinking up how to get back at the press tonight. Figure if we mix up the pairs and add the singles, we could throw 'em off. Or at least have them chasing their tails."

"You two could just go together," her husband pointed out.

"That's too obvious," Jim chuckled. "Could go as a group. We'll all be each others dates."

"That would actually be cool," the communications officer smiled. "Want me to comm everyone and see if they're up for it?"

"Go for it. The press has been making our lives hell, it's time to exact a little revenge," Jim smiled.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Sybok said with a smile. "Nyota, do you mind giving us a moment?"

"Not at all," Uhura smiled. "I'm gonna go call Sulu."

"You know that this is your brother's room, right?" Jim asked as soon as her friend left them alone.

"I'm not going to ravish you, even though I want to. I have something for you," he smiled, pulling a small jewelry box from somewhere.

"What's that?"

"I realized the other day that our marriage is full of Vulcan traditions but no Human traditions."

"I haven't actually noticed. I mean, I'm not a traditional person and neither are you," she pointed out.

"That's true but I actually like this one. It's an excuse for me to give you pretty things."

"What did you do?"

"I bought you a ring," Sybok smiled and handed her the box. Jim opened it and found three rings; a large oval-shaped diamond on a diamond band, a simple diamond band and a plain band, slightly bigger than the others, all of them in a white metal. "Well, two. The plain band is for me but the others are for you… if you want to wear them."

"You know I'll never get away with wearing the big one all the time," Jim chuckled.

"I know, it's just for showing off," he smiled.

"You know, the tradition is that we place the rings on each others fingers," she smiled. "Maybe we should..."

Sy nodded and took the diamond band out of the jewelry box. "With this ring, I... stay wed." He slid the ring on her finger before pressing a kiss against her knuckles. "Perfect."

"With this ring," she smiled as she took his band out of the box, "I stay wed." Jim slid the ring on her husband's finger before she brushed two of her fingers again his. "We're silly."

"Yes we are," he chuckled. "Are you going to wear that one?"

"Tonight I will. Like you said, it's for showing off."


	22. Chapter 22

"Commander Kirk, over here."

"Commander Spock, what is your relationship with Commander Kirk like?"

"Sybok, how does it feel to be married to a hero?"

"Commander, do you have a statement?"

"Admiral Pike, word is that you're planning to retire. Can…?"

"I'm gonna strangle someone," Jim muttered under her breath. Sybok and Spock were the only people in their group that heard her but it was enough.

"That is enough," Sybok said loud enough for everyone to hear him. Normally, nobody pays any attention to this dinner but they weren't that lucky this year and the place was crawling with press. Her husband held up a hand and everyone seemed to quiet down. "First things first. I'm not married to a hero; I'm married to Jim. Jim being heroic is just part of who she is, I've known that since I met her, you're the ones who just figured it out. Now, I have a bone to pick… I believe that's the saying. I think all of you have forgotten that these people are people. You follow them, you call into question their interactions with others, you pry into their personal lives and you have absolutely no regard for what they have been through. They lost friends, colleagues, family… home. And now, you're all determined to rob them of their privacy. They saved this planet and the Federation. Is it too much to ask that you all back off?"

You could almost hear a pin drop which, considering that they were outside in downtown San Francisco with a few hundred of people, was damn impressive.

"I lost my homeworld. I almost lost my brother. I almost lost my wife. The hardest part of all of this wasn't Nero. It's been watching the treatment you subject my family to with this… insanity. My wife can't hug her brother in a shuttleport without you calling her derogatory names and calling our relationship into question. Jim and Spock have repeated told you all that they are friends and siblings-in-law, that's their relationship, and yet, you still report that they're more. Admiral Pike has answered the question about his retirement sixty-one times in the last month. Each time, giving the same answer; no, he's not retiring. They nearly gave their lives so that we could be here. Tonight is to honor them… so honor them. Let them have their night," Sybok said as he took Jim's hand.

'Tell 'em how you really feel, Sy,' Jim said through their bond.

'That was just the nice version, trust me,' he replied with a look.

'Oh, I know,' she looked up at him. 'You know they're gonna call you crazy or touchy.'

'No, they won't. They upset my father and the Elders enough already, they'd only make it worse if they started talking about me negatively.'

'Lucky you.'

'I am lucky. I get to help you take that gown off later.'

She smiled, 'After that display, Opidsu Sybok, you do can do a lot more than help with this gown.'

* * *

"You do know that I'm awake, right?" Sybok asked as she ran her fingers along his back.

"I know. It's very sweet that you pretend to be asleep though," Jim chuckled quietly. He's been awake since she got up to throw up an hour ago. Bones and Amanda had both warned her that her morning sickness could last for a while, she just took it in stride. She did have to talk Sybok into not fussing over her unless she asked him to, so he just pretended to sleep while she ate crackers, sipped water and did some light reading.

"Anything for you."

"Oh, I know," she smiled into the dark. "News feeds are out already. Some people are applauding you for sticking up for us."

"And the others?" he asked.

"There are a few who think you should've stayed out of it but none of them have dared to say anything bad... about any of us. We'll probably have to wait and see but I have faith in your awesomeness," Jim chuckled. "We should've let you go off on them sooner."

"I don't know why I didn't think of it," her husband sighed.

"I do," she said. "You said it yourself; you lost your homeworld, you almost lost me and Spock. Plus, you're working on finding somewhere for the new colony to go. And you're going to be a new dad. That's a lot to worry about."

"I am Vulcan, my brain processes information faster than yours. I should have spoken to the press sooner. Saved you the stress."

"You can't save me from everything."

He rolled over, gently pinning her down as he did. "I am aware that you can handle yourself. That said, you are my wife and there is nothing I wouldn't do to make your life easier." Sybok pressed a soft kiss against the corner of her mouth. "What's more, you know that."

"I know… It's just…"

"You're used to fighting your own battles. I'm aware. I would never try to take that from you, it's part of who you are and part of why I love you. What I'm telling you, what I've been telling you, is that you are no longer on your own. I am here and I am a bit more… diplomatic than you. So, you fight with your fists, after the baby's here, and I will fight with words. Together, we are unstoppable."

* * *

"We're being followed," Sam muttered.

"Tell me something I don't know," she chuckled. They decided to go out and have lunch before he had to go back to Deneva. "They can follow us if they want."

"You're not worried?" her brother asked.

"Nope. Sy set 'em straight," Jim smiled. "At least, that's what it seems like. They haven't made much of a peep about any of us in a negative light in the last three days."

"Good. I can only image what someone would've said last week about the two of us walking arm in arm."

"Don't care. What are they gonna do? There's no way to negatively spin a trip to the memorial."

Since he left Earth thirteen years ago, he hasn't been to the Starfleet Memorial and Jim made him a promise to visit.

"Do you know where his name is?" her brother asked.

"Of course I do," she smiled. Pike helped her find it years ago when she mentioned to him that she'd never seen it. Her dad was listed on a special plaque for commanding officers who were in killed in the line of duty. Someone had petitioned to have George listed with Robau and the brass agreed. She pointed, "Right there. Row three, ninth one down."

"Do you mind giving me a moment?"

"Not at all," Jim gave her brother's arm a squeeze before he stepped away from her.

She watched as he approached the wall and ran his fingers over the letters of their father's name. Jim could tell that he was talking, even though she couldn't hear what he was saying. Considering that he's never been here before, she was sure he had plenty. Hell, considering that the only time she could come here is if she did it in the middle of the night when no one would notice, she had a few things to say. Jim wasn't going to say any of it out loud because they were being followed by at least three guys with imagers.

After ten minutes or so, Sam motioned for her to join him. Jim walked over to stand with her brother, who put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "He used to make the best pancakes," Sam muttered. "In the shape of starships."

"I love a good pancake," she chuckled.

"Of course you do, you're a Kirk."

"Any other tidbits that I don't know?"

"I can sometimes remember him making up bedtime stories. Sound effects and hand gestures and the whole nine yards. Usually, I was more awake afterwards then I was when he put me to bed. Mom's stories were okay. Nothing like dad's."

"I wish I could've met him," Jim muttered, giving voice to a thought that has lingered in her head for as long as she could remember.

"If there was any way to save you and mom and still make it out, he would've taken it," Sam told her. "You're a lot like him. I mean, I look like him and I got his name but you… you got his bravery and his determination and his big heart."

"You got his brains."

"We both got those."

"Do you really have to go back?" she sighed.

"Aside from my pregnant wife, I have a ton of stuff going in the lab that I had to pawn off on other people," he reminded her. "I'll be back after your nephew is cleared to travel."

"You promise?"

"I promise," Sam told her. They were quiet for a few minutes before he started talking again. "I know I was a shitty brother growing up…"

"Sam…"

"I was. I won't even attempt to justify it. I was an ass and I left you," he said.

"You already apologized," Jim pointed out. "A few times, in fact."

"I know but it's something that I'll never be able to shake. You needed me and I left you with Frank. I can't help but wonder where you would be if I had taken you with me."

"I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't know the people I know and be the person I am. So, as much as my childhood sucked, it got me here."

"You really are the 'glass half full' type," Sam chuckled.

"Nope. I'm the 'screw the glass, I know where the river is' type."


	23. Chapter 23

"I can't believe they ordered us to be here," Jim muttered to Pike. The commanding, executive, chief science and chief medical officers of the Enterprise had enough to do with a ship being fixed and their temporary assignments. They didn't really have time for some meeting at HQ. Well, Pike might; his office was in the building.

"This is how being the big heroes goes, kid," Pike chuckled.

"In other words, this is what we get for saving the world," Bones grumbled, giving his boyfriend a look.

Pike chuckled, "Pretty much."

"You're all here, good," an officer, a little older than Pike, said as he walked into the room. "I'm Vice Admiral Gordon, FleetPR. First, I want to apologize for Captain Puth's actions. That's not how we do things."

"That was months ago," Pike said.

Gordon nodded, "It was but I thought it would be wise to apologize in person. I…"

"Want something from us," Jim said, cutting him off. "No offence, sir, but I live with diplomats. I know politics when I see it. You want something from us. You're an admiral, you don't have to give us pointless apologies for things that another officer did months ago."

"And I thought you were gonna be the difficult one," Gordon smiled. Jim could feel the quiet chuckle that Pike let out; she is the difficult one. "This is good. Makes my job easier. Whether you like it or not, you are the faces of the fleet, and even the Federation. We need you to use that popularity."

"What?" Bones asked.

"They are attempting to use our status as heroes in an effort to increase the public's opinion of Starfleet and boost recruitment," Spock said.

"I got that," the southerner said. "My question is what do they want with me? I'm not a publicity person. I'm not even sociable. Other than Jim, Chris, my daughter and Ny, most people avoid being around me longer than they have to."

"He has a point," Jim chuckled. "I love you, Bonesy, but your bedside manner is atrocious."

"Thank you, Jim. It took years of practice," Bones shrugged.

"You're missing the point. I'm not asking," Gordon told them. "These are the orders."

"What do you want us to do?" Pike asked.

"We have a list of appearances that you will need to attend. They are optional for the other members of the senior stuff but the four of you are mandated," the PR officer told them.

"What about our jobs?" Bones asked. "I save lives for a living. Jim is over at TacCom solving problems…"

"We're aware. Again, this is not a request," Gordon said. Bones looked like he was going to say something else but Pike shook his head and the southerner's mouth snapped shut.

"The fleet has already approved for me and Spock to make appearances with the Vulcan Ambassador," Jim said. "Are you saying that we have to cancel those?"

"No. Most of them overlap," Gordon told them. Jim glanced past her mentor to her best friend. She raised an eyebrow.

Bones gave her a nod, "If I deem something hazardous, I'll pull Kirk and Pike out."

"You don't have the authority to do that," the admiral from PR told them.

"Actually, I do. Starfleet regulation seventy-one tac nine-bravo states that the treatment and transport of a patient is to be performed at the discretion of the attending physician. In their case, that's me," Bones said. "If I see something I don't like, I'll pull them from this circus so fast it'll make your head spin. You may outrank me but medical authority supersedes just about everything."

"Are you injured or ill?" Gordon looked at her.

"You're well aware that you can't ask me that, sir, and I don't have to tell you," she said. Yes, Jim was being bitchy, she was missing lunch for this thing. She'd taken to bringing snacks to work with her but they were back in her office. She was going to raid Pike's office for food as soon as Gordon let them out of here. "It's a personal matter."

"I hate to break it to you, Kirk, but you don't get to have 'personal matters' anymore," Gordon said.

"I was born in a shuttle while my father died fighting Romulans, the only thing I've ever had to myself is my medical information. Pardon me if I don't share it with everyone… sir," Jim told him. Her body, her baby, her terms. That's what Phlox told her the last time they talked to each other. As long as her duties weren't affected and her medical record was updated, she didn't have to tell anyone outside her chain of command if she didn't want to.

Gordon gave her a look before he jumped into the purpose of this meeting. There was no way out of this, around this or through this. Jim and company were given a schedule of things to do and places to be before Gordon let them get on with their day. The four officers went to Pike's favorite restaurant near HQ. The place always had good food but the most important thing it had was privacy.

"You didn't tell him about jelly," her best friend said after downing his whiskey.

"Nope. None of his damn business," she said, glaring at the empty glass in his hand. "I hate you so much right now."

"No you don't," Bones winked. Jim could drink synthetic alcohol if she really wanted to but she didn't want to risk it.

"When are you planning on telling everyone?" Pike asked.

"Sybok thinks we should probably do it sooner rather than later. I won't fit into this uniform forever," Jim said. "I barely fit into it now."

"You are scared," Spock said.

"You live my life and you would be too. Since FleetPR is gonna have us running around like a bunch of dancing monkeys, I can't keep it hidden much longer. I'm surprised people didn't figure it out yet," Jim sighed.

"Your bump isn't that big and your uniform hides it if people don't know it's there but most then again, most people are idiots," Pike said.

Bones chuckled, "Ain't that the truth."

* * *

"You wanna know the gender?" Bones asked Jim and Sybok at her appointment. Most of the time, he just saw her in the embassy but to do the visual scan, they had to actually go to medical. Jim and Sybok watched the four dimensional hologram in awe. She couldn't get over the pointy baby ears.

"Do we want to know?" Sybok asked Jim, one of his hands rubbing her neck.

It was something that she thought long and hard about. Bones has known for months; the tricorder told him the chromosomal make-up from the beginning and he's scanned her before. He asked if she wanted to know around eight weeks but Jim had him wait until the twenty-second week before he asked her again. Despite his usually grumpy attitude, Bones was a big softy and he waited just like she requested.

"Yes," Jim said. "I wanna know… and so do you."

"I do," her husband smiled. "Leonard?"

"Sybok, my friend, you're gonna have your hands full with two Kirk women," Bones smiled.

"It's a girl!" Jim smiled.

"It's a girl," her best friend nodded.

"She called it," she chuckled.

"Who?" Bones asked.

"Lady T'Pau," Sybok smiled, his hand resting on Jim's little baby bump.

"Well, Lady T'Pau is Lady T'Pau. I doubt there's much she doesn't know," Bones said. He had a soft spot for the tough old woman who stayed at the embassy even when the other elders found themselves other accommodations.

"Wait until I tell my brother," Jim smiled. "And your brother."

"Spock just hopes that the baby is healthy and delivered safely," Sybok said, the smile permanently etched into his features. "We're going to have to tell the press about the baby now, Jim."

She looked at her husband, "You do it."

"You want me to do it?" Sybok asked.

"The press listens to you and they seem to like you," Jim reminded him.

"We'll do it, together," her husband said. "A small press conference at the embassy wouldn't be difficult to arrange. We can do it today, if you want."

"Do I have to?" she pouted.

"Yes," Bones said. "We had this conversation. You can't hide it forever."

"I know that. I just don't want to be the one to have to tell them. They badger me with questions."

"Well, maybe you won't have to talk to them. I have an idea," Sybok smiled. "Let me talk to Gral first."

"Fine by me," Jim said as she hopped off the bio-bed.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bones asked her.

"She wants to warn Christopher and Sam," Sybok said, hearing the answer in her head. "I should do the same with my family before I go back to work."

"Yep," she smiled. "Once we open this can of worms, it's open."

* * *

"How did you get him to do this?" Jim asked as she watched Sarek on the screen.

"You are carrying his first grandchild. I told him that you didn't want to talk to the press about it and he offered to do it himself. He'll only tell them what he wants them to know," Sybok told her.

"So…"

"You're pregnant. You're healthy. We're all happy."

"That's it?" she asked, looking at him.

"That's it. He's ignoring their questions," her husband said. "Well, except that one." Jim turned her attention back to the screen.

"Yes, Lady James was pregnant during the Narada Incident. She was not aware of that fact until she was examined upon our return to Earth," Sarek said on the screen.

"He just lied," she muttered. "I thought Vulcans couldn't lie."

"We can lie, we just don't."

"So why did he?"

"Because if he were tell them that you found out on the ship, everyone would call your actions into question more than they already do. You didn't know until after Nero was dead but most people won't see the distinction. My father is forcing them to. You saved the world, then learned that you were pregnant. It's not a lie, per say."

"If you say so," Jim chuckled.

He kissed her head, "I do."


	24. Chapter 24

"I thought I made myself clear that you were to run everything by me," Admiral Gordon practically yelled when he walked into her office like he owned it. Yes, he outranks her but you can't just charge into places in the TacCom section of the building. Jim could see Finney behind the admiral with his arms crossed, glaring at the back of Gordon's head, he wasn't any happier about the intrusion than she was.

"You should think carefully about what you say next," Admiral Reed said from the chair across from her, turning to look at the man. "You don't get to yell at my officer. If you have a problem, you bring it to me."

"Sir," Gordon said. "She blindsided me with this pregnancy news."

"Did you?" Reed asked her.

"I didn't do anything out of regs, sir. It's my right not to disclose medical info with him. But, if Admiral Gordon is gonna gripe about the ambassador's announcement, then he needs to take it up with the ambassador. Of course, he should know that Lady T'Pau, the de facto leader of the confederacy and our clan matriarch, lives at the embassy, so he should tread carefully if he heads over there," Jim said. "Though, I wouldn't mind being a fly on the wall when someone tells the Vulcan ambassador that he's not allowed to announce an addition to his family."

"You did this on purpose," Gordon glared at her. "You knew you were pregnant when we met and you didn't mention it."

"Permission to speak freely, sir?" Jim asked Reed, the ranking officer in a room. He gave her a nod. "I don't want people to know about my pregnancy at all but since I'm being forced to make appearances, by Fleet PR, it was decided, by myself and my family, that the best course of action was to let my father-in-law announce it. You're not mad that I didn't tell you, you're mad that you don't get to use it for publicity. I'm a Starfleet officer; my child is not. As such, the baby has nothing to do with you. I didn't get the option when I was born; people stuck imagers in my family's faces and got what they wanted before they all disappeared. My brother and I have two decades worth of emotional scars from people just showing up when they want something from us, that is not happening to my child."

"I can force you to…" Gordon tried.

"Do nothing," she said. "I'm a tactical officer, I have a dozen different plans for every scenario. You don't even know half of what I'm capable of. If you think for one second that I'm gonna allow Starfleet to use my child as a recruitment tool, you have another thing coming. I'll walk. And if that happens, I can guarantee you that the crew of the Enterprise will walk too. You think recruitment is down now, just wait. Not to mention, you'll piss off the Vulcan High Council. They may not have a planet anymore but they still have power and I'm family. So, ask yourself; what do think will happen if I have to choose between pleasing a bunch of officers who only give a damn about me when it's beneficial to them and my child's privacy and safety?" He didn't say anything, he just looked at her, realization crossing his features. "Exactly. My child is off the table. I will answer questions about my pregnancy at my leisure, that's it. If you don't like it, sir, report me. My CO is right here."

"I stand by my officer's decision. If there's nothing else, Gordon, we were in a meeting," Reed said. The annoyance on his face was obvious; he was too old to pretend for anyone any more.

"Understood, sir," Gordon glared at her before he walked out of the room.

"What is with everybody?" Jim asked as she leaned back in her chair. She's not perfect but she's been catching attitude from almost every officer she's encountered in the last few months. "Is somebody pissing in the fleet's coffee supply or something?"

"The brass… Well, most of the brass is scrambling. The whole Nero thing is something we should've figured out a long time ago. We had that data for twenty-five years; it took you half a minute to put together," Hoshi's old friend told her.

"Is that my fault, sir?"

"Not at all," he said with a sigh. "What I'm about to tell you isn't to leave this room."

"Understood."

"I thought the Narada was gonna come back after we lost track of it. There was even a plan, buried in the system somewhere now. Had we made that tactical information available, we wouldn't've lost those seven ships over Vulcan and we would've been in a position to save the planet."

"They ignored you."

"You're as smart as Hoshi said you were. Yes, I was called, among other things, a crazy old man who needed to be put out to pasture. Now, Starfleet Intelligence, more specifically, Internal Affairs in conjunction with the Inspector General's office has launched an investigation. When the hammer drops, it's not gonna be pretty. That's why PR has you and your sidekicks running around doing publicity."

"So, a whole lotta cover your own ass… With me and my friends in the middle," Jim groaned.

"Pretty much."

* * *

"Can you guys speak Standard?" Jim asked the three doctors in the room with her and Sybok.

"You and the baby are doing fine, right on track," Phlox smiled.

"Thank you," she chuckled. "See, Bones, that's how you talk to patients."

"Watch it or I'll hypo you into next week," her best friend said.

"You wouldn't do anything to hurt the baby and we all know it," she pointed out.

"Fine, I'll hypo Sybok into next week," Bones countered.

"That's just mean," Jim sighed. "Bad enough you're kicking these appointments up to every two weeks."

"It's actually standard practice starting at the twenty-eighth week," Doctor M'Benga told her. "Even though normal Vulcan pregnancies are a month longer than Human ones; we're aiming to get you safely to forty weeks."

Lieutenant Commander Jabilo Geoffrey M'Benga was the Starfleet officer that Amanda told them about. He was one of the first human doctors to specialize in Vulcan medicine, having gone to school on Vulcan until just before it's destruction. According to Amanda, M'Benga was her doctor's top student and protégé with an extensive knowledge of Vulcan physiology and psychology. Bones brought him and Phlox in on her pregnancy months ago but this is the first appointment where she's had to see all three of them at the same time.

Since he has experience with Human/Vulcan hybrids, starting with the genetically engineered daughter of Trip Tucker and T'Pol, Elizabeth T'Les Tucker, and extending to other hybrid children since, Phlox usually visits her office every few weeks to check on her. He administers her hypos when Bones isn't available for whatever reason and he even came up with a formula that spreads them out a little. Jim knew Bones just liked to mess with her.

"You're going to get annoyed with us," Phlox told her. "I know that the fleet has you doing a bunch of stuff but I'm gonna have to ban you from traveling after thirty-two weeks. And I'm placing you on medical leave at thirty-six weeks."

"A month or more with nothing to do. That sounds like hell," Jim groaned.

"Better that than bed rest, which is what we're trying to avoid," Bones told her. "As long as everything goes as it's supposed to, and you do what you're told, there shouldn't be a problem. I don't want to have to admit you to the hospital until the very last second. So, as annoying as it is, you're gonna have to suck it up."

"Fortunately, we're not there yet," Sybok said, his hand in hers.

"We are not. We're just giving you a heads up," Bones said. "You know that if she feels off in any way, let us know."

"I'm right here," she said.

"Your arm could be cut off and you'd tell me it was a scratch. He'll actually comm me," her best friend smirked.

Jim rolled her eyes, "If you say so."

* * *

"Come on," Jim said, grabbing her husband's hand.

"I have work to do, k'diwa."

"You can take a break to have dinner with your wife," she told him as she tugged him through the embassy. "Especially since we'll have our hands full when the baby gets here."

"Dining area is in the opposite direction," Sybok said.

"I know. We're not eating in there."

"No?"

"Nope," Jim smiled as she pushed open one of the doors to the garden. She tugged him towards the midnight orchids were there was a picnic set up for them.

"How did you pull this off without me noticing?" her husband asked with a smile.

"When you were really busy and distracted, I asked Amanda for help. I figure it's a nice night and we haven't had a picnic out here in a while. Don't worry, I didn't cook any of this."

"Your cooking isn't bad."

"Liar," she chuckled as they both sat on the blanket. "My cooking is passable."

"Better than inedible," Sybok chuckled, his eyes lingering on her.

"What?"

"You're beautiful."

"So are you," Jim pointed out.

"But we're talking about you," he smiled.

"Stop," she muttered, covering her face with her hand.

"No," Sybok said, his fingers running along hers. "You are beautiful. Gorgeous. Alluring."

"That's not fair," Jim whispered. She was trying to form longer sentences but the whole finger touching thing gets her all the damn time. "Complement me when I get back into shape."

"Firstly, you're not out of shape, you are growing a person, there's a difference. Secondly, I love what I see. So, stop trying to hide from me."

"Can't help it. I'm not really used to not fitting my clothes," she told him. At twenty-three weeks, Jim caved and bought maternity clothes. It was annoying, practical but still annoying. "I don't know what you see but I have to remind myself that there's a kid keeping me out of my favorite pair of jeans."

"Do you want to know what I see?"

"I don't know, I guess."

"Come here," he told her.

"Sy…"

"Just come here," Sybok chuckled. Jim sat sideways between his legs, her legs were on his right thigh. "I'm gonna show you something and I want you to pay attention."

"Okay."

"May I?" his hand in front of her face. Jim nodded. "Our minds, one and together."

It didn't take long before she could see herself though his eyes. Jim doesn't know exactly when this is but, judging by the fact that she was wearing one of his shirts to bed instead of her own, it was sometime in the last week. He was lying in bed, watching her sleep, his hand running through her hair. He was also checking her over, like he does a million times a day. Seventeen breaths per minute. Heart beating at sixty-eight beats per minute. Temperature thirty-four point one degrees Celsius. He was making other observations but she didn't focus on them. If Jim had his ability to process information like that, the universe would be in trouble. Well, more trouble.

'You're focused on the wrong thing,' Sy said in her head. 'What else am I thinking about?'

Jim refocused. She realized that Sybok was hoping that the baby had her features because she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

'Am not,' she thought.

'You are,' his voice replied. He showed her other thoughts, like the day they met, just to reinforce his point. He also showed her a moment when she was in the hospital after the Farragut. She was banged up but she was smiling.

'Now I know you're crazy. I was a mess.'

'A mess of beauty and bravery and selflessness. Watching you after you got that ship back… that's when I knew I was in love.' Sybok released her from the meld and smiled. "Like I said; you are beautiful."

"I am unworthy."

"We are unworthy together."


	25. Chapter 25

"Have you seen this?" Nyota asked Jim when they, and Sulu, were having lunch together near the embassy.

"Seen what?" Jim asked. The other officer handed Jim her PADD, on the screen was a picture of Jim and Sybok at the Old Town Festival. 'Commander Kirk's Pregnancy Style'. "Really?"

"They talk about all the clothes you've worn since the announcement and some of the stuff you wore right before that because, they now realize, you were covering your bump," the linguist chuckled.

"Don't they have better things to focus on?" Jim asked. "My husband and his... brother," referring to Old Spock, "found a suitable planet for a colony and the ground work has been started. That should be what everyone focuses on. Not my choice of white shorts in California in August. I'm pregnant and it was hot; that's a no-brainer."

"They also talk about your diet," Sulu smiled, leaning over to change the article. 'Is Commander Kirk Being Forced to Give Up Meat? Sources Say Yes'.

"What the fuck?" Jim laughed. "Wait until I show this to Sy. We had a whole conversation about this."

"But you did go vegetarian," her badass katana welding buddy pointed out.

"Yes, but I wasn't forced, it was my choice. Sy, Bones and Phlox made sure I was sure before they even let me. As soon as this kid stops breastfeeding, Pike's buying me a really big steak," Jim laughed. "It's sorta a Vulcan thing but I still had a choice."

"Vulcans don't believe in killing unless it's necessary, even to eat," Nyota told Sulu. "They don't eat meat as part of that practice. I think the problem some people are having, Jim, is that you're not Vulcan."

"I know but the baby is. If Spock is anything to go by, this kid is gonna be more like Sy than me. I decided that I can go a while without meat for the baby and if Jelly wants to adopt my normal diet when they get older, that's fine. Besides, Sy is a really good cook, I'll eat about anything he puts in front of me and he doesn't eat meat."

"If Spock cooked all the time, I'd go vegetarian too," Nyota chuckled.

"See," Jim said. "Those sexy Vulcans and their cooking skills."

"I wonder who the sources are?" Sulu said. Both women looked at him. "I mean, nobody in the embassy would say anything about you; Vulcans are notoriously private and Lady T'Pau seems to like you so I doubt they'd want to get on her bad side. Nobody on the Enterprise lets conversations get past 'Commander Kirk is doing well' when we're asked about you, your brother isn't shy about telling people to fuck off when they talk about you and TacCom can't even acknowledge that you work there. Who does that leave?"

"Fleet PR. Has to be," Nyota said, shaking her head. "They need a distraction from all the inquires, you are it. I know you told Gordon that the baby was not going to be used for PR, I'm thinking he's found himself a loophole. Your eating habits have changed but it's only because of the pregnancy."

"I hate that guy," Sulu grumbled.

Jim chuckled, "You and me both."

* * *

"T'Kin?" Sybok said. "Golden lady."

"No," Jim shook her head. "T'Lara? Lady blue desert bird."

"I don't like it," he chuckled.

"You guys are going traditional?" Amanda asked as she and Nyota walked into the dining area where Jim and Sybok were eating breakfast.

"Thinking about it but nothing seems to fit," Jim smiled. "What about T'Rea?"

"No. As much as I love my mother, many Vulcans considered her a heretic and I wouldn't want my child to have to deal with that. Having a Human mother and a father who, now, publicly embraces his emotions is going to be interesting enough," Sybok reminded her.

"What about T'Mak?" Nyota asked. The two women shared a look.

"I've never heard of that one," Amanda said.

"You wouldn't, Ny just made it up," Jim smiled.

"Lady of joy," Spock said as he joined them. "It is very nontraditional."

"That's because it's the Vulcan equivalent to Gaila," Jim said, "which means joyful in a dozen languages; Hebrew, Old English, a few Orion dialects."

"T'Mak…" Sybok muttered. "I don't like it. Can't we just name her Gaila?"

"You want to name the baby Gaila?" Jim asked.

"She was your friend and you loved her," her husband said.

"She would get a kick out of that," Nyota smiled.

"S'chn T'gai Gaila Amanda or Gaila Amanda Kirk if she wants to go that way," Jim said out loud, testing the way the name sounded.

"She likes it," Sybok said.

"What?" Jim looked at her husband.

Sy rested a hand on her growing stomach, "S'chn T'gai Gaila Amanda." His eyes drifted closed and he smiled. "She likes it."

"You can hear Jelly?" Nyota asked.

"She doesn't like it when we call her Jelly but she likes Gaila Amanda," Sybok smiled.

"You're giving her my name?" Spock's mother asked in awe.

"We decided on that when we found out that she was girl," Sybok said.

Giving the baby Amanda's name was actually the easier part of this whole thing, they didn't even have to talk about it, it was just a given. When Sybok's mother died, Amanda stepped in to care for him, not to replace T'Rea but to be there for him when he needed it. Never knowing Winona and only having a year with Hoshi, Jim didn't really know what having a mom was like until she got to spend time with Amanda. Having someone -that wasn't Pike- checking on her and giving her advice and -the best- hugs was such a new -but welcome- thing. Jim figured that as long as she could be a little like Spock's mother, she'll make a decent mom.

"I'm named after my grandpa, she's gonna have her grandma's name," Jim smiled.

"Technically…" Spock started but Jim just pouted at him. "Never mind."

"How'd you do that?" Nyota asked.

"I cried on him yesterday, he doesn't want a repeat of that," Jim chuckled.

"We should go, Jim," Spock told her after everyone had a good laugh at his expense.

"I guess so, Jim sighed. "Gordon already hates us. If you guys are late to this thing, he'll bitch more than usual."

"He will," Sybok smiled. "Your emotions are hilarious when you have to deal with him."

"He's a pain in my ass," Jim chuckled.

"Well, I won't let him mess with you," Amanda said.

Jim, Spock, Pike and Bones were going to the Federation Day festivities at HQ. It was one of the appearances on their list and everyone but Scotty and Chekov, who were at Earth Spacedock working on the Enterprise, decided to go with them, even Amanda. Technically, it was the first day of Jim's thirty-sixth week and she didn't have to go but Federation Day isn't really something she could just ignore. This would be her last official appearance on behalf of the fleet since Phlox put in her order for medical duty the night before. Jim was just glad she didn't have to wear a uniform, maternity or otherwise.

"See, grandma is already in protective mode," Jim smiled.

"You got that right," Amanda said. "Are you going to join us, Sybok?"

"Work or spend my day with my favorite girls?" he asked sarcastically.

Jim chuckled, "That's a yes."

* * *

Mingling. Jim really hates mingling. She was never one to blow smoke up peoples' asses and she sure as hell wasn't going to start that shit now. Jim did her best to smile politely and ignore dumb or intrusive questions but it was getting on her nerves. Sybok, on the other hand, did a good job of interacting with these idiots and Jim found herself a little jealous that she couldn't pull that off without sounding fake.

'Practice,' her husband thought as he glanced over at her. He was talking to some Andorian diplomat.

'I know,' she thought back.

"Commander Kirk, do you have a moment?" someone asked Jim from her left side. Jim looked at the woman and internally cringed. The woman was trying to fake it but Jim could smell a reporter from the next sector over.

"Just one," Jim said with a small smiled.

"There are sources claiming that the Narada Incident could have been prevented and a handful of high ranking officials have been let go from their positions as a result. Inquiring minds want to know what the Savior of Earth thinks about the situation," the woman said.

"As an active duty officer, it's against regulations for me to comment on politics. You, and everyone else in the Federation, is well aware of that fact," Jim told the woman.

"So, you do have thoughts on the matter," reporter girl said.

"I have thoughts about a lot of things, as does everyone else. However, I can't talk about those thoughts with you," Jim told her with a small smile.

"Okay, but as the Kelvin Baby, does it bother you that the man who killed your father got to run around the galaxy for twenty-five years when he could have been stopped sooner?"

"There's no simple way to answer that, so I'm not going to," Jim sighed.

"Commander, I…"

"I think that's enough," Pike said as he walked over and stood next to Jim. "The commander has answered your questions as best as she can according to policy. You know better than to ask her about any of this, especially today."

"People want to know, Admiral. We're tired of Starfleet hiding behind a code of silence. People want to hear what Kirk has to say without the admiralty's filter in front of her mouth," the woman said. Lady has a damn good point.

"You have a name?" Jim asked.

 _"_ Alice Tanowitz-Parker, Federation News Service correspondent."

"I'll contact you tomorrow. I can't answer all your questions but I might be able to answer some of them," Jim said.

"You'd do that? You'd give me an exclusive?" Alice asked her.

"I would," Jim smiled. "Just stop asking questions in here, the brass is getting twitchy."

"You got it. Thank you, Commander," the reporter said before she ran off.

"Was that a good idea?" Pike asked.

"Well, everybody wants me to talk. She was the only one brave enough to approach me and she didn't ask about my husband, my clothes, my diet, my due date or my baby bump. I figure that I could at least give her chance," Jim shrugged.

"Oh, I guess you missed the latest gem," her mentor said with a chuckle.

"Do tell," she smiled.

"There's a rumor that the Enterprise's chief medical officer is getting married again," Pike said.

"There is not," Jim chuckled before she looked at him. "You're gonna ask."

"Thinking about it," he smiled. "You can't tell him."

"I won't… I just… These hormones are a doozy. Hey, Bones."

"Jim," her best friend gave her a look. "You okay?"

She smiled, "I'm just fine."

* * *

AN: There are a few dates for Federation Day, I went with the one on October 11th.


	26. Chapter 26

AN: This one was harder to write than I thought it was and I ended up having to edit it, rewrite it and edit it some more before finally going with this version.

* * *

After a long conversation with Sybok and Sarek, another conversation with Admirals Pike, Archer and Reed, and a thorough look though Alice Tanowitz-Parker's background, Jim decided to do an interview with the FNS correspondent. For the first part of the whole thing, Jim gave Alice and the video-imager operator a tour around the embassy. Now, they were getting set up to do the one-on-one thing in Sy's study.

"Don't be nervous," Alice smiled.

"I'm not nervous," Jim said with a small chuckle. This thing was going to air live, Alice was determined to get Jim's voice out there and the only way it couldn't be edited all to hell is if they did it this way. The part they filmed around the embassy would be used for later viewings. "This is better than all the stuff the fleet had us doing."

"I can imagine," the other woman said. "I've worked with Fleet PR on a few occasions. For a group of people that is supposed to make Starfleet look good, they have horrible people skills."

"That's what Scotty said," Jim laughed as the guy with the imager gave Alice a thumbs up. "Are we ready?"

"We are, Commander," Alice said.

"Please, just Jim," the Starfleet officer smiled.

"Okay. Jim it is," Alice said with a nod just before she was given the signal to begin. "Jim, we're gonna start off with an easy question. What put you on this path of being a Starfleet officer?"

"Christopher Pike. When most people meet me, they assume a lot about my life and usually they're wrong. Admiral Pike is one of the first people to see me and not a ghost of my father. He recruited me in a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa and he just challenged me. I never had that before. I spent the whole night just thinking about what he said, knowing it wasn't going to be easy, wondering what my father would think or say and hoping that I could make a difference somewhere. I decided that even if I didn't like it or if I didn't make it, I would have at least tried. So, I got on the shuttle the next day and here we are, nearly four years later," Jim answered with a smile.

"Can you talk about your training?" Alice asked.

"I generally try not to. As a tactical officer and an intelligence officer, there's a lot of training that I can't talk about. Everything that's standard Starfleet training, everyone knows about."

"I suppose that's true. Tell me, what's your greatest inspiration? What kept you motivated?"

"There was a moment at the end of the Narada Incident. We just cleared the singularity and I think Spock realized it too because we shared a look. But there was this moment when I knew that everyone was safer because of something that we did. It wasn't about my father or the Kelvin or even Nero. It was this moment where we all realized that we just stopped someone, who had the technology to destroy planets, from destroying anything else. That is what Pike challenged me to do. He told me to do good and to be better. In that moment, I was sitting in his chair on his bridge being better than the bad guys. That's what motivated me and now that I've had that feeling, I want to continue to do good and be better. Every day."

"Being a Kirk, I'm sure people have tried to stand in your way, how do you overcome that?"

"For starters, I'm smarter than people think and Pike is quick to remind them of that fact. I let my actions and my service speak for itself. I rarely correct misconceptions but you mess with my family, then it's whole other conversation," Jim chuckled.

"Speaking of your family," Alice said, "There are many people wondering just how you ended up married to a Vulcan prince."

"We met on Vulcan at a diplomatic function two years ago. I was doing some diplomacy training he was there in his role as envoy. We talked philosophy and family, kept in contact after I had to return to San Fran and then his father assigned him to work from here. The rest is history," Jim said, a bright smile on her face.

"Every time you talk about your husband, you smile. Big and bright. I know some people think that this is a marriage of convenience."

"There's nothing convenient about it. It comes with questions and people wondering and there have been some messages sent to the embassy where people are upset that he married a Human and/or that I married a Vulcan. But you can't help who you fall in love with. I actually tried to talk him out of dating me once, we see how that turned out. Sybok is just… he's amazing and I don't have the words to describe him most of the time. I try and nothing comes out. I find myself in awe of him. He says the same about me, so…"

Alice nodded, "What are your personal ambitions? Yours and Lord Sybok's?"

"Right now, we're just focused on the baby. We intended to move but then Vulcan was destroyed and we decided that we'd rather be close to family, which is great because I get to spend time with Lady Amanda and Ambassador Sarek. We just want to embrace being with these people that we love. Blood, legal or otherwise, you shouldn't take the people around you for granted. As someone who knows all about losing family and not having those people growing up that I should've had, that's what I focus on."

"That leads into my next question. You have a long and storied history with Starfleet that many people don't know about. Especially with your family. What is it that people don't know about you that they should?"

"I was talking to Lieutenant Uhura a couple months ago and we ended up on the subject of my family. Uhura, like most people, thought that I was raised by relatives but many people don't realize that I don't have any. Other than my brother, everyone else is dead. He and I, and now his son and my child, are the end of the Kirk line. Hopefully, our children will have children and our family doesn't die with the four of us."

"Who raised you?"

"Umm… For the first six years of my life, I was with my mother but she didn't actually raise me. She hated me. She blamed me for George's death and she only did what was necessary so that I wouldn't die. I spent a lot of time in daycare. After that, she took an assignment and my grandfather, James, looked after me and my brother. He died about seven months before my mother did. Her brother, Frank, took us but we steered clear of him. He was angry and he was an alcoholic and he resented us more than my mother did. That's when my brother ran away; I was twelve. After an incident where Frank beat the crap out of me and put me in the hospital, I went to Tarsus Four to live with Hoshi Sato and her husband. Wasn't even a whole year later, Kodos massacred the place. I wouldn't say I survived, I just didn't die. After Starfleet showed up, and I found out Frank was dead, I bounced around by myself. I tracked my brother down but I didn't stay with him. I went to Tycho City got my first master's degree then bounced around some more. Eventually, I came back to Earth. One day, shortly after I turned twenty-two, walked into a bar, got into a fight, looked up and Pike was standing over me. He's been keeping me in line ever since. It gets to me sometimes that people don't bother to do a little research when they talk about my childhood."

"Well, I did do a little research and I know that people talk about your father, who you never knew, but I think the more appropriate question would be about you and Admiral Pike. I've heard some rumors about the two of you, like everyone who lives here, but I saw you guys interacting on Federation Day and all I kept thinking was he could be your uncle."

"I'm gonna call him that just to see his reaction," Jim chuckled. "Pike is like having a dad who's too cool to be your dad. He gives off a big brother vibe sometimes too. I guess uncle would work." The commander smiled. "I remember when we met on Tarsus. He was leading the away team and I don't know how but he knew who I was. If it wasn't for him, my identity would've been released back then. Which would've been really bad because I saved some kids and Starfleet wanted to keep our identities under wraps. Anyway, he let me lead his team to them. Now, some of those kids work for the Federation, one is in the Academy, some are parents. I'm about to be a parent. I realized last year that he kept tabs on me and he's very good at guiding but letting me make my own mistakes and just being there for me when I do. I don't know where I would be without him. When he was on the Narada, I kept having to push that out of my head in order to do my job, like he taught me. So, yea. That's me and Pike. There aren't a lot of people like him and I'm lucky to call him my friend."

"You mentioned Tarsus Four and Starfleet wanting to keep things classified. Now, they're doing it again with a lot of the Narada information. What are your thoughts on all of that?"

"My problem with the fleet hanging on to information isn't that they do it. I'm a tactical and intelligence officer, I know that you can't tell everyone everything all the time. My problem is when they hide things unnecessarily and then people are left to wonder after something bad happens. A little over a hundred years ago before the Federation was formed, people were upset that the Vulcans weren't telling Starfleet things and we weren't even sure who the Andorians were siding with. We created a divide between ourselves, the terrorist groups popped up and the Xindi killed millions. We were so busy hiding things from each other that we almost got obliterated. Now, people are saying that we could've stopped Vulcan from being destroyed if the right information was available. I wish I could deny that but I honestly don't know."

"That makes you sad?"

"It does. The idea of the Federation was always cooperation and I feel like we lost that somewhere. We're explorers, we weren't meant to be as militant as we've become. I know that Admiral Archer and Admiral Reed try to keep the original ideals alive and I wonder what will happen when they aren't here anymore. It's up to me and Pike and everyone we serve with to remember what came before. To be that ideal that Archer's crew fought for. I don't want to be politically correct or a stanch follower of orders, I want to do the right thing for the right reason. I want to know when I leave this life, that I made the universe better somehow. What's more, I know I'm not the only one who feels that way."


	27. Chapter 27

"You should see the numbers from your interview," Pike told her a few days after Jim's talk with Alice. It was generally well received with the public and many people in the media. There were the few naysayers and jerks but Jim expected it. Fleet PR was silent but Jim knew that Archer had personally headed them off on her behalf.

"Don't care," Jim smiled. "I got to say what I needed to say, that's enough for me."

"People are using 'Do good, be better'," he told her. "They're saying it's a call to arms and Starfleet has seen a rise in recruitment."

"You're kidding me," she looked at him.

"Nope. People have taken your message of leaving the universe in a better place to heart. Good job, kiddo," Pike smiled.

"I wasn't trying to recruit people," Jim sighed.

"I know that but that's kinda what makes it better. You were just being honest, which is something the public isn't really used to from the fleet anymore. According to Barnett, some of the newest recruits are saying that you're trying to fight the good fight and you can't do it alone."

"I didn't set out to be some leader or some hero."

"Too late," he chuckled. "What about this one?" Pike pointed to a ring.

"No, it's not really Bones," she smiled. "What about this one?"

"I like that one," Pike said. "Do you think this is crazy?"

"That you want to marry Bones?" Jim asked. He nodded. "No. As different as we are, the three of us have one thing in common; we've all become really good at being alone. The reasoning is different but the result is the same. I'm pretty sure that's why we formed our mini-family. It's taken a lot for me to realize that Sy's not going anywhere and that's with a telepathic marriage bond. I know Bones' big thing is that he doesn't want to be in a position like the one he was in with Jocelyn. And you… you put your career in front of everything for so long, then you almost died and realized that it's not worth it. I don't think it's crazy that you wanna wake up next to somebody you love."

"You know, you're starting to sound like me," he smiled.

"Yea, well, most kids sound like their parents eventually."

"If that's the case, that would make Leo your future step-dad," Pike chuckled.

Jim shrugged, "True but it also means that Joanna's my little sister, so there. I win."

* * *

"Why do you have a tricorder?" Jim asked her brother-in-law.

"Because the alternative was for Leonard to hover over you," Spock said. "It was decided that since I have training with medical equipment and my presence in the embassy is normal that I would be best suited to surreptitiously monitor your well-being."

"Why aren't you being surreptitious now?" she groaned. Jim knew that just about everyone was keeping an eye on her, some more obvious than others, but the fact that Spock stopped pretending to watch her and was actively checking her over was a bit worrisome.

"Because I hypothesized that your contractions are getting stronger and I was correct," he told her.

"How could you know that?" Jim asked. He was right but it was a little creepy.

"You keep clenching your jaw every time a contraction hits. They are getting stronger and I just confirmed as much. I need you to continue taking deep breaths while I contact Leonard. He will undoubtedly want you to go to the medical center."

"They're just Braxton Hicks, Spock, they'll go away."

"No, they are not," her friend told her. "I believe you are in active labor."

"It's too early," she said. A normal Vulcan pregnancy was forty-four weeks, Bones wanted her to get to forty, she was at thirty-nine weeks and two days.

"I am aware," he said, one hand typing on his communicator and the other squeezing her shoulder. She took as deep a breath as she could manage, her hand wrapping around his wrist. Jim looked up at him and she could tell he was worried. That was not comforting at all.

Everyone picked a hell of a day to not be in San Francisco. Sybok and Sarek were in Paris at the Palais de la Concorde, the Federation seat of government, where the Federation Council Chambers and the office of the Federation President. Jim knew that her husband didn't really want to go but when the President of the Federation asks to see you, you can't really say no. Amanda was in Seattle to see her sister. Bones and Chris were in Georgia. Scotty, Sulu and Chekov were up at the spacedock. And Phlox was off planet. Uhura, the only one in town other than Spock, was teaching classes at the Academy.

"I don't know if I can do this," Jim muttered.

"You can and I will be with you until my brother arrives," Spock told her before he contacted the transporter room at Starfleet Medical.

"I don't know if that's supposed to make me feel better," she chuckled just as the familiar swirl of the transporter surrounded them.

* * *

"Breathe, k'diwa," Sybok said as he rushed into the room. His hand in hers was

"Would everybody stop telling me that," she growled.

"They would if you'd listen," Bones said as he pressed a hypo against her arm. "I just gave you a mix of drugs. One is designed to help the baby's lungs, one's an antibiotic and the last one is slow down your labor in order for the others to work."

"You can't just stop the contractions?" Jim asked.

"I could but I don't think it would be best. She's coming and I know it's earlier than we'd like but I think baby Gaila has a better chance out here than if we let her stay in there," her best friend told her. Jim felt the tears stinging her eyes. "Jimmy, listen to me. I'm not gonna let anything happen to her. You just gotta trust me, kid. Do you trust me?"

"What kind of question is that?" she glared at him.

"Do you trust me?" Bones asked again, his hazel eyes locking with hers.

"Yes," Jim told him. "I trust you, Leonard."

The doctor smiled, "Don't call me that."

* * *

"I hate this," Jim muttered. Sitting still was not one of her talents. Bones had her confined to bed and it was making her restless. Sybok, bless him, was trying to distract her with the story about his visit to Paris but Jim just didn't care.

"Tell me a story," he told her as he lay next to her in the bed allowing her to use him as a pillow.

"What?"

"Tell me a story. Anything you want," her husband smiled.

"I don't know any stories," she sighed.

"You're a horrible liar."

"No I'm not, you just have an inside track to my head," Jim said with a small smile.

"There it is. That beautiful smile that I love so much. I was beginning to worry," Sybok chuckled.

"Shut up," she smiled despite the pain she was in and the worry that hung over her like a little black raincloud.

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked. "I mean, have you seen that smile? It's like starlight. You know it's a normal, natural thing but you can't help but marvel in the wonderment of it."

"Do you know how unfair it is that you get to be all… you and I'm… well, a mess?"

"I do believe that this is my doing," Sybok smiled, the memory of their first night together on his mind.

"It is. I should kick your ass."

"You think you could take me?"

"I took out Nero so, yea," Jim chuckled.

"That is a fair point. However, I couldn't fight you," he told her. "Aside from being more pacifist than not, I would never be able to harm you."

"Would you please stop being so damn cute?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I'm cute, I can't help it," Sybok smiled.

"If she has even half your charm, I'm screwed," she laughed just as a contraction hit. Sybok let her squeeze the crap out of his hand and ran the other through her hair.

"If she looks even remotely like you, I'm screwed."

"I doubt it."

"I don't," he said. "The thing about having an eidetic memory is that even when I can't see you, I see you. You own my katra, k'diwa. So will she."

"You're gonna make me cry," Jim said, trying to hold off the tears as her heart swelled with the love they feel for each other.

"You're having a baby, I'm sure it's allowed."

* * *

"How is that even possible?" Jim asked Bones, the tiny bundle snuggled against her chest.

"I don't know. I'd have to run some tests," her best friend smiled.

"No. No extra or unnecessary tests," Sybok said. "I can tell you how this happened." Jim, Bones, Spock and Amanda looked at him. "She's a Kirk."

"Really, that's all you got?" Bones asked.

"Do you have a better explanation?" her husband asked.

"No. I guess not," the southerner grumbled. "One look at her mother and it's almost a given."

"Technically, she's on trend," Amanda said. "I mean, Spock got my eyes."

Jim smiled, "She'll certainly stand out. I mean, how many other Vulcans have ever had blue eyes?"


	28. Chapter 28

"You look good up there," Jim said to Chris as he leaned against the door frame. She was watching a replay of him on the news feeds.

"I'm alright. I'm sure they would've preferred you," he smiled.

Because Jim went into labor all kinds of early, it was decided that an announcement from Jim's inner circle would be the best way to let everyone know what was going on without too much detail. So, shortly after she gave birth, Chris went outside and told the camped out press that 'Baby Kirk' had arrived. He was also the person handling Jim's communications.

"Where's Sybok?"

"Nursery. Bonesy said he still didn't like the way Gaila's lungs sound, so he's running some scans and Sybok went with her. I think he's worried that she'll disappear if one of us isn't right there," she smiled, then yawned as he took a seat next to the bed.

"Well, can't blame him. You Kirks all have a habit of finding trouble, I doubt she'll be any different. How do you feel?"

"I'm great."

"Liar. Try again."

"I'm tired. Worried. More worried than tired. I do tired really well but I'm not so good with worried," Jim told him. Other than the handful of times she got to feed or cuddle Gaila, Bones has had her daughter in one test or another.

"She's gonna be okay, Jim," Chris said with a smile.

"How can you be so sure? I'm her mother and there's absolutely nothing I can do about any of this. She's two days old and I feel like I've already failed her," she sighed. "Maybe if I were Vulcan we wouldn't be in this predicament. I would've carried to term and we'd be on our way home. I feel so inadequate."

"Hey, you have no way of knowing that. Mothers go into labor early all the time it doesn't matter what species they are," he said as he reached over to wipe the tears off her face. "She's going to be okay, Jimmy. That kid has you for a mom, she's tough by default. Besides, you know she's in good hands with Leo and M'Benga. Phlox should be back soon too."

"I know. It's just…"

"There's nothing you can do and you hate that feeling. It's part of who you are," Chris said. "I'm telling you, it's going to be okay. Has to be. Where else am I gonna find a cute little baby Vulcan with blue eyes for the wedding holos?"

"He said yes?!"

"He said yes. I honestly don't know why but he said yes."

"You're awesome, that's why," Jim smiled. She knew he was just trying to distract her from thinking every horrible thing that was running through her head. It wasn't really helping but she went along with it anyway, if only to make him feel better. "And to think, I had to talk you guys into going out with each other."

"Yea, yea. You called it."

"You do know that blue eyed Vulcans are just rare, right? It's a recessive gene but it's not impossible," she said, her thoughts catching up with the rest of his words.

"I've never seen one," he chuckled.

"Sarek has but the rest of us haven't. Even Sybok and Spock were surprised by her eye color."

"She had to get something from you or people would wonder," Chris smiled. "At least, the crew would wonder."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing is official yet but the Enterprise is probably gonna have more than standard crew members."

"Families authorized?"

"Working on it. Not just little Gaila but Joanna and a few other children. Some civilian scientists. Maybe a diplomat," he told her, referring to Sybok.

"You're kidding," Jim gave him a look.

"No. I probably would've said something sooner but Barnett told me not to," Chris shrugged. "He thought it was best not to get everyone's hopes up."

"And you're telling me now, why?" she asked.

"Because it's almost a sure thing, which means you and Sybok should probably have a long conversation about being on the ship together… or not. I will need to know if he wants in so the Federation doesn't assign us some fresh-faced diplomat who doesn't know their ass from their elbow."

"He'd probably have to switch from the Vulcan Diplomatic Corps to the Federation Diplomatic Corps."

"I don't know the details of that but we have six months before we leave to figure it out."

"Six months? I thought it was only four," Jim said.

"Was but I just got cleared by medical, my first officer just had a baby and there are some holes in the roster, they let us have some more time," he smiled.

"This has nothing to do with the shakeup at HQ?" she asked.

"What have you heard?"

"That Alexander Marcus is out as the commanding officer of the fleet," Jim told him. She may be on medical leave and in the hospital but the good thing about having smart friends is that they give you a heads up when big things happen. It helps even more when one such friend is an admiral who heads up TacCom.

"Reed told you," Chris guessed.

"Of course he did. Something about Marcus being naughty and the Federation Council removing him from his position."

"That's a nice way to put it. Marcus had resources diverted for some clandestine projects and the brass was not happy to learn about that. A few other high ranking officers are getting their walking papers but Marcus will be lucky if he doesn't end up in a penal colony."

Jim sighed, "How bad?"

"He had a secret starbase where he was building advanced ships," he said before leaning closer to her. "There's some intel that points to Section Thirty-one."

"That's just what we need; those assholes running around. I mean, they claim to be all about the Federation but they cause more trouble than they're worth."

"No kidding," Chris chuckled.

"Who's do they have in mind to replace him?" she asked.

"Barnett or Komack," he told her.

"Hmm. I can see the advantages of both. Barnett is certainly more likable than Komack but Komack, even though he's an ass, doesn't like politics. He'll tell everyone what's going on as much as he can," Jim said.

"That is what Barnett said when I talked to him. I'm okay with it going either way."

"Me too," she smiled. "Thanks, Chris."

"For what?"

"Giving me something else to think about for a little while."

"Anytime, kiddo."

* * *

"You probably made some nurse's night," Jim smiled when she walked into the special care baby unit. Her husband was sitting in a big chair, shirtless, with their daughter against his chest.

"Leonard said that skin-to-skin contact would be beneficial. Not just for her," he smiled.

"I know. It's called kangaroo care," she said, running her fingers through this hair. "It's supposed to help with her health. It's also meant to help us bond."

"You know, this is not your fault, Jim," Sybok looked up at her.

"Feels like it."

"It's not. If anything, I'm to blame."

"How so?"

He glanced around, "Pon farr. I, like you, thought that without medical intervention and with your contraception, we would not have to worry about having a child for a while. That we would be fully prepared when we decided to have children. I was wrong."

"Sy…"

"I know what you're going to say."

"The same thing that you would say; it's not your fault. I just talked to M'Benga and he said that this is pretty common for hybrid children. And Pike reminded me that she's got no other option but to be a tough cookie; it's a Kirk family trait. We can't blame ourselves. We have to remind ourselves that it's going to be okay. That Spock is living proof that even with our different biology, she can still thrive."

"Your optimism is a welcome feeling from earlier. What else did M'Benga say?"

"Nothing that I didn't already know. I think I just needed to hear it from someone who doesn't know me that well," Jim smiled.

"You are stubborn that way," her husband said with a smile as he pulled her onto his lap, somehow managing not to disturb Gaila. Something warm and welcome settled in her chest at being cuddled up with her husband and their child.

She chuckled quietly, "Takes one to know one."

* * *

"You didn't tell me that you were engaged," Jim said, lightly punching her best friend in the shoulder while he scanned her with the tricorder.

"Well, we've all been a little busy, you know, bringing your child into the world," he smiled.

"Still could've said something. Thinking up stuff for your wedding would've been a good distraction," she told him. "Why aren't you wearing your ring?"

"How do you know there's a ring?" Bones asked. Jim gave him a look. "You helped him pick it out, didn't you?"

"Duh. I'm the only one close to both of you. Why aren't you wearing it?"

"Because I don't want something to happen to it," he chuckled before giving her one of his rare smiles. "You are free to get the hell outta this hospital, not that you'll actually go anywhere without the baby but I am discharging you."

"How much longer will Gaila have to stay?" Jim asked.

"Her lungs sound better and as long as she continues to thrive, I can hopefully release her the day after tomorrow. Kid's a fighter."

"She's got my DNA so…"

"Scaring me half to death then being okay is an inherited ability. You did good, Jim. I just want you to know that. I've seen more babies than I care to count and you did good. She's gonna have a long and healthy life," Bones told her.

"Stop trying to make me feel better, Chris and M'Benga beat you to it."

"Oh, good, I suck at being nice."

"It's why we love you, Bonesy."

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Chris muttered as they looked out the doors of the hospital. The place was swarming with press waiting for Jim, Sybok and baby Gaila to leave. "We could probably beam you guys to the embassy."

"There's no point," Jim sighed. "They want to see us together."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Bones asked.

"Well, we could let them get a glimpse now or we could be trapped in the embassy for months," Sybok pointed out. "I'll carry Gaila, you hold my hand."

"I'll drive," Chris smiled.

"I'll ensure that no one gets too close," Spock said.

"And I will ignore all those idiots and get back to my shift," Bones shrugged.

"See you later, Bones," Jim chuckled.

"Later, kid. Mister kid. Kid's brother-in-law. Darlin'," her best friend smiled.

"See you at home, sweetheart," Chris said before giving Bones a quick kiss.

"Aren't they so adorable?" she whispered to her husband.

"They're alright but not as cute as us," Sybok smiled.

"Well, we have a baby; she tips the scale in our favor."


	29. Chapter 29

"Do you ever think about how crazy this is? I mean, I ran to Starfleet to get away from one marriage and now I'm walking into another one. That sounds crazy. Am I crazy?" Bones looked at her.

"Yes. You are crazy," Jim smiled.

"You're not helping," her best friend said as she tied his tie.

"Well, there are some who consider love to be a form of insanity. You go out into the universe and some cosmic force draws you to one person, or more than one if your culture's polygamous, and you would do anything for this person. Suddenly, nothing makes sense without them. When you're not getting along, everything is off. When they're happy, you're happy. When they're sad, you're sad. Love is crazy. You are in love so that makes you crazy, makes us all crazy. The best kind of crazy."

"Who are you and what did you do with Jim?"

"I'm me. The girl you met on that shuttle was just drifting. Not sure where she fit in the universe. The woman you know now is whole and home. I had to grow up eventually," she smiled. "Homicidal Romulan kidnapping my mentor, who also happened to be your boyfriend, seemed like a good time."

"I think we all aged a little during that whole thing. You more than most of us," he sighed. "I uh… I owe you, Jim. I don't know how it is that I've never thanked you but… I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't gone over to that ship for Chris. I know, you two have your own thing and you didn't save him for me but I'm grateful none the less."

"You are welcome, even though you're wrong. I'll admit that I had my own reasons for storming the castle to get him back but you were a very big reason why I couldn't leave him over there. I figured if anyone deserved a happy ending, it was you two. And look at that, I was right. Yay, weddings."

"Are you ever gonna have a real wedding?" Bones asked.

"I had a real wedding, verified by Lady T'Pau and everything," Jim said as she checked his hair.

"You know what I mean. Are you ever gonna have a human wedding?"

"No. As much as I would love to force you into your dress uniform and make you write a speech, I think enough of my life has been made a spectacle for other people's amusement. The wedding I got was… it was everything that me and Sy needed," she smiled. "Now, let's go get you hitched, Doctor Pike."

"Keeping my name, just like you did," he told her.

"Actually, I didn't keep my name. I only know two people, aside myself and the Vulcans, that can say S'chn T'gai without butchering it half to death. Kirk's just easier. So like I said, let's get you married, Doctor Pike."

"You don't mess with Chris like this."

"Actually, I've been calling him Admiral McCoy all week. Unlike you, he thinks it's cute."

"It's a little cute."

* * *

"Don't give me that face. I know you're smarter than me but can we pretend that I'm the smart one for a little while? I mean, seriously. You're six months old, cut it out," Jim said. The baby smiled at her. "Don't do the cute thing. You're adorable, we all know it. You get it from your dad."

"She thinks she gets it from you," Sybok chuckled as their daughter, who was sitting on their bed and chewing on her hand.

"Really?" she asked, glancing at her husband as she tried stuffing everything into one bag.

"Really. She's gonna use those beautiful blue eyes to her advantage. She's already plotting."

"I'm sure she is."

"She is," he smiled. "You know, I have space, you can put that with my stuff." He leaned over and picked Gaila up. "Mommy's making her life harder than it has to be. Yes, she is."

"I am not," Jim pouted. "I didn't design all these dumb uniforms. I just have them."

"I bet the guys don't have to worry about it."

"Actually, they have the option of wearing the skirts. Chekov does it all the time. He's got nice legs, so nobody cares. We don't need anything else, do we? I feel like I'm forgetting something."

"You're not," her husband wrapped his free arm around her waist and gave her a quick kiss. Gaila reached out and touched Jim's nose. "You have me and you have Gaila, all the rest of this stuff is extra."

"Are you sure that you want to do this?" she asked him. "I wouldn't be upset if you wanted to stay with your family."

"What do you think I'm doing?" he gave her a look. "You two lovely ladies are my family. There are far too many families who end up separated. We have the option of being together and I will take that any day."

"But…"

"I made my decision, Jim. I'm not going to change my mind."

"Would you please stop being all adorable?" Jim asked. "You're worse than the baby."

"No, I'm not," Sy chuckled. "She does it on purpose."

"She's six months old."

"She's half Vulcan, her brain develops faster than a normal human baby. She does the cute thing on purpose," her husband smiled at Gaila, who gave him a look like he just gave away all her secrets.

"You're both gonna drive me crazy, aren't you?" she smiled.

"Every day for the rest of forever."

* * *

"Has our new Ambassador-at-Large gotten settled into his office?" Chris asked as Jim walked down the corridor.

When Sybok decided that he was going with the ship, his dad had him transferred to the Federation Diplomatic Corp. Given his years of diplomatic service, someone decided that he warranted an advancement to full ambassador. His job on the ship would not only be interacting with new species, but also working with other diplomats from known races, keeping the Enterprise on the right side of diplomatic laws and facilitating agreements and treaties.

"Sir?"

"As you were, Jim. Don't do that with me. You're here to keep me honest and you can't do that if you're saluting me at the same time," her CO said.

"Got it, Skipper," Jim chuckled. "Yes, Sy is settled. I'm kinda jealous, his office is closer to the school than mine. Is Bones settled?"

"I'm not entirely sure. He has a list of things that the engineers didn't do correctly. At least, correctly according to him," her friend smiled.

"He can take that up with Scotty… if he's brave enough."

"Ooo, who do you think will win that one?" Chris asked as the pair stepped into the turbolift. "I mean, Leo can hypo everyone on the ship, including me."

"Yes, but Scotty has power over the ship. I mean, everything from the temperature of the showers to the computer systems to the replicators to the transporters is under his control," she pointed out. "I don't know. I'd take getting a hypo over not taking a shower."

"Very good point," he chuckled as they stepped onto the bridge. "Where are we?"

"Thrusters and impulse engines are ready at your command, sir," Sulu said from his seat at the helm.

"Weapons systems and shields are on standby," Chekov added.

"Dock control reports ready, Captain," Uhura smiled.

"Thank you," Chris smiled. "Leo, what are you doin' up here?"

"This is where the magic happens, isn't it?" Bones asked.

"I thought that was your quarters," Jim muttered under her breath. Bones and Chris both gave her a look when Spock snickered. "Oh shit, I made Spock laugh." Bones glared at her but Chris gave her a wink and a smile.

"I did not laugh, I snickered. There is a difference," Spock told her.

"Not from where I'm standing," Jim smiled.

"Can you check in with Scotty?" her CO asked.

"I can," Jim nodded and hit the comm. "Talk to me, Mister Scott."

"Dilithium chambers at maximum, Commander. We're ready to go," the engineer told her over the system.

"Thank you, Scotty," Jim said.

"Any time, lass," Scotty said before cutting the comm. Jim gave her report to Chris, who took his seat in the command chair.

"Never thought they'd give her back to me," Chris smiled.

"I told you I'd get you on your feet again," Bones reminded him.

"That you did, Doctor," the rear admiral smiled. "Mister Sulu, prepare to engage thrusters."

"Aye, Captain," Sulu said with a nod and a smile. "Thrusters on standby."

Chris smiled, "Take us out."

* * *

AN: This is the end of this story but it's not the end of Jim, Sybok and baby Gaila's story. I'm actually outlining the next one _Diplomatic Protocol_ , so keep your eyes open for it.


End file.
